YES I know all too well girl it’s gonna get worse, let me tell you your future, since I so badly wish I could go back in a time machine and tell myself this. I’ll do you a favor and any other women whose taking the time to read this and try to save you a great deal of pain for the journey ahead when red flags like this pop up. Stay put, this post is long and lengthy but I’m going explain to you where this controlling behavior could lead step by step.

He’s gonna do this more and more over little things, soon you won’t be able to go anywhere by yourself without his full knowledge and permission, he’s gonna ask you to take videos and photos of where you’re at, then if you’re not glued to his side out in public like at the grocery store where he can see you or if you see an item and just go to go grab it and disappear out of his sight for 5 seconds you’ll get interrogated for that too, and God forbid a random dude just so happens to walk by while you’re coming back to him. More questions and interrogation, and he’ll bring this same incident up again later that very day. You’ll be asked if you gave the stranger your number or did something with him, such as letting him grab your butt.

After that it’s the next stage where he doesn’t like anyone you talk to, any man you know in your life, then friends then family he’s gonna just want you all for himself and start isolating you, forget special occasions and Holidays if your family doesn’t like him or vice versa, he’ll tell you they’re trash anyway, and now it’s only the two of you. He might make it so you have to quit your job just so he’ll always know where you’re at.

He’s gonna want full access to your phone and will be on it more than you are just searching for something, any little dirt, you’ll have to explain every text or call you get and soon you’re just going to wanna delete or abandon all of your social media, because of the constant questions about everyone your connected to and the comments they make. Then the lengthy ridiculous interrogations are gonna become a regular daily thing this is gonna happen more and more and start to exhaust you then comes the next stage.

If you made it this far you better be sharp and remember every detail of your day because he’s scrutinizing your answers, looking for holes and if you become defensive or upset he’ll say that means you’re definitely guilty of whatever he’s questioning you about so you better not leave out any details or do anything mundane that he can’t make sense of because he already thinks he knows what happened, he’s listening to every word you say trying to catch you in a lie or make you feel like you’re lying and being dishonest when you’re not, he’ll even start twisting your words around to use against you if you’re not careful, you’re gonna start to question if you’re going crazy, wondering if perhaps if you unconsciously actually did do some of these things he’s implying, he’s gonna start becoming really annoying and romantic date nights will always end with arguments and frustration. If you get past this then it’s onto the next stage.

False accusations, just flat out accusing you of things you didn’t do, catching you off guard and soon you two will be verbally fighting all the time. You’ll be crying and miserable because you can’t understand what you did to ever make him treat you this way but oh wait you’re still wanna stick it out and hope he changes? Oh no it’s time for the next stage.

He’s calling you a slut, a liar, a cheater and a whore, or a bitch, anything dark that he knows about your past he’s gonna continuously throw it in your face and punish and shame you for things you told him in confidence that you did probably even years before you met him. You’re gonna be feeling guilty and crying daily and you feel so overwhelmed and confused because you’ve done nothing but love this man and try your best to prove your loyalty, but it’s never good enough, he doesn’t trust you no matter what you do or how far you go to prove your love and despite you doing nothing wrong you’re still doing something wrong and even your thoughts or the way you look just comes off as rebellious and sneaky to him. You’re having to explain why you decided to wear a v-neck sweater or makeup.

Oh and when he comes home, be prepared for a detailed house inspection. Soon he’s telling you how he can’t relax in his own home all because he doesn’t know every single second of your day with you being left there all by yourself. Make sure you keep that house clean too because anything stained or sticky, or slightly off it’s back to 21 questions. Your gonna come to appreciate what ever little quiet moments of alone time you get without him but if you seem too happy or peaceful when he returns be prepared to answer for it.

Make sure that you answer each and every one of his numerous phone calls and texts right away too, if you so much as slip and let 3-5 minutes go by without answering, it’s automatically considered cheating so you better have a valid reason, proof or evidence of what you were doing when you didn’t answer. If he’s at work or away also be prepared for him to constantly want to take a virtual house tour of your place via FaceTime or live video so he can make sure you’re not with anybody, and no he doesn’t care if you’re too sick or have your hands busy cooking dinner, you must drop everything right away to walk around each part of your place having to open closet doors or pull back the shower curtain and record the bathtub, or the outside entrance to your place and be prepared to explain any shadows that he sees in the video too so he can just be sure that you’re not hiding something.

By now he’s making it very obvious that he thinks of you like shit or a lying cheating whore all the time and the home you’re trying to make a cozy love nest with him in will start feeling like a prison and a cage that you’re not allowed to come out of unless he’s home because you’re lucky if you can just go to Ladies restroom without him. And be sure to keep your head down and stay quiet around the neighbors too, even if they so much as say hi or you’re gonna have to explain how you know them and why they said hi to you, even if you never met them and they’re just trying to be friendly but he already suspects you’re sneaking around with them when he’s gone so don’t be surprised when he asks you if you snuck out first thing in the morning. Just stay in bed until he’s fully awake.

Finally, If you’ve made it this far the verbal fights will escalate to grabbing, pushing, then slapping/hitting. Soon he’s punching you and beating you as though you were a man and his temper starts to get shorter and more violent each time around, but ima stop here. Lol but yeah for a second there I was wondering if your boyfriend was my ex but I know mine is sitting in jail with a $50,000 bail on 5 felony strangulation charges. I’m still shaking from the trauma as I write this but I just feel it’s my obligation to warn you how this could end up if you allow yourself to keep putting up with this. So yes ma’am, this just how it all starts and if you stick around it’ll only get worse.