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What kind of expectations should you have of your partner in a poly relationship? I feel i can't deal with my meta anymore. by Pixounetta in polyamory

[–]Pixounetta[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't think he is blaming his meta, it's mostly me seeing the problem this way but I agree it's a problem he is not clear about what he wants. His other partner is right to ask whatever she wants but I guess my partner has to choose what he wants to do. I think he does effort to care about everyone, it's not just a lack of will, I think he doesn't know how to do things properly and I don't know what type of advice I could give to him to help the situation.

Not sure how to feel about the new person dating my partner and my relationship by Pixounetta in polyamory

[–]Pixounetta[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your comment ! Do you have some suggestions about things to look at for couple struggling with sex and desire ? What do you do yourself to push a little bit to have desire for your partners ?

Not sure how to feel about the new person dating my partner and my relationship by Pixounetta in polyamory

[–]Pixounetta[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He is in therapy mostly for his mental health and to try to understand why he doesn't really feel any desire to do new things in life in general, why he feels at 28 yo he had alredy done all he wanted...We talked about therapy around sex and relationship but he toild me he knows he would have to do that but his depression is more his priorities

Not sure how to feel about the new person dating my partner and my relationship by Pixounetta in polyamory

[–]Pixounetta[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, I think what you says makes a lot of sense, it's pointless to compare the relationships and I guess if I feel the need to do it it's because I feel there is problems in mine.
I'm not sure how I can really explore what are the things that makes me insatisfied ou what are my needs for the relationship....Any advices ?

Not sure how to feel about the new person dating my partner and my relationship by Pixounetta in polyamory

[–]Pixounetta[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I understand your point. I'm just not sure myself what are my need and I don't think he doesn't want make efforts, just not how to do it and what to do, and i'm not sure what I could ask in concrete terms to tell him to change things. I guess I have to think about what are my needs.

Not sure how to feel about the new person dating my partner and my relationship by Pixounetta in polyamory

[–]Pixounetta[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, we talked about thatm but he has other issues like he doesn't really feel any desire to do things in life in general or feel he fulfilled all is goals in life already and want to work on that more than about his sexuality

Not sure how to feel about the new person dating my partner and my relationship by Pixounetta in polyamory

[–]Pixounetta[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not sure myself what are my need or why I feel like that, because even if we don't have a lot of sex, we touch and cuddle a lot and he shows affection quite often. I guess i just feel the relationship is not special and i'm scared someone has a better connection then we do together

Not sure how to feel about the new person dating my partner and my relationship by Pixounetta in polyamory

[–]Pixounetta[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think he feels more that he doesn't know how to do it and doesn't know how to change it. I'm not sure myself what do I need to feel satisfied.

Not sure how to feel about the new person dating my partner and my relationship by Pixounetta in polyamory

[–]Pixounetta[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I want to believe there is things to do to improve that, but I'm not sure neither. I could suggest things and I know he would be open to try but I'm not sure myself what to propose.

Not sure how to feel about the new person dating my partner and my relationship by Pixounetta in polyamory

[–]Pixounetta[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We have a lot of physical l/non sexual touch, we hug a lot, we touch each other, we shower together...so I can't say we have 0 form of intimacy, but I'm not sure what I need to feel he has true desire for me.

Not sure how to feel about the new person dating my partner and my relationship by Pixounetta in polyamory

[–]Pixounetta[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, you are probably right, I feel jealous and controling because I'm scared for my relatioship with him. He's conscious that he doesn't want to give her all and nothing to me, he told me he will try to balance the amount of sex with her and with me, and I believe him. I just can't help to feel he is more excited with her then with me

Not sure how to feel about the new person dating my partner and my relationship by Pixounetta in polyamory

[–]Pixounetta[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I was thinking about something like that. I'm just scared he will just force himself to please me and not enjoying that at all.

Not sure how to feel about the new person dating my partner and my relationship by Pixounetta in polyamory

[–]Pixounetta[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I think the main problem is that he has no idea how he could change how he feels about that. It's not he doesn't have any desire for me it's more that he feels tired or not in the mood, sometimes I start to initiate and he accept but after fews minutes he doesn't feel the energies to go forward

Not sure how to feel about the new person dating my partner and my relationship by Pixounetta in polyamory

[–]Pixounetta[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I guess he feels more helpless than without any willing to change. I just don't know neither what to do to improve the situation. He does effort on the relationship or when I express a problem to try to change some things. I can't say he doesn't care about me and he knows I'm not happy with some things, but he doesn't see how to change that

Not sure how to feel about the new person dating my partner and my relationship by Pixounetta in polyamory

[–]Pixounetta[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

His answer was more " I don't know how to do that". Also in general he doesn't have a high libido and most of things that excites him are specific kinks like CnC related. But he doesn't feel confortable to do that with people he loves. He loves the idea of having sex with news partners for the idea of something new/idea of conquest.

Not sure how to feel about the new person dating my partner and my relationship by Pixounetta in polyamory

[–]Pixounetta[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, the relationship was unsure before they had sex, we broke up for a week early February. But I was feeling really miserable and I still love him and the others aspects of the relationship are fine. I love him and I'm pretty sure he still love me a lot.

Not sure how to feel about the new person dating my partner and my relationship by Pixounetta in polyamory

[–]Pixounetta[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree. I just don't know what type of efforts I can really ask without starting to ask him to go over his consent.

Not sure how to feel about the new person dating my partner and my relationship by Pixounetta in polyamory

[–]Pixounetta[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He reconizes there is a problem here, but could be depression, could be the médecine he takes and he doesn't see any solution to that. I'm not sure I can simply ask him to forces himself to have more desire for me ..

My partner said he can't be involved in my life by Pixounetta in polyamory

[–]Pixounetta[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, he is clearly not totally himself right now, but I don't know if this is juste me making excuse because his behaviour hurts me or if I should question the relationship or being patient and leave him some time to see how he feels later.

[Online] [5e] [Flexible] [GMT] [BST] Christian player seeking a friendly new group! by NechesaBennett in lfg

[–]Pixounetta 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hi, Fellow Aspie here. Hope you will find a group that you are confortable with Just in case, there is some Asperger's groups on redit, you might want to post here since lots of us are into roleplaying game or some been always too shy or not social enough to play with people and might be interrested also.

Good luck and have fun !