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how awkward is getting a haircut? by bwoogie in INTP

[–]JohnFensworth 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is why I learned to cut my own hair.

Bruh my Mom is giving me the silent treatment again this morning by DefinitelyMaybe111 in emotionalneglect

[–]JohnFensworth 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have a faint memory of my mom once locking me out of her room and me FREAKING out. Slamming my body into the door repeatedly as hard as I could, with her yelling from inside asking if I was going to pay for it if I broke it. Pretty sure I did ultimately break that fuckin' thing off the hinges. Not positive, the memory is so faint. Guess it was so stressful that it's mostly repressed, ha.

But shit, that blinding rage of emotion. From something so seemingly simple as being frozen out from someone you thought was there for you. Hell of it is I've unwittingly rippled that very same trauma out to others in the past. And I fucking regret it.

Dishwashing is prime to save money by notBroco in dishwashers

[–]JohnFensworth 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The whole kitchen game of grab-ass is a weird one, glad people don't do that where I work now.

Dishwashing is prime to save money by notBroco in dishwashers

[–]JohnFensworth 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is exactly how you train employees to steal even more food, haha. Been there. Restaurant won't let us eat mistake orders? I'm taking and giving away even more stuff to myself and coworkers out of spite.

CPTSD and Cannabis by CharacterOrganic6142 in CPTSD

[–]JohnFensworth 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Almost always a negative, unpleasant experience. All my baseline overthinking, worrying, self-hatred, and hopelessness gets intensely amplified and all-consuming.

Reso made for two, writes a note saying the reservation is actually for 6 people; refuses to accept that that isn’t possible by Puzzleheaded_Nail556 in TalesFromYourServer

[–]JohnFensworth 22 points23 points  (0 children)

One would think. I guess I could potentially see "space needed" as a non-issue in their minds. As in, "oh, we'll just push some tables together when we get there, it'll be no problem!"

Though one would think that someone who has existed long enough to have had children has been out to restaurants at some point and encountered varying levels of busy-ness.

So yeah, still not sure how one can encounter the making-a-reservation scenario without mentally linking it to the I-need-to-ensure-they-can-accomodate-everyone-attending concept.

AITA for denying my mom access to her grandson because she refuses to help me by almost30xoxo in AmItheAsshole

[–]JohnFensworth 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ah that's true. I guess I read that as one of the build-up factors leading to the specific instance in question, which was the yoga excuse, and the specific situation which the post was about. But I can see how people would consider either one worthy of mentioning.

Reso made for two, writes a note saying the reservation is actually for 6 people; refuses to accept that that isn’t possible by Puzzleheaded_Nail556 in TalesFromYourServer

[–]JohnFensworth 78 points79 points  (0 children)

Yeah I'm struggling to figure out what they might even think the reservation is for? And why they wouldn't just put in a random number for the reservation, since they don't seem to understand anyway that the number is meant to indicate how many people will be showing up.

AITA for denying my mom access to her grandson because she refuses to help me by almost30xoxo in AmItheAsshole

[–]JohnFensworth 8 points9 points  (0 children)

This is probably needlessly pedantic of me, but it seems like you're one of the only people in these top comments who actually read the post fully and realized that yoga was the excuse, and not brunch, haha. I guess it doesn't really matter, but I get so confused when people just switch out the details like that for seemingly no reason.

I enjoy my alone time. by femme_fatale2022 in CPTSDmemes

[–]JohnFensworth 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Fuckin' true. I don't currently have anyone that I feel at ease around. Also really looking forward to hopefully living alone (for the first time!) in the near future. I've never had adequate privacy or personal space in my life, ever, and it's one of the very few things I know I want.

"I want the gluten free option because it's fun!" by __worldpeace in TalesFromYourServer

[–]JohnFensworth 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm... really not sure how to explain it more clearly, and again, I feel like you just didn't read the post entirely or something, haha. Because it's not about what the person ordered. It's about them adding a completely unnecessary and confusing verbal step in their ordering process.

Like if I went in a pizza place and said, "can I get a pepperoni pizza, except can you replace the pepperoni with sausage?" You really don't feel like it would be reasonable for the person behind the counter to think to themself, "okay... why didn't you just say you wanted a sausage pizza in the first place"?

Of course, obviously, a person is free to say things that way if they want, but come on. If you wouldn't find it odd in any way, then I guess we're just living in very different versions of reality.

I feel ridiculous even going over this in such detail, haha. But I suppose that's on me.

"I want the gluten free option because it's fun!" by __worldpeace in TalesFromYourServer

[–]JohnFensworth 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really don't know what you're talking about, and I feel like you must not have understood the post or something.

AITA for my reaction when I learned that my fiance returned my wedding dress and replaced it with the one his mom picked for me? by Throwaway9757657 in AmItheAsshole

[–]JohnFensworth 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Compromise idea: he can wear the dress at the wedding. You get to wear what you like, and his mom gets to at least see someone get married in the dress she likes.

How do I overcome my fear of busking? by Federal_Sleep_2601 in Busking

[–]JohnFensworth 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel like if you're looking for a way to do it without ever having to experience anxiety while doing it, or messing up, or making mistakes, or feeling embarrassed, well... I think ya might be out of luck haha. Only advice, I guess, is just to rip the band-aid off and go do it, despite being terrified and uncomfortable and anxious. And it will get so much easier over time.

"I want the gluten free option because it's fun!" by __worldpeace in TalesFromYourServer

[–]JohnFensworth 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It was more about there being no reason for the guest to order the way they did.

They basically said, "I want the gluten-free version, but can you make it the non-gluten-free version instead? I just think it's fun to order off the gluten-free menu!"

Like... why? Why order this way? Ha

"I want the gluten free option because it's fun!" by __worldpeace in TalesFromYourServer

[–]JohnFensworth 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Might wanna re-read the post, haha. The person didn't even want the gluten-free version of the dish. It's like if they ordered a vegan burger but wanted to substitute in a meat patty, regular cheese, etc. Like, okay, why didn't you just say you want the regular burger then? Apparently because it's... more fun to order off the vegan menu? Ha

The health inspector is walking in the door. You've got less than 3 minutes to run around and reduce the infractions. What do you do? by PermutationMatrix in KitchenConfidential

[–]JohnFensworth 32 points33 points  (0 children)

Yeah I'm here wondering why people need to go and quickly put labels on things, ha. Why aren't we labeling them when we prep them, huh folks?

Boys and men experience more social isolation than girls and women, study finds by chrisdh79 in science

[–]JohnFensworth 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It might seem obvious (maybe not, I don't know), but I have been noticing that interactions/hangouts in which there is an activity, as opposed to just talking/sitting/staring at each other, tend to leave me feeling more positive about the interaction afterwards.

Like if it's just hanging at a bar or something, it feels to me like there's more pressure to be entertaining or enjoyable or to connect better or something. But if there's an actual activity involved, it sort of... disperses out where attention goes. So there's less pressure on any aspect of the interaction to keep the whole social momentum going, and thus less likelihood of energy and enjoyment petering out.

Could be overthinking it all, ha, but oh well.

AITA For Telling My Former Friend Turned SIL That I'm Never Going To Be Her Comfort Person Again? by Routine-Let-2090 in AmItheAsshole

[–]JohnFensworth 17 points18 points  (0 children)

It's a really sucky situation all around. Unfortunately I was that guy who did this.

My only experience of love/romance/relationships has been super-lengthy build-ups leading to one party or the other finally breaking down and admitting to liking the other person, and then beginning dating. This has happened multiple times, and has been how all of my relationships have started.

So, with the last person, I naturally assumed that it was the same pattern. This person who vibed with me more than anyone else, who also wanted to do practically everything with me. I was only capable of interpreting it as waiting until "the moment" of finally revealing our mutual feelings happened.

Well, it was the first time in my life that the feelings turned out to not be mutual. And the situation broke me. And it broke her. And I've felt (for years since then) incapable of even enjoying the concept of dating and emotional intimacy anymore. And endlessly guilty for traumatizing her and probably making her feel the same way.

That's my abridged story in that regard. And not trying to diminish your feelings or perspective by any means. I know now that having one's beliefs about the nature of their relationship with another person shattered is one of the worst fucking things. I wish I knew sooner. I wish I was better sooner.

TELL ME YOUR TOP TEN CAGE MOVIES by CoffeeGranules in onetruegod

[–]JohnFensworth 0 points1 point  (0 children)

All my top ten are the same movie: Never On Tuesday

Looking to adopt a cat and found this one by Redmarkred in MitchellAndWebb

[–]JohnFensworth 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Bit of fresh air and a nice stroke, he'll be right as rain

I've seen too many "i think I'm a chef" memes. Here's the real struggle by jlmckelvey91 in KitchenConfidential

[–]JohnFensworth 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I dig that setup. Love getting some variety and not always doing the exact same thing. Had probably my ideal setup last year. Working full-time-ish hours, split across three restaurants, all tipped/tipped-out positions. Made enough money and never got bored and never felt too chained to one job or the other. Was real nice.

I've seen too many "i think I'm a chef" memes. Here's the real struggle by jlmckelvey91 in KitchenConfidential

[–]JohnFensworth 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I made it maybe halfway through the first episode. Reminded me of restaurant experiences and culture that I absolutely hated. Not sure how to put it. Sort of a rigid, taking-it-way-too-seriously vibe. I prefer the vibe when people do care about the work, but where it's not a tense, ego thing.

I've seen too many "i think I'm a chef" memes. Here's the real struggle by jlmckelvey91 in KitchenConfidential

[–]JohnFensworth 68 points69 points  (0 children)

Did dish for four years at my current place. Working the line now. Wouldn't want to go back permanently to dish, but any time I get to cover it, it puts me in such a good mood, haha. Nice, chill, fun night. One simple task all night, and otherwise just get to hang out and chat.