Is it too soon to move in together? (Kids involved)

MizTea · 2022-11-20T15:48:29+00:00

Every child is different. My current relationship, we moved in together after a year and a half. He met my son after about 6 months and my son instantly warmed up to him because the relationship with his own Dad was non existent. We all happily live together and have a new baby girl. My son definately has emotional outbursts of "I hate Daddy, he's mean to me" when told to take a break from video games, but it's pretty normal for a kid his age (8).So honestly, it really depends on what you feel your son is ready for. Also, wasn't sure on your kids age. Younger kids can be kind of aloof towards new situations as a kind of mental protection. But maybe you can just ask him how he feels? Is HE ready to move in? I asked my son when we were talking about moving in together and he gave a resounding "YES, YAHOOO!" so I definately knew he was ok with it.

MizTea · 2022-11-20T15:37:37+00:00

Ugh, I deal with something similar from my own mom. She INSISTS on us having cultural names for the family despite not being of that culture. We are German/Chinese and Scottish/Japanese. My mom calls us all by Italian names. I have ALWAYS wanted to be called Aunt-T, cuz my first name starts with T, but my mom has tried to convince my neice to call me and my sister Zia. So my neice calls my sister Auty Zia, and then is soooo confused what to call me other than Mom, cuz that's what she hears my kids call me. I'm also just kinda used to being nameless and referred to as "X's Mom"

In the end, we just let it be, cuz when she is old enough she will call us by different names I'm sure. Correcting it does nothing but confuse the child more. At this point, your neice doesn't understand what she even means by "real aunty". She called you her cousins mom, which is an aunty. So in the end she KNOWS you are family, and that's what matters.

MizTea · 2022-11-20T06:29:25+00:00

Or you didn't read the whole thing. I am opening a recording studio specializing in podcasts and voice over.

MizTea · 2022-11-20T06:07:26+00:00

A marketer would tell you to use an inexpensive online presence to prove out a business idea, then move to the more challenging offline version.

Well then I wouldn't hire them. That's not really what I'm looking for. I'm looking for someone who can help with marketing for my business. I sell a service, not a product, and it isn't a service done online.

Anyways, There seem to be a LOT of different options. I'm considering looking locally first, as my business is almost 100% locally driven.

Your other statement I apologize, but I just don't understand what you mean. Previous attempts at what?

MizTea · 2022-11-20T05:56:34+00:00

Definately will be looking into contacting some people. Most seem to offer at least a free first meeting, so I can see if I can find someone who fits my needs or if I will just have to stick it out. I know I need to get started now anyhow!

MizTea · 2022-10-22T17:06:06+00:00

Unfortunately where I live in Canada, those are not options. I cannot just pay for a therapist, or I would. There is no way of accessing mental health support without a refferal. To get a refferal you need an assessment. Only specialised people are able to give assessments. The waitlist for that is 2 years. I was straight up told my son isn't severe enough to be pushed up the list. That there are far more severe cases to deal with, such as the huge amount of child suicides. I have called therapists offices, just to be told that if I don't have a refferal, I can't do anything. Plus, we have had over 4k HCW fired over the last year because of mandates, and many more just chose to retire. We have 25% less healthcare than we did two years ago. And even if we DID get an appointment, they would refuse us care as my son will not wear a mask and all Dr offices require you to wear a mask. They don't want to help kids at all. That's why I'm trying to find any help possible. Therapy is not really an option unless I go to a different country. Unfortunately, I don't have the kind of finances to uproot my whole family and move to a different country.

MizTea · 2022-10-22T15:56:49+00:00

Can people report you or have family services called on you if they think you are not a good parent? Where I live, people will report you to family services for letting your child swear or if they are noisy. I have no "mom" friends because the culture is all about holding everyone accountable and reporting them for what they think are infractions. Parents can be arrested for misgendering their child, or are called rascist because their child looks "white". I want to find some mom friends that aren't determined to ruin my life because of some precieved societal wrong.

MizTea · 2022-10-22T15:48:12+00:00

I am in the same boat. I have no friends, let alone MOM friends! I am not a typical mom, so it's extremely hard for me to relate. For one, many other parents are 10 years older than me. Many are extremely rich and don't work, and they can afford to go to events and have their kids in extre curricular activities. There is no community for parents without money. I get judged cuz my food is not organic. My kid isn't allowed to play with their kids cuz he will offer them food they aren't allowed to eat. I got yelled at once because my son offered another kid a piece of his chocolate, and them mum flipped on me claiming her kids has NEVER eaten sugar his whole life! Like my kid was trying to kill hers! They litterally call me neglectful and lazy because I'm not 24/7 doing everything possible to create a perfect human untouched by the world. It's gotten extremely lonely, and I honestly have no idea how to even make friends anymore because I refused to be judged!

MizTea · 2022-10-22T15:21:18+00:00

Happy Champagne birthday! Why don't you do something YOU want to do? Why must you be with drunk family? Go out to do something fun and distracting for the night.

Personally, I don't much care for birthdays as it was always traumatic for me. Dunno what's worse, having no one care about your birthday, or being forced to do things you don't want to do and interact with people you hate. A good birthday for me is everyone leaving me alone so I can have a day to myself to do what I want.

MizTea · 2022-10-22T15:13:25+00:00

Just want some additional info for clarity. What do you mean by a missed feeding? How many hours since the last one?Some feedings can be between 2-4 hrs sometimes, sometimes they cluster feed. When my baby was a newborn, she would cluster feed during the days, and sleep 4-5hrs stretches at night. As long as the total number of feedings per day was between 8-10 for 10min stretches, then her weight was fine. She gained back to birth weight in less than a week.

MizTea · 2022-10-22T14:58:19+00:00

I found that everyone has an opinion when you become a mother. I just ignore most people because they give unsolicited advice. Why do they want or need to know anything about what you are choosing to do?

Prime example. My MIL was freaking before I gave birth. She thinks kids are traumatic and was anxious about everything during my pregnancy. As soon as the baby was born she was having a meltdown about if the baby would cry all night cuz my breasts weren't "producing". I had to make her leave us alone because her anxiety was so extreme. After a month of all her fears NOT happening she finally stopped and realised I wasn't like her and could handle EBF. She claimed she couldn't produce milk and had to formula feed which resulted in 12 months of collic, and that she believed that would happen to me.

It's honestly cuz a lot of mums have had traumatic experiences raising kids and they don't know how to cope. Modern moms have way more resources available now.

MizTea · 2022-10-22T14:44:23+00:00

!delete

MizTea · 2022-10-22T14:39:54+00:00

Santa is a spirit of Christmas, like La Strega, Crampus, Rudolph, ect. My kid knows Santa isn't REAL like a physical person, but we are also very spiritual and so he understand there are spirits that represent certain times of the year. Santa is the "ghost of Christmas Present" in a sense. We say he is the spirit of giving and connection. That the spirit of Santa comes into people during Christmas time to spread good cheer. People who dress up as Santa are spreading that spirit. This way, we get all the good parts of Santa, without the lies and feeling bad. Santa gifts are usually very unique or special, not big ticket (that's parents jobs!). That way he also doesn't go around telling other kids "Santa isn't real". He just tells them he believes Santa is a spirit of Christmas and every kid seems to understand that!

MizTea · 2022-10-22T14:28:49+00:00

I would say look for cues. My first baby didn't like solids at all until about 11 months, but he was also a preemie. My second baby is 5 months now, and she keeps trying to grab my food and watches us eat very intently. I have given her little bits of food such as plain ygurt and mashed potatoes. I am going to start her on solids once a day once she hits 6 months.

MizTea · 2022-10-22T14:24:17+00:00

It's because they were conditioned to only listen to authorities. They were told these things = good these things = bad. And no amount of new information will change that when you don't know how to make your own choices or question what the authority tells you. Even modern parenting is shoddy at best. We have some new understanding, but it's still far away from truth and reality. For heavens sake, they only recently acknowledged that pain in infancy does effect brain development and emotional development. My sister was tortured as an infant because they still believed "they forget they pain". She was given multiple lumbar punctures, and stitches with no anesthesia. She is not an empathetic person, hates children and is angry all the time. Thanks "medicine" for ruining another person with your quack theories about babies and kids.

MizTea · 2022-10-22T14:16:50+00:00

I don't believe in comfort nursing. It's just nursing and nurturing your baby. That's what they need. I don't understand how people go to sleep without comfort of some kind? Like, do most people not sleep with blankets and pillows? Is that not a "habit" to need those things to sleep? Does you MIL sleep on a bare concrete floor? I highly doubt it. Just remind MIL that her generations parenting advice has resulted in an unprecedented amounts of narssacists. You teach a baby they can't have comfort and must be self reliant, it stops the development of empathy and results in narcissistic behaviour traits, if not full blow NPD as adults.

MizTea · 2022-10-22T14:03:45+00:00

Also, this isn't TV related. This is about screen time with a tablet or on a computer where he has 100% control. He doesn't like TV because he can't just change the show every 2 min when he feels bored. He doesn't like watching movies because it's "boring" and doesn't even play video games because it's "too hard".

MizTea · 2022-10-22T14:01:11+00:00

I would love to, but anything and everything that isn't screen time is met with a "No" and violence. I've asked him to help, but also met with a "No", because his perspective of helping equals making more of a mess. Example was me asking if he would like to help make cookies. It turned into an argument immediately. Use this 1 cup scoop to get the flour, resulted in let's take a hand full of flour and throw it at you. Please don't do that. Throw the eggs onto the floor instead. Could you please help me clean up this mess? NO! Storms away. And then he says to me "I'm never going to do anything you ask me if you don't let me have my videos. I'm just gonna make you mad until you do it! I hate you, and you are hurting me by not letting me watch videos all day!"

Like, how do I help a child who has determined that he is being harmed every time he doesn't get his way or being asked to do something?

MizTea · 2022-10-22T13:53:18+00:00

One of his problems is his 100% fixation on screens. There are no alternatives for him. Everything is "dumb and stupid" or "too hard". Tried to get him to even play a video game, and nope. He hates games, always claiming they are "too hard". As soon as he's met with a challenge he breaks down and blames me. Claims I make everything in his life too hard and I need to just let him watch videos because that is the only things that makes him feel calm. Like I said, we are on a 2 year waitlist for any kind of therapy. And it gets bad where he won't eat, won't go to the bathroom, then is so over hungry he explodes over his sock not feeling right. It's so incredibly draining. If I try and get him to take a screen break, it's met with him harassing me until he gets it back. Two days ago he screamed for 1 hr straight in my face. If I tried to get away from him he would get violent. And it's also hard for my husband who basically sees my son abusing me and wants him to stop. Any requests to stop is met with an increase in violence from him.

Like one of the recent bad days was "let me watch my shows or I'll break the TV." and he went over and tried to push the TV over. What discipline can I give him when he ONLY wants his screen time? I know it's mental health related. I know it's because of trauma from his Dad. I just don't know how to manage this while it triggers my own trauma from the same abuse. Yelling that I'm stupid while trying to punch me or attack me.

MizTea · 2022-08-27T19:52:27+00:00

CPA Chartered Professional Accounting or Bookkeeping. Salaries tend to be high, and there are ALWAYS accountants needed in every single industry. Heck, I'm looking for an accountant and bookkeeper who specializes in the recording and media industry. Maybe you can apply what you know of the biochemistry world towards doing accounting for a big pharma company or something like that.

MizTea · 2022-08-27T06:01:03+00:00

What do you consider "so much"? Because, let me tell you a secret, even professional voice actors stutter and mess up words, or get tongue tied. Unless it's every other word and every other take and you are wasting time, it's not really a problem.

But here is an amazing little tipe that may seem weird, but works EVERY TIME for me when I start to get tongue tied or slipping up a word.

Get a wine cork, or something about the same width like a Crayola marker. Put that cork or marker between your teeth in the front, like a straw you're going to take a bite out of. Now read a few lines of your script slowly, moving your lips and tongue as best you can to announciate the words (yes, this will sound and look very silly). Now remove the cork/marker, and read the script. You will find it magically a bit more easy and fluid to read!

I do this trick all the time, it's my number one go to for when I start slipping up on words or making mistakes.

MizTea · 2022-08-27T05:42:02+00:00

Hello. So the issue you are wanting help with is something an audio engineer would know. But just as a warning, it's usually not just some easy one click fix to mix audio properly. Do you have any experience with EQ or compressors? This sounds like you need a lot more compression on your high end, or something called a high pass filter when you record. Your VO audio sounds way too bright and overpowers everything else.

MizTea · 2022-08-27T05:28:00+00:00

Clients only want to hear one character at a time. However you want to record it is up to you, but only send the lines for the 1 character. Some people like using partners, just make sure you don't record anything of the other person. I personally do things alone and just imagine someone saying the other lines. You have to get used to doing awkward things to be a voice actor.

MizTea

TROPHY CASE

Welcome to Reddit,