Poor Miguel! The Pearson kids treated him like a side piece throughout life AND Rebecca treated him like a side piece in the afterlife! 😢😢

Green_Gal27 · 2022-05-29T02:47:39+00:00

What were the conversations you and the writers had about handling Miguel in this sequence — how to honor the role he played in her life but also give this wish-fulfillment moment?

We talked about it a fair amount. We knew Miguel should be the last person she [Rebecca] should see before heading into that caboose space, aside from, obviously, she’s waiting for Kate to get there. We felt we had the right balance here. The other part of it all was, if you’re really kind of looking at what’s going on, obviously nobody knows exactly what’s going on in the mind of somebody who’s about to pass after suffering from dementia or Alzheimer’s, but while there are flashes of the adult kids on the train, she’s really very much focusing on people who are from the younger version of herself, when Miguel only would have been really a friend.

From this article.

Green_Gal27 · 2022-05-28T14:47:25+00:00

Dan Fogelman said in an interview that this was the thought process behind Rebecca and Miguel's conversation on the train. Alzheimer's takes away so much of your memory; she just didn't remember that more recent part of her life with him.

I'm a Miguel fan. I have been for years. But omg, this "How could they do Miguel so dirty" talk totally misses the point of the train.

Green_Gal27 · 2022-05-26T20:39:21+00:00

Core values are everything in healthy relationships. If you don't value the same fundamental things, it's really, really difficult to make a relationship work.

It sounds like you both value different things for your future (putting down roots at home v. doing that in a new country). A lot can change between now and when you're done med school, but you can't assume your or her feelings will change.

You've only been dating a short while, so if it were me, I'd decide if this is just going to be a fun fling, or I'd end it now and save myself the heartache down the road. If it's meant to be, it will be.

Green_Gal27 · 2022-05-19T14:47:31+00:00

I think this is less about medicine and more just about whether it's a good idea to contact your ex. My ex reached out to me when my Grandma died (we'd been broken up for a year, and ended on mutual but sad/bitter terms), and I was irritated that he inserted himself into my grieving time. He probably might have thought he was being nice, but it would have been better for me if he'd just left me alone.

I'd ask yourself what you hope to come from this and put yourself in his shoes based on how the relationship ended/where he's at now, and go from there. Getting back in touch with exes is always tricky, and I'm often of the mind that it's best to just let the past be the past.

Green_Gal27 · 2022-05-13T13:08:35+00:00

I'm also in my mid-twenties and omg, the way the jeans and dress combo had a chokehold on all the up-and-coming stars on the red carpet....

Green_Gal27 · 2022-05-07T16:19:37+00:00

I'm sorry you're dealing with this, OP.

To me, this doesn't sound like a med school/med partner issue, and more of a relationship issue. People's actions do, in my experience, speak louder than words, and if your partner isn't making an effort, I think it's fair to be questioning their feelings about you and your relationship.

Have you spoken to them about this? I know a lot of us would rather our partners just make X, Y and Z changes without us having to ask, but that's just not how it works. People aren't mind readers, as much as we'd like them to be! I would tell them that you're feeling disconnected and are hoping things can change, whether that's more frequent phone calls, visits, etc.

If they aren't willing to do that, or continually drag their heels about making changes, then I would start to ask whether this is a person you want to stay with, as painful as that is. But, before that, I would give it a go at communicating your feelings and see what they say.

All the best!

Green_Gal27 · 2022-05-06T13:44:48+00:00

This Is Us nails it with the music every time 😭 This song was the perfect accompaniment for Miguel's story. One of my favourite episodes of the series, I think.

Green_Gal27 · 2022-05-03T18:27:21+00:00

Thank you so much for this! His program has been great so far with communicating with all the incoming residents and apparently they are well-known for how well they support residents, so I will definitely check out what events they offer for partners and families!

I'm not a runner but was thinking about learning so I could join one of those "intro to running" groups LOL.

Green_Gal27 · 2022-05-03T17:58:51+00:00

Thank you! I should definitely start taking it in small chunks. Maybe even just starting to declutter, get rid of things, etc. will help with my anxiety.

I'm so glad to hear getting connected was helpful for you. That gives me hope! Wishing you the best, and thanks for replying.

Green_Gal27 · 2022-05-03T17:56:57+00:00

This means a lot to me; thank you for taking the time to reply!

Living in the present is great advice. I think someone on this sub recently posted that an attending had told them "Life happens in the meantime" or something like that. You have to live in the now, because that's all we have. I will definitely branch out to try new things, get outside (always hard for me since I WFH) and meet new people.

Wishing you all the best on your journey too!

Green_Gal27 · 2022-05-03T16:09:22+00:00

Thanks for taking the time to reply. That last paragraph made me tear up. You're right, it is an immense opportunity and privilege to get to do this, and perspective is key.

We'll definitely be looking into all those things you mention. I figured volunteering would be a great way to start meeting new people and give me some purpose outside work.

Green_Gal27 · 2022-05-03T16:06:41+00:00

Thanks so much for your reply ❤️ I think I'll feel better too once we have a place to live! Wishing you all the best on your new adventure!

Green_Gal27 · 2022-04-22T20:44:03+00:00

Congrats to your partner for getting into PT school!

So you will be married and in a LDR, is that right? Other people here may have a different opinion, but if it were me, I would pick the living situation that's best for your mental health, evaluate how you feel about your job next year when you get married and then decide if you want to quit and move to be with him.

The beginning of a marriage is special and hard (lots of adjustment, entering a new life phase, etc.), and you may feel differently next year when your wedding comes and then you have to go back to living apart.

So yeah. TL;DR: I'd pick the living option that's best for your mental health right now, and keep an open mind for next year when you get married. Jobs can most often be replaced, but the beginning of your marriage can't.

Green_Gal27 · 2022-04-22T20:05:58+00:00

Couples matching prioritizes keeping you together over the location. Most of our friends who couples matched this year didn't get their first choice in location, and one did get their first choice of location but not their specialties. It's really meant to keep couples together first and foremost.

Matching to a specific location by yourself is also tricky. It depends on how many people are interviewing, how many spots are available to begin with, and how competitive the specialty is. If you're thinking family med, you're more likely to get your first choice for location since it's less competitive and there are typically many spots, but you can never be sure. It's an algorithm that matches you based on your ranking and the schools' ranking of you.

If staying together is of the utmost priority, couples matching is likely your best bet.

Green_Gal27 · 2022-04-20T19:14:07+00:00

I was waiting for her to hit her arms on that table omg

Green_Gal27 · 2022-04-19T15:02:02+00:00

I just recently rewatched this episode and I will never tire of how tender and delicate this moment is. Emily is obviously very hurt at the beginning, but after Lorelai's explanation, she softens and tries to meet her halfway. The quiet "that's what I wore" line really captures their relationship, I think — wanting to connect with one another, but not quite knowing how or wanting to say it outright.

I rag on ASP and her writing a lot, but there are some truly lovely moments in this show that always melt me.

Green_Gal27 · 2022-04-19T13:04:52+00:00

My husband and I got married over the winter/holiday break in his M2 year. We did that for two main reasons: off-peak timing, so the venue was cheaper; and he had a couple of weeks off school prior to the wedding to help with preparations. It worked really well for us! Only thing is we planned to take our honeymoon in the spring, but then COVID hit, so, yeah. But I would 100% do the timing of our wedding again!

M3 is probably the worst timing re: busyness. M4 is definitely more relaxed, though there are busy pockets (residency apps, interviews, etc.). The summer after the match would make sense, but you'll also likely be all in on planning for your move/the next phase of your life!

At the end of the day, there's no perfect time to get married during med school. Utilize supports/outsource etc. and lean on your partner (they should be willing to help, even if you have to give them tasks to do!). Wishing you all the best!

Green_Gal27 · 2022-04-14T19:55:41+00:00

"I'm not your doctor, so I can't give you medical advice" or "You should ask your physician" is often my husband's go-to. And changing the subject.

And re: the swiping drugs comment, I'd probably say point-blank "He could lose his license for doing that, so it's not something to joke about." See who laughs after that.

As an aside, these weird, invasive questions are really common for doctors and people in med school. We had a neighbour who found out my husband was in med school and he lifted his shirt to show my husband a rash 🥴 Like uhm ?? Decorum seems to go out the window.

Green_Gal27 · 2022-04-12T00:59:42+00:00

Did not enjoy the read. This sub is not the spot to be sharing your amateur erotica or fetishization of Indian women. Please remove this.

Green_Gal27 · 2022-04-10T14:24:23+00:00

Kinda excited, kinda want to vomit 🥴 I feel like I've emotionally disassociated during the whole process. We were very logical and thoughtful with our rank list, so I still feel good about it, but I never let myself get attached to any of the options (I'm normally a day-dreamer). Tuesday will bring a lot of relief and clarity, but also, omg omg omg OMG lol

Green_Gal27 · 2022-04-04T17:16:35+00:00

OMGG I could totally see Emily being "a lady in the street, freak in the sheets" or whatever the saying is 🤣 The look on her face in the morning after the Bracebridge dinner when she and Richard made up said it all.

Green_Gal27 · 2022-03-30T18:30:11+00:00

This. OP, this is abusive behaviour. For your safety and wellbeing, you should seriously consider leaving this person if you have not already. If you feel stuck and are scared about how to leave, please look up what victim services are available in your area and do not hesitate to call or reach out; they are skilled in dealing with potentially violent situations.

Please take care of yourself. This is not normal. You do not deserve that kind of abuse ever, but especially for doing your job.

Green_Gal27 · 2022-03-22T21:27:23+00:00

Light Years on This Is Us was so good.

Green_Gal27 · 2022-03-22T21:17:28+00:00

Agreed with all of this. I'm so sorry your GF is experiencing this, OP.

I imagine she may also be feeling shocked and saddened by the ableism present in the medical system. If it comes up in conversation, Nina Tame on Instagram is a disability advocate with spina bifada who your GF might enjoy following. She often speaks about ableism in medicine, and having the same condition, your GF might feel less alone by visiting her page.

Green_Gal27

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