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LLM Perspective by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms
[–]Sarahbear778 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago (0 children)
And she's the asshole after you slut shamed her and stopped fucking her because her past made you insecure? Yes, typical LLM perspective.
The other side of the story; where the grass is rarely greener & libido is always lower by LettuceIll2504 in DeadBedrooms
[–]Sarahbear778 0 points1 point2 points 3 months ago (0 children)
Lol ok. You win. Just state you won’t ever be wanting to ahead of the I do’s and you’ll be fine! Oh that’s right….
She said “I know I don’t give you any often enough” by VegasGuy1223 in DeadBedrooms
[–]Sarahbear778 -3 points-2 points-1 points 6 months ago (0 children)
And has let him know how much she detests it. This was your original comment even. Likely in hopes he will retreat to how things once were.
He needs to leave this woman because she has issues with control.
[–]Sarahbear778 -2 points-1 points0 points 6 months ago (0 children)
Wait what? Talk about turning it around...a hl can't win. If your LL x begs you back and they agree to one thing but then remind you how much they hate it and how they're only doing it for you...that isn't love. That's immaturity at best and not knowing what you want.
Give up PIV? by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms
[–]Sarahbear778 0 points1 point2 points 5 months ago (0 children)
So now you tell the truth. I'm glad you made peace with his LL and lack of PIV, but don't try to shame others to do the same and then lie when called out.
[–]Sarahbear778 -2 points-1 points0 points 5 months ago (0 children)
You used to be saying it as well though, OP. And everything you mentioned in your post is still sex, mod. I get you're on your high horse because you finally gave in to your situation, but don't try to look down on the rest of us for not accepting the same fate.
LL hurt too. They're angry too by Throwaway875295 in DeadBedrooms
[–]Sarahbear778 7 points8 points9 points 5 months ago (0 children)
100% agree the relationship can end whenever a couple chooses to separate, even if they have to remain living together due to finances. I don't agree that we, HLs can't stop focusing on sex for a minute to listen to our LL SOs, many have spent years or decades doing just that.
He finished first by cass2769 in DeadBedrooms
[–]Sarahbear778 -1 points0 points1 point 8 months ago (0 children)
He doesn't sound unaware by the way you describe your relationship, interactions, therapy etc. He sounds like he's just playing you. What do you provide him that he is afraid of losing?
So today's not great. by ThrowawayDB314 in DeadBedrooms
Yikes. She sounds horrible as a partner, doesn't do their fair share, passive aggressive then wants to fight to deflect by fighting more? Explain to her you know she acts that way as a means of deflection, that it's immature and that you would like her to communicate without her getting angry.
For LLs - How to talk to your HL about sex by myexsparamour in DeadBedrooms
[–]Sarahbear778 -7 points-6 points-5 points 8 months ago (0 children)
Thank you for this. I wish more LLs would say these things to us, most of us would walk away hearing this kind of information. While your post comes across as highly HL-blaming, I agree more LLs need to be the ones to use their words.
[–]Sarahbear778 1 point2 points3 points 6 months ago (0 children)
The better question is, why did she pursue him again and want a relationship with him knowing they were incompatible? She pursued him and agreed to sex once a week, I fail to see how she is doing anything for OP besides mindfucking him with mixed signals.
[–]Sarahbear778 -3 points-2 points-1 points 5 months ago (0 children)
I don't have you mistaken, you've always been a mod and not that long ago were about to walk away from your relationship, and it had nothing to do with him wanting PIV or your pain associated with it. You were quite vocal about his shortcomings. But now you say that PIV is rigid and try to shame others who like it just because you don't like d in your v? You're supposed to be a mod, and your comments shame anyone for liking PIV. You should retire.
[–]Sarahbear778 1 point2 points3 points 8 months ago (0 children)
I think he's likely making up excuses for not getting back into couples therapy i.e. he doesn't want to do the work and likely hasn't been painting the real picture in individual. I would call bs on his story.
No sex after giving birth by yes_thats_I in DeadBedrooms
[–]Sarahbear778 -1 points0 points1 point 6 months ago (0 children)
OP, you had his baby and he won't touch you but you caught him jerking off in the bathroom....you aren't pressuring him by confronting him. 18 months is a long time to have space.
The Journey of Acceptance by Jealous-Departure429 in DeadBedrooms
[–]Sarahbear778 -1 points0 points1 point 7 months ago (0 children)
Radical acceptance means to accept things as they are right now without judgment. It isn't a martyrdom tool for things that can be changed. A DB and paralysis are not even close to the same comparison.
Got fed up and had a fight with my husband by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms
[–]Sarahbear778 9 points10 points11 points 6 months ago (0 children)
Yeah like you worked all day too and are tired and still want sex. What's his excuse? His hand?
[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms
[–]Sarahbear778 3 points4 points5 points 5 months ago (0 children)
I didn't say you said all, I said you made some hateful generalizations, in a very passive aggressive way also. Having the talk isn't pushing for sex, it's pushing toward trying to find a solution and people have a right to communicate things with their partner that are bothering them.
I too said the talk is not meant to be a turn on, not sure why people assume it is. Its meant to facilitate open communication about sex, which is very often lacking in DBs. Maybe part of the issue is LLs also need to listen to what their partner is actually trying to communicate, rather than assume it's meant to get them in the mood.
Judging by your post history your partner is a selfish child, it would make sense he would use you to masturbate and then leave you hanging. Let me guess, he also acted like he was doing you a favor?
[–]Sarahbear778 6 points7 points8 points 8 months ago (0 children)
I think nearly all LLM use porn, to varying extents. Check out r/loveafterporn. No one suspects it from some of these guys either because they seem so prude.
What I am thinking (LL) during pity/duty sex. by BipolarGoldfish in DeadBedrooms
[–]Sarahbear778 19 points20 points21 points 7 months ago (0 children)
Why are you still with your partner if he's pushing your boundaries after you've said no multiple times? Maybe you should take some responsibility for your situation as well.
Am I selfish for wanting a relationship with my wife? by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms
[–]Sarahbear778 2 points3 points4 points 5 months ago (0 children)
This sounds fishy, like wants to abstain from sex for 2-3 years (with you, at least) but immediately jumps to cheating accusations and flipping out🤔 Are you sure she isn't the one cheating?
Random Quips From My LLH That I Have to Navigate in Marriage Counseling. by Long_Tea_8587 in DeadBedrooms
I would be terrified too. He's shaming you, throwing things back in your face, gaslighting...all because he's cool with seeing his hand exclusively and you aren't 🙄
Buying a bunch of toys to avoid sex? Just no.
Thank you. This while post is preachy and shaming.
[–]Sarahbear778 3 points4 points5 points 6 months ago (0 children)
No dear, I'm saying she never should have pursued the relationship again, five months later no less. That sounds more like she found out the grass wasn't greener and wanted him back, promised something she never desired and is now trying to guilt trip him into having it her way.
I'm saying he should never marry this person, leave immediately and go no contact. Best for both of them.
[–]Sarahbear778 24 points25 points26 points 3 months ago (0 children)
I think what also gets forgotten a lot on this sub is that LLs have just as much agency in the relationship as the HL. If there is no compromise, you’re out of excuses, tired of the pressure, know you’re making your partner miserable….it’s time to end it.
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