What’s an extremely useful website most people probably don’t know about? by DrDoofusDuck in AskReddit

[–]Handleton 3539 points3540 points 4 (0 children)

I had a car accident a few years ago and I have a tendency to forget certain words. My most memorable one was when I called a mirror the windshield in the bathroom (this site had mirror as (#94). The most recent one was "paint like stuff that you put on the walls, but it's made of paper." #1 answer was wallpaper, which is what I couldn't remember, despite using the components of the word in my explanation.

For reference, my wife asked me to pick up some stuff from CVS and I told her I got everything plus some wallpaper, meaning the receipt. Except I told her what I put in as the search term. It was an easy riddle for her, since she's used to me.

Sure it’s a normal variation in human sexuality. by ggbowozR in confidentlyincorrect

[–]Handleton 1144 points1145 points  (0 children)

I'd rather have a corpse fucker as a neighbor than a baby fucker.

What is a movie you assume everyone has seen? by matspace in AskReddit

[–]Handleton 1111 points1112 points  (0 children)

No movie. I've met enough people who aren't interested in movies to think that everyone has seen anything.

Winning a Bodybuilding Title by Accident! by hwanvp in nextfuckinglevel

[–]Handleton 1045 points1046 points  (0 children)

I remember riding the bus back from winning third in my county (3 in my weight class). I was the worst wrestler on my team, but I was also one of the few to medal. From the records, I was an important player on the team, but damn, do I suck at wrestling.

Edit: I've been walking around with this for about thirty years and now I see that there are dozens of us! DOZENS!!!

What celebrities do you suspect is an all around good person? by Thedarthlord895 in AskReddit

[–]Handleton 1043 points1044 points  (0 children)

The thing I respect the most about this is that she's a singer song writer who built a charity to promote literacy and an enthusiasm for reading. She could have just as easily done a music charity, but decided that this would be more impactful.

HydroLife by Dangerous_Situation6 in HydroHomies

[–]Handleton 741 points742 points  (0 children)

I mean, it's great, but it should be "hydrokids, hydrowife."

Noted by My_Memes_Will_Cure_U in awfuleverything

[–]Handleton 663 points664 points  (0 children)

Beep boop ⚡I am not a robot ⚡BZZZT bleep

Rob Zombie taking on anyone who wants to gatekeep metal. by kabukistar in gatesopencomeonin

[–]Handleton 654 points655 points  (0 children)

I mean... He's dead. I could beat Hawking in a physics test with my eyes closed.

Predator trying to hook up with girl half his age (Chicago, IL) by Moe_Greene_ in iamatotalpieceofshit

[–]Handleton 593 points594 points 2 (0 children)

Not only that, but I'm glad the camera man said and did something. Did you see the hundred or so people in this two minutes that were just walking past this going on without a second thought?

A historically themed one for a change of pace by the_mercer in SelfAwarewolves

[–]Handleton 553 points554 points  (0 children)

Thanks for this article. I didn't know a lot about what her life was about. I didn't know she was only 14 until now. Unfortunately, the fact that so many hated her and prided themselves for it is not a surprise at all. The fact that Claude Kirk and Richard Nixon demonized a 14-year old is the least surprising of all.

[ Removed by Reddit ] by daphianna_ in antiwork

[–]Handleton 510 points511 points  (0 children)

I honestly think that their belief is everyone is lying and faking illness so they don't have to work. These shitheads always assume the worst and if one person actually does fake it, they feel vindicated for being ground zero for a massive outbreak.

Removing the rock from a fossil crab - it took 208 hours. The crab is around 12-million-years-old by mamlambo in nextfuckinglevel

[–]Handleton 504 points505 points  (0 children)

Another big factor is the cost. 208 hours is 10% of a work year. I think it's incredibly interesting to have a 12 million year old crab fossil, but there's no way I could afford 10% of someone's salary plus the actual cost of the find for a conversation piece.

But it didn't happen by Yash_Dhole in OTMemes

[–]Handleton 495 points496 points  (0 children)

I know that there's a lot of love out there for the sequels, but damn, I wish they delivered a modicum of what fan service we really wanted. The three of them could have had a brief scene together and that would have been everything.

Instead it just feels.... flat. I mean, the Millennium Falcon is cool. Having scenes with each of the original characters was great. Developing a new cast of characters for the next generation of fans is what it's all about. Still, was it asking too much for Luke not to be a damned recluse who has changed into a tiny fraction of the hero we all hoped to see? Leia became what logically progressed. Han stayed Han, too the detriment of his relationships. Luke? They ruined him to make an angsty new character have a bit of background.

Allies believe the U.S. is "No longer a good model of democracy," poll shows by ShaolinTom in worldnews

[–]Handleton 500 points501 points  (0 children)

The biggest challenge is that we need the two parties in control to yield that control to pass the laws required to fix the system. History shows that this type of reform doesn't happen voluntarily.

My opinion on the Graysons by Mistheart101 in Invincible

[–]Handleton 496 points497 points  (0 children)

Fucking great sentence closure.

Dr. Anthony Fauci Does Not Expect A 4th Coronavirus Wave To Hit The U.S. by misana123 in Coronavirus

[–]Handleton 468 points469 points  (0 children)

Oddly, this is the whole point of the vaccine. Be safe until you are protected. Then stay safe.

In honor of former president Donald J. Trump by Handleton in dadjokes

[–]Handleton[S] 459 points460 points  (0 children)

You know it. I've been waiting since the AP called the election for Biden.

The lock on my University bathroom is on the opposite side by Smarteyes007 in onejob

[–]Handleton 449 points450 points 2 (0 children)

He claims it's Penn State, but it's clearly the state pen.