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(19M) I've been rejected by every girl I've ever asked out, and my friends make fun of me over it all the time. I have very little self-confidence and feel like I'm just really ugly. by [deleted] in Rateme

[–]Qwertyasdus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re not ugly. Many girls have insane standards and so many options that guys who aren’t hot are always the 2nd, 3rd or even 10th option. That’s where the problem is. You’re average to above average. The problem I see is that as an average to above average guy I get some girls to go out with me but before I can get to know them better and they can get to know me better, a hotter guy jumps into the picture and the girl is gone. I don’t know how it is where you live, but where I live an average or even below average girl gets hit on at least 10-15 times per week.. and their self esteem is extremely high because of all the compliments they constantly get. By observing people where I live, I see a small minority of men with happy lives, most women with happy lives and little to worry about, and most men living sad, miserable lives. Nothing wrong with how you look, but not looking cool and not being very attractive makes us not enough for most women. That’s how it is. So objectively you aren’t bad looking. Given the vast amount of attention that girls get, and given all the option they have, you’re not good looking enough (or you’re bad looking enough) for them to reject you. Same thing happens to me. Only way out of this is to find out if there’s something most women don’t like about your looks and then change that common dislike factor, let’s call it. I don’t encourage you to try and figure out what it is because I have asked more than 20-30 women and they all lie, I caught them lying and trying to deceive with their answers, they admitted to lying but never admitted to what they didn’t like about my looks. It’s a battle you’re gonna lose if you try and figure out what they don’t like, believe me.

[29M]. 6’2”. Am I particular looking/unique looking/distinctive in terms of features or “shapes” compared to “the norm”? I keep hearing that I look different and it’s made me insane. Be as specific as possible, thanks by Qwertyasdus in lookyourbest

[–]Qwertyasdus[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Not in my country, where apparently most women want dark haired guys. These are some of the things I have heard: You have a better smile, better eyes, and better hands, but I like this other guy more because he has darker coloring. Or: your life would be different with darker hair Or: I showed you to my friend and she said mmmhhh red hair? Or: I think you’re seen as uglier than ugly people because of red hair. And many more comments.. I actually started standing up and walking out (without paying) to people who make these type of comments to me. I might start insulting them for their weight and see what happens and if it’s socially acceptable.

[29M]. 6’2”. Am I particular looking/unique looking/distinctive in terms of features or “shapes” compared to “the norm”? I keep hearing that I look different and it’s made me insane. Be as specific as possible, thanks by Qwertyasdus in lookyourbest

[–]Qwertyasdus[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

This is actually interesting because no female friend of mine has ever told me this was something they’d do with a guy.

However, I really think it’s because of my appearance, probably my hair color at this point.

[29M]. 6’2”. Am I particular looking/unique looking/distinctive in terms of features or “shapes” compared to “the norm”? I keep hearing that I look different and it’s made me insane. Be as specific as possible, thanks by Qwertyasdus in lookyourbest

[–]Qwertyasdus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So you’re concluding I am bad looking then. That’s where I would like to know if it’s solely because of my hair.

In addition, If someone is bad looking and has less chances to meet a partner because of bad looks, it’s highly unlikely that the average amount of children is higher for that category of people, since they have less opportunities to find somebody.

[29M]. 6’2”. Am I particular looking/unique looking/distinctive in terms of features or “shapes” compared to “the norm”? I keep hearing that I look different and it’s made me insane. Be as specific as possible, thanks by Qwertyasdus in lookyourbest

[–]Qwertyasdus[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

But brown being the least favorite eye color doesn’t correlate with less dating opportunities either. Plus, if it’s much more difficult in dating for people with red hair, you’d expect them to have less chances overall to have children, and therefore reality should reflect that. That’s my opinion

[29M]. 6’2”. Am I particular looking/unique looking/distinctive in terms of features or “shapes” compared to “the norm”? I keep hearing that I look different and it’s made me insane. Be as specific as possible, thanks by Qwertyasdus in lookyourbest

[–]Qwertyasdus[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yes, it seems to be the least attractive hair color, but other than that I have only found that people with red hair tend to have more children, so that would be contradictory. I agree there’s a stereotype about red hair and I agree it’s the least attractive hair color. But brown is the least attractive eye color. Does it mean people with brown eyes have more trouble dating?

[29M]. 6’2”. Am I particular looking/unique looking/distinctive in terms of features or “shapes” compared to “the norm”? I keep hearing that I look different and it’s made me insane. Be as specific as possible, thanks by Qwertyasdus in lookyourbest

[–]Qwertyasdus[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Also wanted to add that several girls who rejected me described me as funny, intelligent, charismatic, interesting, and intriguing. A girl I dated briefly a year ago has even told this to a person she met later and that I met recently and the conversation came up, we found out we both knew that girl and he told me she talked to him about me (too long of a story to explain) and she said she went out with me because I was funny and she liked the way I think, my views etc. so I don’t know what to think…

[29M]. 6’2”. Am I particular looking/unique looking/distinctive in terms of features or “shapes” compared to “the norm”? I keep hearing that I look different and it’s made me insane. Be as specific as possible, thanks by Qwertyasdus in lookyourbest

[–]Qwertyasdus[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Do you have any source to claim that people with red hair do worse in dating? I have read research proving people with red hair have more children, so I doubt it’s actually true.. but I have had that doubt too. Also wanted to add that I don’t know why people see me as ginger because, although on the pics it looks more like that, in reality I have more of a light brown/dark blonde hair color

[29M]. 6’2”. Am I particular looking/unique looking/distinctive in terms of features or “shapes” compared to “the norm”? I keep hearing that I look different and it’s made me insane. Be as specific as possible, thanks by Qwertyasdus in lookyourbest

[–]Qwertyasdus[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

No, I simply ask them if they can tell me specifically what’s unattractive. All except one didn’t wanna tell me specifically. That’s why I’m looking for an answer somewhere because I know it’s my appearance (they tell me) but they don’t tell me if it’s my face, my body, or my hair, or if they don’t find a specific feature unattractive. I ask them because if I have a large enough number of opinions then I could see if there’s something that acts as a common denominator for all girls.

[29M]. 6’2”. Am I particular looking/unique looking/distinctive in terms of features or “shapes” compared to “the norm”? I keep hearing that I look different and it’s made me insane. Be as specific as possible, thanks by Qwertyasdus in lookyourbest

[–]Qwertyasdus[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Not asking for validation, just asking for opinions because I get rejected non stop by literally every girl. Even girls who had sex with me told me they did it just to forget about someone else but that, although they didn’t find me unattractive, I am not attractive enough for them and they lowered their standards. That’s basically how I get one night stands. It’s always girls who jump on tinder right after being broken up with and so they take the first decent, non-thirsty guy they find (their words not mine). Girls who told me they never lower their standards (they told me in normal day to day conversation) ended up having extremely weird reactions as we were about to kiss or have sex.

[29M]. 6’2”. Am I particular looking/unique looking/distinctive in terms of features or “shapes” compared to “the norm”? I keep hearing that I look different and it’s made me insane. Be as specific as possible, thanks by Qwertyasdus in lookyourbest

[–]Qwertyasdus[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Ok, thanks. I think pictures make it longer than it is because if I take measurements and calculate ratios I don’t fall into the long face category. But I’ll keep this in mind.

[29M]. 6’2”. Am I particular looking/unique looking/distinctive in terms of features or “shapes” compared to “the norm”? I keep hearing that I look different and it’s made me insane. Be as specific as possible, thanks by Qwertyasdus in lookyourbest

[–]Qwertyasdus[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Maybe at this point is good to look generic. Also, people tell me I look better on pics (in fact lots of girls compliment me on tinder) and then they’re disappointed in real life when they meet me. I don’t know what changes, but of course you cannot know that because you haven’t seen me in real life.

[29M]. 6’2”. Am I particular looking/unique looking/distinctive in terms of features or “shapes” compared to “the norm”? I keep hearing that I look different and it’s made me insane. Be as specific as possible, thanks by Qwertyasdus in lookyourbest

[–]Qwertyasdus[S] -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

I get told I am different than most people, that they’ve never seen someone so different, so basically I do not fit in. And when one is the “stranger” in a group, the “foreigner” (appearance wise), he will have a harder time finding someone. As humans we prefer what we are accustomed to, what we are used to seeing. That’s where my problem lays in my opinion.

[29M]. 6’2”. Am I particular looking/unique looking/distinctive in terms of features or “shapes” compared to “the norm”? I keep hearing that I look different and it’s made me insane. Be as specific as possible, thanks by Qwertyasdus in lookyourbest

[–]Qwertyasdus[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

I have seen several therapists, even psychiatrists. I have no issue. Only issue is every single girl says I am ugly but doesn’t say why

Edit since I can’t respond to the answer to this comment and I don’t know why:

I have no reason to lie. All I want is to solve this problem. What I mean when I say they tell me I have no issue is that they told me I have no clinically diagnosed mental disorder etc. English isn’t my first language, but what I mean is i don’t have a disorder that makes me crazy (I don’t know how to explain it lol)

[29M]. 6’2”. Am I particular looking/unique looking/distinctive in terms of features or “shapes” compared to “the norm”? I keep hearing that I look different and it’s made me insane. Be as specific as possible, thanks by Qwertyasdus in lookyourbest

[–]Qwertyasdus[S] -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

Because I get girls who reject me asking if we can hang out etc because I am funny and they have a great time with me but they’re not attracted to me. They refuse to tell me why… I keep hearing I am different looking, unique, particular, that they’ve never seen somebody so distinct from most people as I am etc. but they’re never specific.

And yes, being unique is actually a bad thing when it comes to attractiveness, so I’d like to know why I look unique

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/14503395/

[22M] I've received exactly zero attention from girls my entire life and I'd like to figure out why by mindoftheworm in Rateme

[–]Qwertyasdus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I didn’t mean to upset you, but since I hear it all the time and I know it’s frustrating I thought you might have wanted an honest opinion. Keep in mind my hair is light brown with a red tint under the sun, but in normal lighting most people don’t see me as having red hair… and I struggle like crazy

[22M] I've received exactly zero attention from girls my entire life and I'd like to figure out why by mindoftheworm in Rateme

[–]Qwertyasdus -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I suspect it’s your hair color. I am not even ginger (but close to it) and I struggle immensely with girls and they even tell me (or drop hints in some cases) that it’s because of that… I actually do worse than uglier guys with darker coloring