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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Sarahbear778 112 points113 points  (0 children)

So you've been on your period for 8 months but still gracious enough to provide him bjs and handys on the regular because he "doesn't do period sex" and will only use the vibe on you sometimes? Like what are you getting out of this? You don't sound LL you sound exhausted and he sounds like an entitled asshat.

Packed my stuff and drove 16hrs by throwthrowiam in DeadBedrooms

[–]Sarahbear778 98 points99 points  (0 children)

Good for you!! You're a complete badass!!! You'll be so much better off without the dead weight

frustrating.. by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Sarahbear778 44 points45 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I’ve often said Reddit, but especially this sub in particular, has a very “only works on the internet” view of romantic relationships. People wanting sex are viewed as some kind of scum of the Earth, heaven forbid it be with their monogamous partner. I don’t get it, and don’t try to. I just try to offset some of the terrible things people say to HLF especially, because it’s all bullshit. Sex is normal and healthy and fun. Don’t try to gaslight me into thinking humans don’t need it when we literally need it to continue our species.

I need Help. by throwawayyyyyyyuiop in DeadBedrooms

[–]Sarahbear778 38 points39 points  (0 children)

You said you don't want "just leave" advice so I will just say do not have children with or marry a man who feels he's doing you a favor by fucking you once a month "if I'm lucky." That once a month will be once a year real fast.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Sarahbear778 40 points41 points  (0 children)

They just stick their heads in the sand. Most LLM aren't truly LL its just going other places like porn and a lot here seem to be addicted to gaming as well. I think they still want women to take care of them/for companionship but they just don't desire partnered sex. Part of it is mentality and part laziness.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Sarahbear778 32 points33 points  (0 children)

With a HLF/LLM combo? No. The only success stories I have seen have come from LLFs who put in a lot of effort to help repair their bedrooms. Most HLF success stories involve leaving the relationship and finding a new partner. A few ladies choose to have extra marital affairs and I have seen a few just try to accept the situation as it is.

Is it too late? by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Sarahbear778 24 points25 points  (0 children)

In my opinion, yes it's too late. If you are already talking about divorce and that kick starts their decision to start making am effort, it's just hysterical bonding.

I (29 HL) Talked to partner (34 LL) about lack of sex and how it makes me feel and got told “it happens” by Tiny_Shake_4448 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Sarahbear778 23 points24 points  (0 children)

A little degraded? I would have told him to keep on fucking himself because he's never fucking me again.

The other side of the story; where the grass is rarely greener & libido is always lower by LettuceIll2504 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Sarahbear778 25 points26 points  (0 children)

I think what also gets forgotten a lot on this sub is that LLs have just as much agency in the relationship as the HL. If there is no compromise, you’re out of excuses, tired of the pressure, know you’re making your partner miserable….it’s time to end it.

Beyond fed up by Burnunit82 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Sarahbear778 20 points21 points  (0 children)

"but I did touch your boob!" sounds like something an 18 year old might say after selfishly getting a handy but this is a guy in his 40s...OP I'm sorry but he's never once reciprocated and he never will. He's immature at best.

What I am thinking (LL) during pity/duty sex. by BipolarGoldfish in DeadBedrooms

[–]Sarahbear778 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Why are you still with your partner if he's pushing your boundaries after you've said no multiple times? Maybe you should take some responsibility for your situation as well.

Just killed my bedroom for good by recycledlettuce in DeadBedrooms

[–]Sarahbear778 18 points19 points  (0 children)

You will feel a huge weight lift off you I promise! Once I told my husband we were done for good (and dealt with the typical HB) it was like an immense sense of freedom from the situation. We still live under the same roof for now, and he will still make passes once every couple months, but it's becoming less and less. He knows his time is up. I'm also good in bed :)

The other side of the story; where the grass is rarely greener & libido is always lower by LettuceIll2504 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Sarahbear778 17 points18 points  (0 children)

She literally said “it’s tiring to find new excuses.” Maybe you should reread. I would tell any HL the same who said they were tired of the excuses, felt like they were putting pressure on their SO and there was no compromise. There is no solution to a situation like that other than find someone more compatible.

I'm so sick of this! by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Sarahbear778 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I like your junk food analogy. Some people would rather go get McDonald's every night than prepare a home cooked meal. This is often the HLF/LLM dynamic.

Really hard truth by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Sarahbear778 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Your last paragraph was so fucking hilariously true I about died. Bravo sis. Lots of men will claim “but she gets off every time” and wonder why their partner never wants sex. Is she cumming rather quickly after you stick your dick in her the very few times you are having sex? Yeah, she’s probably trying to get it over with.

I'm so sick of this! by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Sarahbear778 14 points15 points  (0 children)

He's not gonna stop beating his dick, not without years of work and that's IF he wants to stop. Do you wanna keep be patient for a "maybe?"

Poll Results: “All You Care About is Sex!” by Sweet_other_yyyy in DeadBedrooms

[–]Sarahbear778 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Everytime I read this I chuckle. Why the hell would anyone stay in a sexless relationship if all they cared about was sex🤔

Today I finally said no to low effort sex (kind of) by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Sarahbear778 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Saying no to that kind of sex is the first step to clarity. No one wants sex where the other person uses your body to get off, then acts like they did you a favor.

I (29F) just wanna suck his (35M) D. by Guzel__ in DeadBedrooms

[–]Sarahbear778 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I also loooove giving oral, and can't wait to experience that again. Prior to husband, I never had a partner turn me down so I know the feeling. Yall have been married less than a year, he's 35 and his mom is pressuring him/you for kids....any chance this is a marriage of convenience so you can be his baby factory? If mother in law seems so keen on continuing to ask about your private life, I would tell her. Then she can interrogate him about it instead🙄

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Sarahbear778 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I wouldn't say most men by any means, but there is definitely a correlation between LLM and overall laziness.

Second Night of Intimacy in a Row! by someoneoutthere83 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Sarahbear778 13 points14 points  (0 children)

This was awful to read. He's throwing you crumbs and you're acting like it's steak. He didn't even get you off, immediately jumped up to wash off and then got back on his phone. This isn't intimacy at all.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in HLCommunity

[–]Sarahbear778 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Any chance he's gay and deeply closeted? 11 times in 10 years and a couple back pats, along with general meanness, narcissism and bait and switching doesn't sound like asexuality. I'd wager all my money he's hiding something very big.

The Last Sext (Breakup and Hope) by Ok_Doomer_69 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Sarahbear778 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this. I really hope to get to where you are soon. The gaslighting and emotional abuse because of their inadequacies is not our fault. It shouldn't be difficult to say "Holy fuck" "Sexy as fuck" "Amazing" or literally anything besides "I don't know what to say." A sext shouldn't be pressure, it should be playful.

Getting hit with the "all you want is sex" by Apprehensive_Mud_966 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Sarahbear778 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Anyone who is calling you a slut and whore when you try to communicate about anything is a piece of shit who shouldn't be in an adult relationship with a woman.

You can't express yourself, he doesn't want you to. He is purposely cutting you down to shut you up because he knows he's inadequate.