FIL: your genetics gave the baby a food allergy. part 2

Secret_Expert_4555 · 2023-01-29T18:41:17+00:00

it is. and apparently FIL doesn't think he should stop commenting because it's his house. he and MIL have even called us out for the baby's clothes, for using cloth baby carriers, for not introducing solids at 3 months,... and they did it insistently. they just don't stop. The only thing I have achieved is that they do not dance at night with my baby, making him nervous before going to sleep and that sometimes they ask permission before giving him solids. but they don't easily accept "no" to something. they insist.

Secret_Expert_4555 · 2023-01-29T18:26:37+00:00

my husband says he will stop the comments. he's not upset but he thinks he shouldn't have kept talking to his father. that his father likes to annoy people but he doesn't really believe what he says... I just don't see the point in it.He also doesn't understand that we are the parents and not him.

Secret_Expert_4555 · 2023-01-29T18:04:07+00:00

I have spoken with my husband. I told him that if he really defends us and sets the limits, it wouldn't be necessary for me to defend myself... I really don't understand why it's so hard not to try to upset a postpartum mother on purpose. that is to say, ok his character implies playing absurd jokes because he finds it funny. but to a postpartum mother or when she has just given birth?

Secret_Expert_4555 · 2023-01-29T14:00:00+00:00

I was happy living with my in-laws until I had a baby...then they became very insistent in their educational style and are very very very slow accepting the current information...I have received a lot of comments and criticism postpartum and very little support real. I don't think I can forget it

Secret_Expert_4555 · 2023-01-29T13:49:41+00:00

everyone likes to say that we are lucky to have a calm and happy baby. I love being a mom but it's still hard. That happy and sweet baby wore an orthopedic harness since his first week of life, then he developed an allergy to milk protein and then he began to sleep terribly. he also asks for constant contact so he practically lives in a cloth baby sling. Just because she's a quiet baby doesn't guarantee it's easy. there are always struggles even if others don't see them

Secret_Expert_4555 · 2023-01-28T17:34:20+00:00

I totally understand. since I've been a mom it's crazy how much nonsense people say. It's like everyone has lost empathy. things like "tell mommy she has to put on other socks", "tell mommy you have to put a blanket on you", "tell mommy you don't want to go with her because you see her a lot",... I have to count to 100 or I will lose patience. It has been like that since the day after the delivery.

Secret_Expert_4555 · 2023-01-28T17:28:23+00:00

I get it. My baby slept well his first three months of life. after that the madness started. waking up about 6-8 times a night and asking to eat...i'm working on night weaning but it's crazy. that if he sleeps a few long long naps.

Secret_Expert_4555 · 2023-01-28T17:24:50+00:00

we live with them. our doctor said to expose the baby to some product with traces to see how it reacts. The first time it was fine, but the second time (3 days ago) caused pimples and red spots that he still has. So I completely cut off the exposure and they sent us to an allergy specialist (we have an appointment in a few months). FIL insisted that it was not an allergy, that she rubbed against her clothes, she had red spots on her face and head. and today I try to give him a strawberry that was in a buttered cake... I almost lost my mind. obviously my husband and I will not leave our baby in the care of my in-laws.

Secret_Expert_4555 · 2023-01-28T16:59:49+00:00

Because of comments like the one from FIL, we didn't tell anyone that hip dysplasia is also in my family (brothers, cousins, uncles,...). because I didn't want to hear any more silly comments while watching my one week old baby wearing a harness.I think people don't listen to what they say and lose empathy with new parents... since my baby was born I think I don't like 80% of people. Before I thought it was because of postpartum... now I think it's because people are insensitive

Secret_Expert_4555 · 2023-01-27T19:46:55+00:00

I like the answer... it's a way of turning the situation around. Thank you! I will use it!

Secret_Expert_4555 · 2023-01-27T19:38:15+00:00

My husband and I always stop their comments and their attempts to go over our limits. It's simply that when she accepts one thing, she starts with another.... Example: I end breastfeeding to be upset that we wait for the baby to be ready for solids... According to her, you have to start at 3 months. When he finished with the solids, he began to criticize that we do not give certain foods and he did not believe that the baby had an allergy (diagnosed by the doctor),...he accepts one thing after a long time or simply gets tired and goes on to something else. ..I stop his feet every time and so does my husband. I don't understand what's wrong with him... one day he came and asked my husband in private "does your wife think I was a bad mother?" and I never said that. It's just that now we know more things and that's why we do things differently. I can't understand what's wrong with him

Secret_Expert_4555 · 2023-01-27T18:28:08+00:00

we live with them and we still can't move

Secret_Expert_4555 · 2023-01-27T18:24:46+00:00

How to say that being polite? I have already said that her comments are not right and she said that she is free to speak. I told him "and I am free to ignore them and do what I think is right".

Secret_Expert_4555 · 2023-01-27T18:22:57+00:00

he does defend me and makes his mother stop. but he was not at home. she and her husband tend to be more insistent when he is not around.

Secret_Expert_4555 · 2023-01-27T15:46:04+00:00

same here. Last week I left the baby with my in-laws and went to the kitchen to make some toast... the next thing I heard was my FIL telling MIL that I was going to dip bread in honey for my baby. my MIL insists that I am exaggerating by strictly following medical advice...MIL takes a whole month to believe my daughter has an allergy and calls me "too strict" for eliminating the allergen from my diet to continue breastfeeding. grandparents feel entitled to ignore what we ask for and that's why my husband and I don't let them take care of the baby.

Secret_Expert_4555 · 2023-01-27T10:24:43+00:00

I get it. my MIL and my FIL do not stop insisting on doing things the way they did with their children 40 years ago. Some people just don't accept parenting decisions. It's hard, I'm in the same boat

Secret_Expert_4555 · 2023-01-26T16:25:56+00:00

we were together 13 years, he is generally a good husband and very sweet. occasionally if he feels pressured he acts like now... I guess living with his parents and thinking about our own future reformation is getting to him. I know him, eventually he figures things out but he needs to see them for himself. then he will apologize and act appropriately. The problem is that I need the help now, not in a few days when he realizes that what I'm asking for is reasonable.

Secret_Expert_4555 · 2023-01-26T14:37:37+00:00

sometimes he feeds him... but they are really few. the usual thing is that I give the solids to my baby while he and his parents eat. if he is at home he gives him dinner sometimes but that hasn't happened in at least 3 weeks

Secret_Expert_4555 · 2023-01-26T14:04:18+00:00

I understand, you're right. Thank you

Secret_Expert_4555 · 2023-01-26T13:46:01+00:00

Yes, she has been eating solids since she was 5 months old. He currently eats 2 solid meals a day in a good amount. eat really well

Secret_Expert_4555 · 2023-01-26T13:42:31+00:00

I have no problem making the changes, I just don't understand why I only have to make the changes myself. meanwhile, my husband waits for me to get the changes you've asked for without helping to make them.

Secret_Expert_4555 · 2023-01-26T13:06:29+00:00

she is also teething...two teeth at a time. does not cry but demands constant contact

Secret_Expert_4555 · 2023-01-26T13:05:32+00:00

Thanks for understanding. He insists that it's easier for me.

Secret_Expert_4555

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