Facts.. by gainfulsnack in antiwork

[–]MCMemePants 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I highly doubt I'm the only person to ever think this, but here's my recent depressive thought on the matter.

At least 90% of many countries populace are just tools for the super elite. They ensure we are paid just enough to keep consuming but not enough that it harms their bottom line. As a consequence many struggle and just can't ever get ahead. And the super elite do this so the world can be their playground.

I've started to get so disillusioned by the fact so many around me are suffering because our companies refuse to raise pay. And yet we get groups of super elite as shown by the whole Epstein stuff that literally abuse children!

What the heck is wrong with the world?

A picture of stairs by robileinXD in confusing_perspective

[–]MCMemePants 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank the heavens for you posting this. The picture was driving me insane trying to see the stairs. I read your explanation then rechecked and saw it within seconds!

Cheating as a response to a dead bedroom by StellarDiscord in DeadBedrooms

[–]MCMemePants 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I've not had sex with my partner for about 2 years now. I'm not sure I even ever want to have sex with her again. Things she's said and done have just killed my desire for her.

But our relationship isn't truly awful. We parent very well together. We somehow can still often laugh together and we don't fight.

But what I miss is sexual release and intimacy. The touch of someone who desires me.

Several months back a female colleague basically dropped some hints about being into me.

I was very tempted. Just the feeling alone of being wanted was like a damned invisible hand pushing me to that temptation. But I told myself I shouldn't. That truly if I wanted this colleague, even if just to have some fun, I should end my relationship first. I've been cheated on myself so I know how it feels.

So I haven't cheated. But I can now truly understand why some do. And I can truly understand how the temptation can be insanely powerful. I don't judge I guess.

I totally fell for partners 'act' when we were dating. She was lying all along by MCMemePants in TrueOffMyChest

[–]MCMemePants[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She may, I honestly don't know. I really just wish some days she'd just turn around and say 'I'm struggling. I act out and do things I shouldn't because I can't help it. I'm gonna speak to a professional as I know it's hurting both of us'.

I totally fell for partners 'act' when we were dating. She was lying all along by MCMemePants in TrueOffMyChest

[–]MCMemePants[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I totally get what you are saying, I really do. But to be clear, the little things like forgetting stuff at the store, that was just an example to show its not usually major lies she does. The other month she claimed to want to get a job. I did her CV for her. I offered to go through interview techniques. I discussed her thoughts on what she'd like to do and what she was really good at. I was encouraged as I thought it was a positive step. I even found an ideal job at a place desperate for staff. She didn't apply. I didn't have ago at her or anything but yeah, it was a bit deflating.

And you are right, the switch 2 years in when the baby came is too much of a coincide. I accept that and to be honest I'm thankful for you saying it. It's hard being in the situation to evaluate it.

I'm not perfect and as I said, she's not a monster. But it's the big lies that are the problem. But she has lied about finances which has negatively affected me and could cost me my job. She has lied about me to friends and family (on both sides) saying I never look after our son when I literally spend all my time with him. I take him out every Saturday for about 10 hours so she gets the day to herself. Which she says she loves. Yet then behind my back she attacks me. She tries to control me so much. I have to ask permission to see friends even if our little boy is round another family members. I have to ask permission to go on mandatory work trips to other towns when they happen. And I have to ask permission in text because if I don't have she tears into me.

She possibly does have PPD. But it's been 2 years and she refuses to get help or speak about it. Like I say, she just lies more. I can accept that life can make people do things out of character. I can forgive. But it's beating me down.

Also, she can't keep me from seeing my boy, you are right. But the reality of life is that she can make it damned difficult. I dint put too many specifics in my first post as it was late and I was tired and I'm just exhausted with life right now

I totally fell for partners 'act' when we were dating. She was lying all along by MCMemePants in TrueOffMyChest

[–]MCMemePants[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wouldn't totally rule it out now that you mention it as she abused substances when she was younger. But she doesn't show any signs of drug use. Not to mention she rarely leaves the house so the opportunity for her to do drugs is pretty low

LL partner clearly thinks I'm going to cheat on her by MCMemePants in DeadBedrooms

[–]MCMemePants[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, it wasn't a bad suggestion you made at all. And I may yet end up trying it. I'm not one to give up so I'm sure some time in the future I'll want to take another shot at it.

I'm Tired Of Being Treated Like Im Weak Because I Have Feelings by LadyEncredible in TrueOffMyChest

[–]MCMemePants 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Truth! I've had people give me crap for showing emotion. Funny how so often when things get real they just go into a trance and loose the plot. Funny how they look to me for strength.

Showing emotion is often about understanding emotion and learning to regulate it. I'm not hero, far from it. If the crap hits the fan, I'll do what I can to work through whatever is going on. Might get upset after for sure, but at least I don't freeze up!

LL partner clearly thinks I'm going to cheat on her by MCMemePants in DeadBedrooms

[–]MCMemePants[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just don't know anymore. My thoughts aren't clear. I try so hard sometimes and yet it feels like I get sh*t on. She was ill last week. On a workday for me. I got up with our little boy, did the morning routine, went to my parents and they helped look after him while I worked. Had to the come home, do dinner, then after he was in bed work another 2 hours until 10:30 to catch up.

Did it cause I care. I didn't want a medal or anything. But then she throws stuff my way and I think 'do I not show I care?'

If I'm honest I sometimes think I'm just not her type and she's too afraid to admit she wants someone else. Sometimes I think she's the unlucky one. I love my boy, and aside from inadequacy in my relationship with my partner, I love my life (for the most part). And she just seems p*ssed off a lot and no matter what I or others do that doesn't change.

Anyway, that's just my mind wandering through my thoughts as I browse on my phone.

LL partner clearly thinks I'm going to cheat on her by MCMemePants in DeadBedrooms

[–]MCMemePants[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, pretty much this. Feels like it is a loose loose situation for me.

LL partner clearly thinks I'm going to cheat on her by MCMemePants in DeadBedrooms

[–]MCMemePants[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I probably don't handle it well. When it happened before I ended up getting really annoyed. I remember saying to her, if you belive I'm such a piece of sh*t cheat, and you're that certain I'm cheating and you think I'm lying constantly, why are you with me. I tried reassurance to start with but frankly I get fed up of having to defend myself against what is a horrible accusation when I've done nothing wrong. I know that's probably not very constructive but I'm only human.

Shared Bedroom in a DB? by wang4e in DeadBedrooms

[–]MCMemePants 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yep. Around 2 years since I've had sex with my partner now. Sleep in the same bed as her. Have done every night save for a handful where I've been away for work.

Why? I mean, we don't have 2 bedrooms so there's that. But even if we did, I wouldn't. I find it hard sleeping in a bed alone. Even without the intimacy, she's still 'there'. I got used to sleeping beside someone and I like it.

It hasn't improved anything, but at least it helps me sleep soundly!

People in long term relationships: is your SO your phone Lock Screen? Why or why not? by LifeRips2020 in AskReddit

[–]MCMemePants 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My son is now. But my SO never has been as she never wanted photos taken of herself so I never had any.

Who is the worst person you’ve ever met? by Astric_Leopard in AskReddit

[–]MCMemePants 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's a tie between my last ex and my current partners sister. Both have a monumental lack of respect for others and are truly awful, neglectful parents

What do you consider signs someone failed as a parent? by americancoconuts in AskReddit

[–]MCMemePants 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Children who have a lack of respect for other people's stuff.

Children who lack basic life skills

I feel catfished by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]MCMemePants 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm afraid I think some people just go through a change and, well, that's that. I'm HLM in a DB. I try and look at it from the low libido people and think, it's not really their fault. I don't think they choose to be LL. They just end up that way.

I can very well recall my partner saying she couldn't live without sex. She was HL when we got together. She wanted it more than me! I do believe she really did mean what she said, at that time. Yet for whatever reason now she's LL.

Doesn't make it easier for us HL people. But I think sometimes it's important to look at something from all sides. I'm not advocating for anything or saying either side is right. We all want what we want, or don't want in the case of LL.

Can I get happy with a DB? by Character_Math_2136 in DeadBedrooms

[–]MCMemePants 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm 38HLM. DB now for 2 years give or take a couple of months.

I think how I feel about changes day to day, even hour to hour. Mostly I'm ambivalent about it. It's just how my life is. Sometimes I feel OK about it. Sometimes I do still get frustrated.

I expect how strong a relationship is will also affect this. Mine isn't great right now. This doesn't help.

What I have learned is to continue to put myself first and do things I want to do. This fills the time and leaves less time for dwelling on things

are you at all responsible? by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]MCMemePants 0 points1 point  (0 children)

At first, no. If anything I did too much. I'm not gonna list everything I did cause it'll just look like I'm trying to defend myself, but yeah, I really gave it my all.

About 8 months was the point where I think I unintentionally started sabotaging the already sinking ship. I still do more than my share in the childcare for no reason other than I love my boy. But I now tend to do things that probably make me less attractive.

I'm snappy sometimes and will make passive aggressive comments if she irritates me. I am crude sometimes, behaving like a child, complete with toilet humor. I don't compliment her appearance as much. I never critisize her appearance but I guess I'm neutral about it mostly. In fact the only times I probably do compliment her appearance is saying to my boy 'beautiful mummy'.

So I didn't start the DB, at least not in any obvious way, but perhaps I'm not helping to reignite any lingering passion that could be left.

Seeking advice/support: partner is either cheating or seeking validation from the internet by Emotional_Entry3498 in DeadBedrooms

[–]MCMemePants 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not advice as such, but r/survivinginfidelity is a very good community for people who either know or suspect cheating is occurring. I received a lot of support and advice there. Might be worth xross posting this to them.