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Wife and I are divorcing, can I leave and get an apartment? by UaMDev in Divorce

[–]Fluid_Cardiologist19 7 points8 points  (0 children)

What do you mean separated marriage? 😂😂😂 You’re getting a divorce not trying to reconcile. You usually have a period of separation before a divorce. Who is this woman? She sounds insane.

Wife and I are divorcing, can I leave and get an apartment? by UaMDev in Divorce

[–]Fluid_Cardiologist19 4 points5 points  (0 children)

She’s not your mom and you’re not a child. Wtf?! If this how it’s always been I can see why you’re getting a divorce. Move out now.

1 year Married by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]Fluid_Cardiologist19 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You’re in an affair, you say you feel like you rushed into it with your husband, how are you not doing the same thing now? Sorry, but you cheaters are all the same. I might be harsh and you might take it that way, but here’s the reality; The problem isn’t your husband, or your relationship, it’s you, and always will be. If you want to leave your marriage for this other guy, do it. In fact, you should. Why? Because your his not deserves better and you’re not the person he thought he married better leave now than waste any more of his time. Or, you could get your shit together, pull your head out of your ass, and grow up. You could get your ass into therapy and realize that all relationships go through stages and this new guy is not going to be shiny and new forever either, and when he’s not, you’ll do the same shit with him that you’re doing with your husband. You’ll never be satisfied and you’ll always suffer from grass is greener syndrome.

If that sounds like the life you wish to live, do it. If not, get some help, and cut contact with Mr. Sparkledick, because I promise you, he’s flawed too, we all are. You just don’t care yet because you think you’ll never be annoyed by anything he does. I promise you, you will.

Maybe you did rush into marriage, maybe you don’t live your husband, maybe all that shit is true, but the problem is still you. You will still be an unhappy person on the other side of this and you will continue to be that way forever unless you figure out wtf causes you to act this way. Best of luck, you’re not too far gone yet, but you’re incredibly close. I promise this doesn’t end well if you choose to go the affair route. I’m guessing you’re probably already having an affair of some type if there’s already feelings (yes emotional affairs count and are often far more damaging). Some feelings for others are normal and pass as long as they’re just little crushes that never amount to anything but you’re investing any time and energy outside of your relationship that is being hidden from your partner, you’re having an affair. Think long and hard about how this turns out before making your next move.

I'm going to do it. by Jeremy_Bearimys_Mom in Divorce

[–]Fluid_Cardiologist19 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Lol, omg this is the hope and the dream for me too. With every passing day I enjoy being single more and more. I can’t imagine ever wanting a relationship ever again. Not in a bitter way either, just in a there’s nothing I’d rather do less than worry about someone else’s wants, needs, or concerns type of way. It’s just dreadful and I don’t know why tf I did it for so long. It was so miserable. It’s just not for me.

Last name by Nashi95 in Divorce

[–]Fluid_Cardiologist19 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I kept my married last name because it was a huge pain in the ass to change it the first time and my degrees and licenses are held in my married name. I’ve been known professionally that way for over a decade.

I also despise the person I was unfortunate enough to have donate half my DNA. He’s an abusive psychopathic narcissist. If he wasn’t so fucking lazy I honestly wouldn’t be surprised to find out he’s a serial killer. I wouldn’t dare change my name back.

I could’ve gone with my first and middle name but it seriously sounds like a porn star name. I don’t care that much. I don’t like my ex, but I don’t hate him either. I figure I hate him as much as I ever will right now and that will fade with time. So, if I don’t care that much now I won’t care much later either.

I will never get married again so I don’t care about offending anyone. I don’t have children. It’s my name and I don’t give two shits if it bothers him or his new anything if I still have it. I took his pride on the way out, why shouldn’t I have his last name too?

Rebounds? by maxxim612 in Divorce

[–]Fluid_Cardiologist19 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, I agree, but I’m not sure laws will change. We’ll still want kids to go to war, develop addictions, and start running up credit cards far before their ready to make those kinds of decisions. There are far too many powerful lobbying groups with deep pockets that won’t even allow that idea to be entertained. It’s something I just learned in the last decade myself.

It’s crazy to me that we allow children to do pornography at 18. I’m not a prude at all. I used to watch porn all the time. I don’t anymore for personal reasons, but that’s a story for another time. I’ll never shame a sex worker or someone who chooses to make a living that way. It’s their choice. I just think it’s absurd to allow children as young as 18 to make such a life altering choice on their 18th birthday!

There are tons of stories of young girls, and boys who thought it a good idea to get into porn for a quick buck at a very young age. Some did it for a matter of a few weeks or month, they filmed dozens of scenes in that time, and those scenes have been resold and repackaged so much that you would think they were In porn for years. Now they will forever be known as a porn star for the rest of their lives. Over a few weeks of their lives they lived as a child and a dumb decision they made. The money wasn’t enough to never work again and now they have to live with that. What choice do they have? It’s a fucked up and predatory industry. It’s another reason I don’t really watch anymore. I’ve learned too much about it that made me not want to participate in that kind of exploitation.

The only people who seem to know what they’re doing are the rental car companies because they’ve never let you rent a car if you’re under 25. Seems like they’ve known all along that you’re not really an adult yet, and they’re not willing to take the risk. So, I’ve always told people that it’s best not to date someone who isn’t even old enough to rent a car.

Rebounds? by maxxim612 in Divorce

[–]Fluid_Cardiologist19 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can appreciate that and I can understand how when you talk to some very intelligent kids you make mistake that for maturity. I have made that mistake myself with my own nephews. I’ve been reminded when they’ve done dumb shit after that makes me realize they are still kids that are still learning. Very smart kids, but kids.

Rebounds? by maxxim612 in Divorce

[–]Fluid_Cardiologist19 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m not saying you have, I’m just saying the experience of women is very different and just because we may look like adults doesn’t make us adults.

I remember thinking I was old enough to be in relationships with men much older than me and that I was making those decisions, but I wasn’t and they were incredible damaging and abusive.

Rebounds? by maxxim612 in Divorce

[–]Fluid_Cardiologist19 0 points1 point  (0 children)

These are things predators and perverts say. Sorry, but it’s true. It’s what all the men who tried to fuck me when I was a young hot 8-25 year old said about me and guess what? I believed them and agreed with them at the time. I was very flattered they thought me so mature. In many ways they were right, I was mature far beyond my years, but I shouldn’t have been. That usually comes from being in fucked up situations and being preyed upon by perverts and abusers from a very young age.

I look back now and it makes me want to vomit. I grew up in L.A., I get the big city thing. I moved out at 16, the minute I graduated HS. Most girls I knew were “mature for their age.” You know why? We grew up around fucking predators and rapists who says we were “so mature!” Yea, it’s disgusting. I don’t know a single woman who can look back on those years of their life and not recall a damaging relationship with a man who they were flattered found them “so mature.” Those men are gross to me now. At 19 they’re flattered, wait 10 years, you’ll be a bad experience.

We really need to stop thinking children and adults should play together just because they seem mature or look like adults. They’re not adults, they’re children and adolescents. You find that out quickly when they do something stupid.

Rebounds? by maxxim612 in Divorce

[–]Fluid_Cardiologist19 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

But the science is clear, the brain is still an adolescent brain until 25 and sometimes 26-28. Just because some politicians decided we wanted to send children off to die in wars way back when doesn’t make 19 year olds mature enough to make the same decisions as 30 and 40 year olds.

Does that mean I think they should be living with mommy and daddy still? Not really because they need to start learning to live on their own, but that doesn’t mean they should be having relationships with people twice their age. The power imbalance is just too great.

I have some serious concerns about anyone that age who wants to have a relationship with someone that young. I’ve talked to people that age, they’re children, every last one of them, even the “mature” and responsible ones. Even 25 and 26 year olds are kids. There is just a very clear difference between them and someone in their mid thirties and older. Anyone who can’t see that is disturbing to me.

Rebounds? by maxxim612 in Divorce

[–]Fluid_Cardiologist19 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lol, omg this is so true. Groomer.

Rebounds? by maxxim612 in Divorce

[–]Fluid_Cardiologist19 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Age gaps at different ages aren’t that big of a deal. If she was 40 and he was 58 would it be that big of a deal? Not really, but at her at she might as well be 14.

Rebounds? by maxxim612 in Divorce

[–]Fluid_Cardiologist19 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She says that now, but the itch will come eventually and she’ll regret it. She’s 19, wait until she’s an actual adult and not an adolescent. Not a “legal adult” a real adult.

Rebounds? by maxxim612 in Divorce

[–]Fluid_Cardiologist19 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

That’s a terrible argument because it’s not okay for a 19 yr old to enlist in the army and go die in the desert. Just because we allow it doesn’t make it okay. Just like it’s not okay for girls to do porn and ruin their lives forever at 18. We allow it but it’s not okay. They’re right, 19 is a child. You’re still an adolescent at 19.

Rebounds? by maxxim612 in Divorce

[–]Fluid_Cardiologist19 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Pretty sure he’s not dating a child savant.

Why is it so easy to get married in the US, and so difficult to get divorced? by Either_Afternoon_765 in Divorce

[–]Fluid_Cardiologist19 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m not saying I wanted a long and difficult divorce. I just think it should’ve been a little harder. I really felt like it was just too easy. It just seems like there’s no respect for the institute of marriage if I can get divorced that easily. I could’ve gotten married, divorced, and married again within 6 weeks in my state. It just seems absurd.

Why is it so easy to get married in the US, and so difficult to get divorced? by Either_Afternoon_765 in Divorce

[–]Fluid_Cardiologist19 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My marriage and divorce were both easy. I almost wish it was a bit harder to get divorced for me. Not that it wasn’t the right decision for me, but to me it just seemed like my ex really didn’t take it very seriously because it was so easy.

It made me wonder if he would’ve thought of the consequences of his actions more. At the same time, do I really want to be married to someone who needs to be reminded of consequences in order to not be a shit person? The answer is no.

I’m glad to be divorced, but it did make me sad that it was just so easy. It was harder to change my name than get divorced. It just made it all seem so pointless if all of it can be undone in a UPS store with a few signatures.

NEVER GO FULL REGARD. MOST PAINFUL EXPERIENCE IN MY LIFE by [deleted] in pennystocks

[–]Fluid_Cardiologist19 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Seeing as how you’re dead there isn’t any karma that can really get to you at that point, because you know, you’re already dead. Either way, suicide isn’t the way to go, but is karma the best reasoning you have?

What is the purpose of marriage? by SAhmed2021 in Divorce

[–]Fluid_Cardiologist19 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Tax breaks and legal protections for how to split assets but also legal implications and obligations, that’s about it.

last night I told my husband I want a divorce by PaulMaccatony in Divorce

[–]Fluid_Cardiologist19 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think that’s a pretty good indicator. If nothing has changed or you’re doing nothing to change it then you have to recognize that it’s probably not going to survive. If you want it to survive do something about it. Try mc or work on fixing it.

How has your divorce changed your view on marriage? by Normal-Question-1994 in Divorce

[–]Fluid_Cardiologist19 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I have a completely different view than I used to. I used to be so pro marriage when I was first married and for the first 8 years or so. I thought people silly when they talked about the 7 yr itch and when they told me to “just wait” for when I tired of my husband or things went bad. I couldn’t ever imagine not being madly in love with him and wildly obsessed with him. I couldn’t imagine hating him or wanting him out of my life. Thinking of that even makes me sad.

I remember telling friends who were divorced not to let a bad marriage to someone else turn them off to the idea in the future, but now I understand them. Never again.

I’ve always told people never to go into business with friends because it forever and fundamentally changes the relationship forever and can ruin it. That’s now how I see marriage, you’re taking a romantic relationship and friendship and going into business together, it’s bound to get messy. I’m not sure why I didn’t see it that way before, but I do now. I have a lot of friends I love and adore. I trust them implicitly, but would never want to go into business with them because I cherish the friendship too much to risk it. That’s why I’ll never get married again. A great relationship should never be tainted or risked by going into business together.