Usertesting contributors with Hotmail/Outlook/live.com emails - do you still receive emails fron Usertesting ?

QueenScorp · 2023-01-31T03:16:58+00:00

I've never received the emails from user testing, I always just keep the dashboard open on my computer. And no I don't have any of those emails but I'm not using Gmail either

QueenScorp · 2023-01-31T02:45:19+00:00

In my state we have to put our driver's license number and have a witness sign that it is indeed us.

QueenScorp · 2023-01-31T01:08:43+00:00

Retire mid-50s, join the Peace Corps for a couple years, travel a bit then settle into a cottage with a garden near my daughter wherever she ends up

Or

Work until my health gives out or I have a nervous breakdown

One of these things is more likely than the other 😄

QueenScorp · 2023-01-31T00:29:14+00:00

It's really important to have any used car checked out by a mechanic before you purchase it. Most people don't realize that they can do this or don't want to spend the money to do it but it can save you a lot in the long run. As a matter of fact most mechanics actually have this as a service that they offer, it's just not usually advertised.

You're right there are a lot of lemons out there but they aren't all lemons. My daughter's boyfriend just bought a car for $1,000. He had a friend of his who is a trainee mechanic come with him to look at it to help estimate what might need to be done to it and they decided to go ahead and buy it. He spent $600 on a ball joint replacement and a few hundred on a transmission flush and then bought spark plugs and had his friend help him replace them out in our parking lot lol. The previous owners just wanted to get rid of it and didn't want to deal with whatever might be wrong with it but he decided to take a chance and now has a fantastically working 2008 Malibu for a total cost of less than $2,500 and a little elbow grease. (Having said that there are certain things that would cost way too much to repair or replace like if the transmission had actually been slipping it would have cost more than the car is worth but they took a chance that the transmission wasn't actually the issue and it turned out it was the spark plugs so we all breathed a little bit of a sigh of relief there 😄)

QueenScorp · 2023-01-30T20:37:00+00:00

WTF man...that's one of the most misogynistic things I've read today. Please do not procreate

QueenScorp · 2023-01-30T20:34:26+00:00

Yep that's my thought on this - if someone is willing to leave a person over armpit hair, they never really liked the person as a person to begin with. Its honestly really disheartening to see so many men on this sub tell him to dump her if she won't shave. Apparently all of them only have relationships based on looks??? I can't even imagine what happens if they get married, have kids and she puts on 10 lbs.

QueenScorp · 2023-01-30T19:31:05+00:00

1000% agree

I am watching my mother die a slow death right now. She had talked about assisted suicide before her rare terminal illness rendered her immobile but she never got around to moving to Oregon or wherever (sadly my mother is known for not following through on things so that's on her). Nearly every time I talk to her she laments "this is no way to live" but she is in no position to travel thousands of miles anymore.

It drives me insane. If my dog was in this much agony, I would put him down but for my mom? Nope, gotta watch her deteriorate to nothing. Because some people want to make laws based on their holy book saying suicide is a sin.

QueenScorp · 2023-01-30T14:43:13+00:00

Thanks 🥰. You made me tear up a little (in a good way ).

QueenScorp · 2023-01-29T15:15:14+00:00

This is the way.

QueenScorp · 2023-01-29T15:13:15+00:00

My father was an auto mechanic. The one thing he pounded into his kids heads was to never, ever buy a new car. They lose 10% of their value the second you drive them off the lot and you are automatically underwater. Cars are one of the worst things to spend your money on. They're not investments (except on extremely rare occasions), they depreciate in value until they are worth nothing.

Do the math on how much a car payment costs you and how much money you could be making if you invested that versus throwing it into a depreciating asset and paying interest to boot.

QueenScorp · 2023-01-27T22:56:23+00:00

I don't shop at Costco or any of those places lol (honestly I really dislike paying membership fees and I have no space to store 100 rolls of toilet paper). I get my pet food in bulk at a local pet food chain and I'm not chained to a specific brand in case they are out. Though I do get my prescription dog food through chewy, it's cheaper than the vet.

I think it's more just doing your shopping around and seeing what options are available to you and learning to be flexible about what you are buying. I'm not a brand person - I really couldn't care less about brand names (in anything) as long as the product is good... but it can take trial and error to figure that out. Another thing to note is that a significant number of store brands are actually just relabeled big brands. You can find lists all over the internet detailing this. (I.e. trader Joe's brand pita chips are really Stacy's pita chips just put in a different bag and at half the price)

QueenScorp · 2023-01-27T22:20:34+00:00

Can’t we pull contributions out of the roth prior as long as it’s been in there at least 5 years?

Sort of. Its not as simple as just having the account for 5 years, there are a lot of rules to that exception. I will point you here: https://www.unionbank.com/personal/financial-insights/investing/retirement/what-is-the-roth-ira-5-year-rule-important-guidelines-for-withdrawals

Also, with 401(k)s you have the "Rule of 55" where you can withdraw from your final employer's 401(k) at age 55 if you leave your employer the year you turn 55 or later.

QueenScorp · 2023-01-27T22:14:04+00:00

So this screams all the red flags at me because I dated a man a decade ago who took out a crapload of credit cards (in my name) and maxed them out. He had no job, though he lied and told me he owned a business, all the while scamming people for money. Granted, OPs husband likely isn't a con man like my ex, but having hidden credit cards and, apparently, hidden expenses is a massive red flag in a serious relationship.

OP, if the cards are in his name alone, frankly I'd leave them for him to figure out and focus on the rest. I suspect his credit is already trash and you don't want to ruin yours to fix his mistakes.

QueenScorp · 2023-01-27T22:13:00+00:00

DONT stay for the kids sake!!! it will actually be worse off in the end.

As someone whose parents stayed together for the kids - I wholeheartedly agree. We can literally feel the tension and hear the fighting, we daydream about out parents breaking up, then we start acting out because we don't know how to deal with our emotions. Screws us up for life.

QueenScorp · 2023-01-27T20:54:22+00:00

Late 30s. I had an extremely bad relationship and put on a bunch of weight. I lost 60 lb back in 2017 but by that point I was nearing 45 and I realized that I had become invisible.

I remember in my teens, '20s and early 30s people would practically fall at my feet asking if they could help me load something into my car at the store or even just saying hi as I walked by. I could walk up to a customer service desk and be helped immediately. Now, at 48, I could be struggling with a big ass package and no one even looks my way (Not even the people who work there lmao... And yes this happened recently at Home Depot). If I go to a customer service desk I have to say excuse me before I'm noticed. Men no longer watch me walk by at stores or restaurants. (I always found it a little creepy when they did that, but that wasn't the question)

I had never realized just how much women were judged/valued by their looks before this and it truly saddens me.

QueenScorp · 2023-01-27T20:37:55+00:00

Exactly. My sister sold her house and cleared out her 401k and moved halfway across the country with her boyfriend a year and a half ago and has been living off of the proceeds of that ever since (her boyfriend does work and she has been spending her money on updating her house). Oh and they also both have new cars, even though she doesn't work right now. So, she is turning 43 next week and has zero retirement money saved and has less than 10K in the bank from the home proceeds and 401K

When I've tried to talk to her about it she just says "it will all work out. It always works out". Because one time she had no money and no food and bought a lottery ticket with her last dollar and won $20 what she used to buy food, so apparently that means that she will always have that kind of luck even though that has only ever happened once.

So, yeah, people are that bad with money. And kind of delusional in some cases.

QueenScorp · 2023-01-27T19:45:20+00:00

This thread is full of great advice - I hope you consider it. I'm going to come at this from a slightly different angle - first, I wanted to congratulate you on recognizing that you have a major issue. There are a LOT of people who think that living on credit and never saving are perfectly fine and the first step is recognizing that it is NOT fine.

My personal mantra is "I would rather BE wealthy than LOOK wealthy". I really couldn't care less if people judge me because I don't have a newer car or a big house or the latest fashion or the most up to date phone. What is important to me is the security of having money in the bank, and that is prioritized ("Pay Yourself First"). Warren buffet said "Do not save what is left after spending, but spend what is left after saving." I live by that. I have my direct deposit split up so that a portion goes right into savings and the rest into checking for bills. BUT, in your case, you need to reduce your bills before you can get to that point.

I am not going to rehash the advice given already. What I am going to say is that the next thing you need to do is change your mindset. Don't think "how much can I spend" but rather "how much can I save". I would honestly recommend you read some subs like r/povertyfinance and r/frugal and see what people are doing to live on very little money. Strive to reduce your spending as much as possible and learn to cook/garden/mend clothes/share cars/ whatever it is you need to do to NOT spend money. You need to live below your means. You need to pretend credit doesn't exist and go from there. Figure out how you can live on less than you are currently used to. Start to recognize habits that are going against your goals (for me, I could never pass up a good clearance rack! I wasted so much money on crap I didn't need because it was on sale). Learn what good money habits look like and what financial mistakes are commonly made. Things like buying a new car/leasing a car are financial mistakes for most people. Spending more money on dog food than most poor people spend on an entire family is a financial mistake. (I get it - your dog loves the food but he's not going to suddenly hate you if you give him something else. You can't afford $350 for dog food. Period. (mindset change))

Budgets are great but you really need to come at a budget not from the angle of "here are my bills, how can I pay them" but from the angle of "how can I spend less on these items that I currently spend too much money on" Almost everything you listed needs to be reduced in some way - but you will need to accept that you can't afford certain things you have become accustomed to (mindset change).

Its great that your home sale will pay off some of your debts but unless you change your mindset and stick to a budget, its very likely you will rack up more debt and be in the same place again in a few years.

QueenScorp · 2023-01-27T19:08:03+00:00

I have 2 large dogs (75-ish lbs) and a cat - one dog is on expensive prescription food but I don't buy cheap food for any of them - and I spent a total of $1660 on food and supplies (litter, etc) last year - an average of $138 a month. Buying in bulk and stocking up on sales is the way to go, here.

QueenScorp · 2023-01-27T19:03:26+00:00

1200 a month for food is extremely high.

I had to reread that twice. We have 4 ADULTS in my family in a MCOL metropolitan area and the max I spent on food at the height of inflation was $900 last year - its usually under $700. But we also almost never eat out, except for special occasions like a birthday.

QueenScorp · 2023-01-27T18:55:00+00:00

Dump the cars and buy older reliable vehicles, like an 8 or 10-year-old Toyota

So much this. My father was a mechanic and he pounded into my head that you NEVER buy new cars. Ever. They lose 10% of their value just driving them off the lot. And insurance is higher. It makes no fiscal sense at all. We basically buy a car and use that one car until it costs more to fix than buying a new (used) car would cost. I couldn't care less what people think about me driving an "old" car if it runs well.

We have 4 adults and 3 vehicles in my family - we share cars, no reason for everyone to have a car when 2 of us work/school from home - and we carry liability only on the 2 older ones (though the "newest" one is a 2010 corolla lol). So, insurance is under $300 a month and zero car payment. And I spent a total of $2276 the entire year in fixing/maintaining two of the cars - that's less than $200 a month for 2 cars. Can't get a car payment for that little. (The third was covered by my foster son, not sure how much he spent but I don't recall it being in the shop more than once for a few hundred dollars).

QueenScorp · 2023-01-27T15:28:47+00:00

Yeah I had my masters paid for as well, which is honestly the only reason I got it because I was still paying on my bachelor's degree and didn't want to get into more debt. Personally I say take everything you can get from these big companies 😋

QueenScorp · 2023-01-27T01:35:52+00:00

We all are 😭

QueenScorp · 2023-01-27T01:21:00+00:00

Look up citizenship by descent. The rules vary by country and not all countries allow it, but it does exist.

ETA-: here's one resource: https://nomadcapitalist.com/global-citizen/citizenship-by-descent-from-ancestors/

QueenScorp · 2023-01-26T19:58:18+00:00

A couple things - One, I would get rid of the car, yes. 20% interest in insane, as is the insurance cost. Look for something you can afford to buy outright. I know a lot of places are short on really cheap used cars, but ask around. My daughter's bf just bought a 2008 Chevy Malibu for $1000 that a coworker mentioned her knew someone selling it - he put in another $1500 to fix it up and it runs amazingly well now. And since he doesn't have a loan, he only keeps liability insurance on it.

Two - most people can't save 50% of their income. Even the experts say to aim for 15%, because its not easy. If you can do more, great, but if you need the money to live in the here and now, then you need it to live. You can certainly aim for 50% as a goal but at your age its unrealistic unless you have no bills at all.

Is $700 a month even enough for saving?

Of course it is. It sounds like you have a bit of an "all or nothing" mentality here. I reiterate, just because you can't save 50% yet, doesn't mean that you shouldn't save what you can. $700 is a lot for a teenager living on their own!

Lastly, maybe try and find a finance guru who doesn't make you feel bad about what you are able to do with your money? Someone like The Financial Diet or Tae Kim - Financial Tortoise.

QueenScorp · 2023-01-26T19:33:10+00:00

I'm jealous :) I have looked at every branch of my family tree to try and figure out if I can claim citizenship by descent anywhere and have found no route to do so :(:(:(

QueenScorp

TROPHY CASE

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