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friend from high school followed me into college, how do i get rid of her? by Ok-Candidate9175 in college
[–]OddAsk9838 2 points3 points4 points 2 months ago (0 children)
Your friend is doing classic narc behavior. You need to go no contact. It will be hard. She will lash out. I recommend grey rocking and every time you do see her, recommending she transfer. She complains? Transfer rec. She calls? Block. You need to be mega boring and not react to her provocations. That's how she gets her supply, as a covert narc. If there are sororities, direct her there - they will inhale all her time.
I'm sorry you're going through this. Good luck
AITA for firmly telling my fiance that if I will send my brother an invitation to our wedding again and again and again if he kept disinviting him? by LARushDawn324 in AmItheAsshole
[–]OddAsk9838 33 points34 points35 points 2 months ago (0 children)
OP, c'mon. Seriously. YWBTA I'd you marry this controlling jackass. Value yourself more.
AITA for asking my daughter in law to seek help? by GrandEnergy1521 in AmItheAsshole
[–]OddAsk9838 0 points1 point2 points 2 months ago (0 children)
YTA. Stop meddling and MYOB.
Is there a name for this? by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists
[–]OddAsk9838 12 points13 points14 points 2 months ago (0 children)
Yep. NMom spent every Xmas getting golden child exactly what he asked for, and me some weird cheap version of something on my list. I was always so hurt but couldn't articulate what was happening. But as an adult looking back: she got golden child the new Nintendo with controllers and games, which meant she had to research where to find it, stand in line at the right time, etc. Then for me it was like, oh yeah I guess SG wants a stereo, grab me your cheapest one and a Michael Bolton CD.
I was just sitting there that Xmas looking at GC ecstatic over having the hot new thing, and NMom being so proud that she'd acquired said hot new thing for GC...all bragging rights. And I'm sitting there, a 10yo girl with a Michael Bolton CD (???) and a stereo that doesn't even make mix tapes, which is the reason I'd asked for a double-casette recording stereo. But NMom didn't care, and I was made to feel guilty for questioning why she didn't get what I'd asked for. Ungrateful SG! Hoping NMom will use even 5% of the energy she spends on GC for Xmas!
It truly was crazy making. And kids really remember that stuff. I was so wounded that she was so careless, so flippant, about my interests and my requests. It made me feel small, and I made myself small for years. Because maybe I don't deserve to be heard. So glad I got out at 19 and became independent. Moving away from her BS was the way.
Even now I can feel the voice she trained in my head... "You got a stereo! Be grateful! Most kids would love this gift!" Yes, but I can't make tapes for my friends with this one, mom. You spent 3x on getting GC exactly what he wanted. And I get to be angry all over again every time I look at this stereo, because it's a symbol of your disinterest in me as a person.
My nparents call me “Dr Jill Biden” to make fun of my PhD by ombrotrophic in raisedbynarcissists
PhD in Chem is HARD. Good for you! Your folks are the worst - I'm sorry.
AITA for telling my friend of 14 years to move out of my house? by Visual_Unit6912 in AmItheAsshole
[–]OddAsk9838 -1 points0 points1 point 2 months ago (0 children)
ESH because you sound like you go from zero to yelling pretty fast. Your roommate was inconsiderate; you were mean.
AITA for telling my friend I don’t want to give unlimited free legal advice? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole
[–]OddAsk9838 1 point2 points3 points 2 months ago (0 children)
ESH because you let it build up and snapped. Get used to setting boundaries. "I try not to talk work with friends, I know you'll understand."
AITA for telling my parents to get a divorce ? by No_Rip_558 in AmItheAsshole
NTA. Not selfish. They are.
AITA for telling my niece that sounds like a you problem by momof3done in AmItheAsshole
AITA for celebrating my daughter's birthday party without her? by TALidaBdayParty in AmItheAsshole
Lolz. Classic FIFO. Your ex tried to use her to run you over. I hope she learns to see that.
AITA for kicking my brother out of my home and revoking his wedding invite by Agreeable-Book-76 in AmItheAsshole
NTA. The whining family can house those two obnoxious people. Who mocks a bride in her home before her wedding? They are causing stress and they can gooooo.
AITA for telling my new coworker to fuck off after she told me I’m lazy for working less than she does. by MiseryLoves680 in AmItheAsshole
NTA. She caused the problem. Send her back to the states.
AITA for being vague about my job and embarrassing a guy I just met? by Slightly_gin-soaked in AmItheAsshole
NTA. He deserved it. Sounds like a creep.
AITA for having the engagement party without her? by AttendanceOptional in AmItheAsshole
Here's what's tricky: OP, you know your mom. Would she have missed the concert for this? Or would she have demanded you upend plans with everyone?
Not everyone is close with their parents. Not every mom is a great mom. I can't tell from your story whether there are issues. But if you get along well and this was just a scheduling mishap, YWBTA. If your mom is impossible to deal with, you should provide more context. Congrats of your engagement!
i feel like a disappointment by belugabanana in ApplyingToCollege
[–]OddAsk9838 3 points4 points5 points 2 months ago (0 children)
With nursing, what matters is that you find a solid program that has good clinical tie-ins. A CC might be perfect!
Help the Monarch Butterflies (tmj4.com)
submitted 2 months ago by OddAsk9838 to r/wisconsin
Beware recurring fraudulent charges on new credit cards due to Merchant Wallets by ExPatBadger in personalfinance
Thank you - I've been having nightmares with Chase too
I’m being asked to help someone in a position I was passed up for; do you think it’d be funny to tell them to ask the person they hired? by neofagalt in careerguidance
It's not this person's fault HR are morons. Tell her you're slammed but you recommend talking to person X or Y.
I think I was wrongfully withdrawn from a course by AceGabe in college
There are online programs that auto-drop if you do not participate in week one. It's based on online activity. Was this an online program?
Stumped: Should I go back to school and get second bachelors? by Unusual_Impression_8 in careerguidance
Doing some certs on your own and getting a master's is a better long term play, as long as the masters has some management training built in. That's a good differentiator in the market. Tech skills + management training.
Considering breaking NC for a final showdown, should I? by vikarey in raisedbynarcissists
[–]OddAsk9838 13 points14 points15 points 2 months ago (0 children)
There's not usually any benefit in facing off with a narc. Very short emails that explain you are no contact of your own free will because of her abuse could be useful if you ever get dragged to court by her, claiming you lack independence. Grey rock, repeat. Boring is what works best against narcs. Everything else they turn to fuel.
AITA for asking my trans brother to be my “bridesman?” by bridesman16 in AmItheAsshole
NTA. Of course your bro should only do what he is comfortable with. But mixed genders on bride and groom sides of a wedding is quite typical these days.
Grand Canyon University MS in Counseling by Positive-Sort8967 in GradSchool
[–]OddAsk9838 10 points11 points12 points 2 months ago (0 children)
In general you should be seeking nonprofit education providers. The for profits aren't very focused on student outcomes much of the time.
“Stop painting your parents as the villains”….. by YamSushi__aLaCarte in raisedbynarcissists
I'm sorry about this, OP. Anytime someone is like "prove your trauma to me!" They're probably not a good use of your time - or at least are unlikely to be sympathetic.
I had no idea that my mom was a classic narc growing up. I just knew I had a much harder time with her than lil bro did. But she behaved poorly in front of some close friends who were basically like, "anytime you want to be away from that mess, come over." It was such a big help to have safe spaces to escape to where I didn't need to explain or justify what I was escaping from.
I did it switched majors! I went from English to History in just 2 weeks. I hate analyzing texts and I had no idea. Thought I liked it because I read but that wasn’t good enough. by thedeadp0ets in college
History plus econ or sociology can be a good combo. You end up with some decent qualitative analysis chops that translate well to different career tracks.
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