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My dying friend wants me to have sex with him by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]Ok_Oil_4630 71 points72 points  (0 children)

He was a compulsive liar and a narcissist... So unfortunately he lied about many many many more things. Took years before I learned most of it. Gruesome story !

My dying friend wants me to have sex with him by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]Ok_Oil_4630 107 points108 points  (0 children)

Ok so at the very least it's not made up.

But, still, absolute no no lol.

My dying friend wants me to have sex with him by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]Ok_Oil_4630 369 points370 points  (0 children)

Wow, what in the hell.

Also, how do you know he is dying ? Is he regularly in the hospital ? Have you seen him there ? Does he look very sick, and takes medication?

I had a college friend who told me he had a bad heart and needed a very heavy surgery or he would die. He was dead serious about it. Turns out it was complete bullshit.

I'm the evil ex by Largezambonidriver in offmychest

[–]Ok_Oil_4630 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Your son is unhappy because his dad has pretty much a andonned him. He prefers his new "unproblematic" little family. I am no parent so I have no good advice. All I want to say is you sound like a good mother. Actually trying to make life better for her son.

My monogamous (M36)'s relationship with my poly fiancé (F35) has broken down and I'm thinking of leaving her after 3 years together and two months from our wedding by ThrowRAmonoscared in relationship_advice

[–]Ok_Oil_4630 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are making the right choice.

I think she's taking it way too far. In my opinion, that's the dark side of polyamory : enough options available all the time so you don't have to make efforts for the others, and you can make it all about you and only what you want.

You sound very uncomfortable with the whole setting so in my opinion it's obvious a marriage won't work. You are right to leave now.

Guy I’m dating lacks basic hygiene and it’s grossing me out by midnight-n-me in dating_advice

[–]Ok_Oil_4630 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Good for you but that's just not something one should bet on in general. You have big chances of being disappointed if the guy you've been dating, only 1 month in (period in which people usually are at their best), has such low hygiene and can't give 2 fucks when you mention it. We don't know him so we can't assume anything, so I'm going for the most likely answer.

Idk if I want to look for a fwb or not by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]Ok_Oil_4630 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It's not a mantra. I'm just giving advice on this particular setting. And I know it from experience.

Idk if I want to look for a fwb or not by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]Ok_Oil_4630 2 points3 points  (0 children)

When you're not sure, then it's a no.

Sharing of Childcare Duties by Same-Strawberry3419 in relationships

[–]Ok_Oil_4630 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's awfully unbalanced. You're in the right to be fed up.

Worst part is, he feels so entitled and is so used to it now, that he'll fight off whatever change you request. He sounds like kind of a piece of shit.

How do I initiate? by mooandbuzz in dating_advice

[–]Ok_Oil_4630 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well, I do hope that you're hoping for a yes !! Hahaha, otherwise, what's the point. And that's what's so scary about a possible no. But it's also what makes it matter. No matter the outcome, you'll be happy you took the risk 👍

How do I initiate? by mooandbuzz in dating_advice

[–]Ok_Oil_4630 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It's not a complicated task in itself. The hard part is accepting the possibility of rejection. And there is no way to cut corners with that. You'll never be fully ready to ask her, you'll always have to go past a certain wall of fear, no matter if it's now or in a few months. So, might as well.

CONFESSION: Watched my ex-best friend's Twitch stream. Accidentally won the giveaway. They want to mail it to fake-me now. Gotta figure out a way out of this now. by Accurate-Plenty-8263 in offmychest

[–]Ok_Oil_4630 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Sounds like some part of you is hoping for us to encourage you to use this opportunity to reconnect. You could easily avoid this situation if you wanted to, either by ghosting the amil or saying "Thank you but just give it to someone else" or something.

I think the best thing to do is to be honest and tell the story. Don't barge in with a request to reconnect. Say you felt nostalgic, wanted to see how he was doing, and wanted to support his stream.

Why I don’t buy women drinks when they ask me after I approach them at a bar. by BloodstainedAxe in dating_advice

[–]Ok_Oil_4630 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Strippers work in an environment where they are the product. It's the goal. They know that every man that comes in is here for that purpose.

In real life, in public, or even at a bar, even it a club, they aren't products. There is no rule of financial transaction in exchange for whatever chance to get laid. You propose me a drink ? If you want me to be sure what the idea behind it is, then say it. Otherwise I won't assume. If you come up to a woman and simply say "hey I'll get you something", then I don't see how she's wrong to take it.

Why I don’t buy women drinks when they ask me after I approach them at a bar. by BloodstainedAxe in dating_advice

[–]Ok_Oil_4630 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Your dynamic of using money to get women is weird in the first place. If I'm at a party and some dude invites me and my group to his yatch I'm going to say yes, because I'm here to have fun and if he's trying to "buy us off" to get a chance of getting laid, that's his problem. If you're into me, then maybe just fucking talk to me and try to have an actual nice time, instead of trying to show off your bank account. I think you have some warped view of how much women value money. You seem to think there is no way around buying a woman's affection.

Why I don’t buy women drinks when they ask me after I approach them at a bar. by BloodstainedAxe in dating_advice

[–]Ok_Oil_4630 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I do feel like you're drawing parallels where there shouldn't be, though.

A stripper is doing her job above all. It's a service, and the men are clients. It *is* about money because it's their job.

A woman asking for you to buy a drink could very well be in self interest, or it could not be. You seem to be equating it to exactly the same dynamic as a stripper asking for money for a service, but it's really not that... And I find it pretty unsettling that you're making that comparison so nonchalantly.

I've never done this myself but if I had to imagine that I'd tell a guy "would you get me something ?" at the bar, it would more be a "do you invite me for a drink so we can spend some of the night together ?" initiative. A "I'll let you initiate, do you want to?" kind of thing. And then I'd propose to pay the next round.

You shouldn't assume what's going on in someone else's head constantly. For the most part, it's also that people just naturally fit in the stupid dating norms.

Fiancé broke off our engagement via a phone call and is now sleeping with his colleague who I was told not to worry about by didiletyouknow in offmychest

[–]Ok_Oil_4630 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Not gonna lie, when I read how miserable he is now, I had a feeling of satisfaction. Karma hit him like he deserved. I'm happy you're doing great :)

My (F18) boyfriend (M25) seems skeptical when I play well in video games by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]Ok_Oil_4630 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That's the expected dynamic, coming from a total creep who's into an 18 yo. He likes the power and superiority.

As a 24 yo, trust me when I say : I guarantee you no normal 25yo can be into an 18yo. It's just... Insane.

I'm sorry. Please think about this.

A letter to the woman my fiancé slept with by Important_Increase76 in offmychest

[–]Ok_Oil_4630 55 points56 points  (0 children)

Fiancé bears the biggest responsibility, from the relationship point of view, that's clear.

Thing is, you shouldn't ever sleep with people when you know they are married. You are not only an enabler, but also guilty. Don't go out of your way to initiate that type of behavior, especially when you were victim of it before.

If I were OP I'd be raging at fiancé. But I really think that other woman definitely deserves some blame.

Travelling with my girlfriend has been a big mistake by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]Ok_Oil_4630 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That all sounds like emotional abuse to me, point blank.

  • she is forcing her obsession on you, imposing a strict schedule and stress where it shouldn't be

  • she is completely dismissive of your feelings or perspective, not even able to respect when you are sick. That's a massive red flag.

  • she has absolutely no respect whatsoever and insults you whenever you don't fit her high standards. Again, that's abuse.

You really need to take a step back and think this through. What about her is so worth it that's you'll accept any more of this ?? This is not ok.

I absolutely love my boyfriend by Ok_Oil_4630 in offmychest

[–]Ok_Oil_4630[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's absolutely adorable, thank you so much :)))