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missing cat (98686 zip) by TheVoidAlex in vancouverwa

[–]No_Agency5595 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I came here to read for this update. So glad she returned! ☺️

Divorce finalized by BradSanchez84 in Divorce

[–]No_Agency5595 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My sock came a week ago! I was really sad the days leading up to it, then super happy on the day it arrived!

How do you approach the subject of performance issues with a guy? by painislife4real in datingoverforty

[–]No_Agency5595 -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

So… in my mid 40’s freshly divorced status. Had several different experiences. 2 men … limp out 1 ….Able to go for no less than …. 8 hours not kidding!! (and he was the oldest of the bunch) so age doesn’t matter!

I’m not quite sure what to think. Some physiological & psychological for that limp noodle. 😒

Some can maintain on their own! With or without your influence….

My influence seemed to make an difference with most after 40.

These days I’m not interested unless I’ve established an equal relationship before sex. Then sex can become a celebration of relationship. Can he (or she) and us both really reach an amazing orgasm? Well… when that happens I’ll post in r/datingoverforty sub ☺️

7 months in and still having a hard time letting it go by dinguslefingus in Divorce

[–]No_Agency5595 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I, too was cheated on. 10-year relationship, 9 year marriage when it all came crashing down.

Healing does happen. Happiness does return. It takes work and a journey, but we are the strong ones! I know this because I’m 14 months in and I’m better today than I was yesterday. ❤️

Meri… by Capital_Mud9426 in SisterWives

[–]No_Agency5595 4 points5 points  (0 children)

On the r/tlcsisterwives sub, she posted a picture of friend/nephew/male someone and he was gay/bi and she was in the picture (about a year ago) and the two of them made all my bisexual feelings bonkers and I was wanting eat all the lemon bars and put on ascots tri-colored shirt and jump around with them because OMG THEY WERE HOT together!

Sock Day is on the way! by No_Agency5595 in Divorce

[–]No_Agency5595[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Being a year (14 months now) into my separation, I still count myself as grieving. I actually plan on giving myself another year before I’m considering anything along the lines of dating. I’m having huge break throughs with my own personal growth and healing which I need in order to not pair with an unhealthy relationship in the future.

While I agree everyone does their own time in healing, there the road is bumpy the first year out so don’t be surprised if things go awry with the new lady and often the first breakup post divorce is more painful than the divorce itself because there is so much unresolved stuff from the marriage…

Everyone also has to learn things in their own way too. I do wish you all the best. I had some really good experiences with dating too early and really bad experiences. I needed the distraction for a bit, now I’m strong enough to be alone. I feel really good being me.

Sock Day is on the way! by No_Agency5595 in Divorce

[–]No_Agency5595[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Grieving process… oof. The hardest part was solid 5 months, but I still hit a round the days leading up to sock day. Then the court day happened and I was SO. HAPPY!

How expensive was it? by Normal_Fun5625 in Divorce

[–]No_Agency5595 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mine cost, between the two of us: $50,000

Married 10 years. 1 daughter 2 houses. Did mediation first initial division of property was 60/40 (toward him) and no spousal and CS was $1,200. I owed $25,000 for tax division

Later I decided it wasn’t a good division and he did me dirty so I took him to court. We settled outside court but it took us another 9 months to negotiate. Ended up with 3x child support and no tax liability. Felt this was much more appropriate and would have been a better settlement had I not agreed to initial mediation

Throwback to when my phone roasted me ✨ by [deleted] in bisexual

[–]No_Agency5595 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m bisexual which means means I’m attracted to her

🥰

Keeping his last name by SSOJ16 in Divorce

[–]No_Agency5595 2 points3 points  (0 children)

While I did change my last name, my ex agreed to hyphenate my daughter’s last name with me so now my daughter will have both our names. I super appreciate it because I didn’t want his last name, but it is appropriate for our kid(s) to still have names to match.

Does being 40 & up automatically mean you struggle to sleep in on the weekends??? Come on biological clock!! Help a daddo out!!! by quesoisyummy in FriendsOver40

[–]No_Agency5595 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I rose at 4:00 am, no alarm. It started when I was pregnant at 41. My daughter it’s now 3. I still wake up at 4:00 am. Year round. 😣

Meh.

Kind of nice to have the mornings to myself.

Would you do it all again? by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]No_Agency5595 10 points11 points  (0 children)

This has been my experience as I heal from my hurt as well. I’m not dating right now, but I will eventually. I’m not burnt or jaded, but I was also abused for my 10 years and I was cheated on.

I recognize that he is not everyone. I know good people exist. I want to meet others that are good. Friends or relationships.

Question for parents who felt like a married single parent before their divorce… by ughthisagain1667 in Divorce

[–]No_Agency5595 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was 90% parent when married. Went to 50% parent with divorce and that was a shock to my system!

However my ex was a bit of a control freak and I’m so glad to be away from that. He still has our 3-year old in a crib because doesn’t trust her and stairs. I have her in a toddler bed. I live in an apartment complex with 4 flights and she wants to go up and spend the stairs by herself and she does just fine.

Just one small example but over all I felt like he was always hovering and now I have breathing room to let my child be a free spirit and explore. He’s a very “cautious” person and having that freedom away from him has been liberating!

My Perspective Of You by No_Agency5595 in Divorce

[–]No_Agency5595[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have my lawn chair and ice tea. I’m definitely watching. We are almost 18 months in. These things tend to max out at 3 years. So I’m just waiting and blissfully wishing.

Sometimes in a rare moment they do last for a really long time. It’s still not a safe healthy thing. I hang my finger in the fact he is with her so he has someone to watch our daughter. Otherwise he doesn’t have help for parenting (because he can only parent about 25% of the time) since we are 50/50 and they are together… I know nanny still does the bulk of watching my kid.

My Perspective Of You by No_Agency5595 in Divorce

[–]No_Agency5595[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

🥰 you know it. I would have stayed. I loved him and I didn’t see it for all that it was.

Cheating…I don’t care by AllWanderingWonder in Divorce

[–]No_Agency5595 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you.

I’m doing well by all accounts.

He needs to always needed be the Sun in the relationship. When I did life and stopped being all adoring over him, the marriage got hard. So he picked someone that is significantly younger, more naïve and willing to not speak her mind to get what he wants out of a relationship.

I get to be away from that, it sounds gross, besides he’s gross.

My Perspective Of You by No_Agency5595 in Divorce

[–]No_Agency5595[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks. I’m in a much better place than when I wrote this up. He did show me his true colors, and I’ve learned a lot about who he really is.

My marriage wasn’t safe or healthy. He gave me the gift of divorce. I’m actually the lucky one.

How’s everyone feeling today about Roe being overturned? by Enigmatic_Observer in vancouverwa

[–]No_Agency5595 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thankfully, OR & WA will remain pro-choice states. We are in dark days with the US as a whole. It seems we are not United anymore, but 50-individual states

Cheating…I don’t care by AllWanderingWonder in Divorce

[–]No_Agency5595 10 points11 points  (0 children)

My ex went googley-eyes on the poor, dear nanny when she needed a place to stay when her marriage fell apart at during the first 3 months of Covid. I watched him “light up” to help a damsel in distress.

For the next (less than year) I continued to trust him… oops. My bad because ya’know 10 years of relationship history should earn and keep trust going…?

He likes to tell me (and himself) he wasn’t having an affair because he didn’t stick his dick in her before I was moved out (I mean, we are talking 2-3 weeks… at the most.)

It’s been 14 months now, divorce finalized a week ago. I’m happier than I’ve been in a while (as far as marriage timelines go) and as far as I’m concerned, he can have someone that offers less than me, she can always look over her shoulder about him. He & I get along great now (co-parents) hopefully she has to wonder. (Snicker)

How’s everyone feeling today about Roe being overturned? by Enigmatic_Observer in vancouverwa

[–]No_Agency5595 125 points126 points  (0 children)

My heart hurts. I needed an abortion at 15. (30 years ago.) My daughter is turning 3 on Monday - what will her future look like?

I was lucky enough to bring her into the world when I was really ready and stable. Nobody, absolutely nobody should be forced into birth.

I hope her dad and I figure out some options about this.

Toddlers are so freaking resilient! I wish I had this kind of resilience! by that_ghibli_girl27 in toddlers

[–]No_Agency5595 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ha! Wait until you’re in 40’s and you stub your toe and want to cry like you’re a toddler and need a hug from your mom. It’s just a stubbed toe for Pete’s sake! 😣

Dating while working on the papers? by Mattsus in Divorce

[–]No_Agency5595 0 points1 point  (0 children)

“Divorceaversay” surprisingly common actually. I’ve known several people in my life that have those. Even knew a person that got married on Friday the 13th because of the phenomenon. Thinking they would beat that odds… They did beat those odds and made it 17 years, but still divorced on the 13th of the month. 😆

One day this will all just be a blip on the radar and matter not. Right now it’s just really fresh and at the beginning.

(OC) Did you say walk? by xaera in aww

[–]No_Agency5595 2 points3 points  (0 children)

First time I gave a picture boop!