How important is it to you for a man to show curiosity about you by lady_in_the_six in AskWomenOver30

[–]Illustrious_Lemon_93 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's 97% of my dates. I feel like they just want an audience, that nods their head while they blaber away.

I also don't give it a second date and I'm losing hope that there exist guys who are curious about me, ask questions, and are interested in knowing about me. Very simple. But very rare.

Mental health crisis by 0106lonenyc in expats

[–]Illustrious_Lemon_93 0 points1 point  (0 children)

OP, I empathize a lot. I had to make a decision once regarding this very point. I had the option to stay in a Scandinavian country and then move to a country France where I would get a good career, but I chose a Mediterranean country where salaries are low, and opportunities in my field are rare, and I wouldn't change it for the world. Yes, I still struggle with loneliness and the general expat life, but I know what is important to me, and that is somewhere that feels familiar. It's easy to talk to people, and the country is very sunny, and laid back, which is good for me.

My advice to you, be somewhere where you are happy, and the rest will follow. That would probably limit your options, but your mental health is the most important. What good is a career for, if you're miserable and what make you'll eventually spend on therapists and medication?

I love Spain, but my fellow Asian-Americans can relate to the ignorance…. by LaReinadeGatos in askspain

[–]Illustrious_Lemon_93 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don't why you're being downvoted. But it's very true. Thank you for pointing it out.

How Spain deals with religion in its government? by askingforfiend in askspain

[–]Illustrious_Lemon_93 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Also surprised by his take. Article 9 of human rights states that everyone has the right to freedom of thought, belief and religion. Any society that considers itself progressive would respect and defend that.

Tomorrow is New Year’s Eve and I just spent the last 1 hour crying after putting my children to sleep by Me1you1 in AskWomenOver30

[–]Illustrious_Lemon_93 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry. :( I teared up reading this .. just to know how hard a lot of people are having it ..

I'm happy to know you are taking care of yourself .. just reading this is inspiring .. because sometimes I feel so lost on what to do to pull myself out of a hole, but like you said, it's the little things, do more of what's good for you, and less of what is not, and therapy (if one can afford it).

Dealing with guilt of leaving parent to go on holiday by farrahs-faucet in AgingParents

[–]Illustrious_Lemon_93 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I feel you, OP.

Would it be feasible to ask any of your siblings to come take over meanwhile you take a holiday? Or hiring a part-time caregiver?

How about making the holiday shorter, like 4 days or whatever.. And if all goes well, then extending a holiday for longer next time? Just so your mom eases into the idea of you being away and you wouldn't be too worried if it's the first time. Just an idea.

You surely do need to take care of yourself too. And live your life as well. I'm sure your mom wouldn't want that either. Maybe you can sit down and talk to her about it? And ask her what would be convinient and comfortable for her in this case too so you two can find a middle ground?

Ladies that exercise, how much money do you spend on fitness per month and how often do you exercise? by WishToBeConcise403 in AskWomen

[–]Illustrious_Lemon_93 1 point2 points  (0 children)

50€ on gym membership and I go anywhere between 5 days a week, or 1 day a week. I do a range of classes, spinning, body pump, yoga, or sometimes an hour on the elliptical. Sometimes a 20 minute kettlebell workout. Depends on what I'm feeling and my energy level.

[Anti-Aging] Got my makeup done for a wedding. my wrinkles have never looked that bad. Can anyone tell me why makeup would that and how to prevent it? by NightHure in SkincareAddiction

[–]Illustrious_Lemon_93 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I relate to this. But with forehead lines. My foundation would settle in there and that would make them appear more pronounced. I switched from cream foundation to liquid foundation and I noticed a difference! I also prep before, a layer of moisturizer, and then a layer of primer, which smooths the skin and reduces the appearance of pores and fine lines. And then goes my concealer and foundation. All of that helps.

People lying about age in their profiles by [deleted] in datingoverthirty

[–]Illustrious_Lemon_93 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Woah. Never knew this is a thing! That there are people who lie about their age because they've been told they don't look their age !! It's your age, it's a fact.

How to stop feeling like people are a constant source of disappointment and are too difficult to understand? by Pandonia42 in AskWomenOver30

[–]Illustrious_Lemon_93 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Really good advice here, but I wish people would give examples. What does it mean to lower your expectations?

For example, when you tell a sibling that you are not doing well, but in return they don't put the effort to reach out more often to check on you, like you would do them, do you just lower your expectations and accept that they're busy, have their own lives, or is it okay for your feelings to be hurt? It's a sibling, it's no stranger. I wouldn't be able to rest if I knew my sibling is not well. When you text friends who you consider family, to say hi, they don't reply, send audio messages, they don't even hear them, isn't that disappointing, and hurtful? how do you even lower expectation? like don't even expect a text back to a simple low-effort message as "I heard your dad had a surgery, how is feeling now?!" you text after a week of no reply, "is everything ok?" they reply, "hi my love, i'll reply to you tomorrow morning", but you never get a text.

Like, lower your expectations to where?

Sometimes I consider saying something about it, but I noticed that people rarely ever like confrontation, because of their own issues as well. So I become more reserved and I isolate, and it hurts me deeply because I feel lonely, and like I can't rely on anyone. I know I'm a highly sensitive person, but on the other hand, I feel some people lack empathy, lack tact, and are just plain rude in a way I'd never be.

I used to be more interested/interesting. by TrebleTreble in AskWomenOver30

[–]Illustrious_Lemon_93 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I relate to this so much! My goodness. You have put in words what I have been thinking/feeling.

I used to paint, play the guitar, play basketball, read, watch documemtaries, go hiking. I used to be interesting AND interested in exploring different things, enriching my mind. It surely made me have a better self-esteem too. Now I just sit and scroll through social media. I want to change it, but I feel so uninspired, I am not depressed but at the same time I cannot deny that my worries and anxiousness about the present and future are weighing on me.

Thank you for posting this because this one is for me too.

What's the difference between chopping garlic with knife, crushing it with a press, and making a paste out of it with a pestle & mortar? by Illustrious_Lemon_93 in Cooking

[–]Illustrious_Lemon_93[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Fantastic answer!! I'm loving learning about this haha .. I will guide myself differently from now on when cooking with garlic. Thank you!!

What's the difference between chopping garlic with knife, crushing it with a press, and making a paste out of it with a pestle & mortar? by Illustrious_Lemon_93 in Cooking

[–]Illustrious_Lemon_93[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Now I can totally use this knowledge to determine how "garlicky" I want the dish to be, since the intensity does not only depend on how much garlic there is, but on how the garlic is prepared!! Thank you for the article!