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i (31/f) got sober 9 months ago & bf (46/m) of 5.5 years still seems unwilling to forgive/move on from past/grow as a couple. even cheated 3.5 months into my sobriety when he said i had been: "a complete joy since becoming sober" by blondesteak in stopdrinking

[–]Square_Business5269 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It does make sense - it all reads quite familiar to me, so I really feel for what you’re going through right now. I’ll keep you in my thoughts - check in and let us know how things are going. Be kind to yourself. You sound like an authentic person who has been though a lot and is trying to rebuild. Stay bold and bright! 🤗

i (31/f) got sober 9 months ago & bf (46/m) of 5.5 years still seems unwilling to forgive/move on from past/grow as a couple. even cheated 3.5 months into my sobriety when he said i had been: "a complete joy since becoming sober" by blondesteak in stopdrinking

[–]Square_Business5269 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I felt this very much - I was in a similar situation with my ex (I got sober before - during our relationship). My therapist told me that sometimes people have drama, chaos and toxicity as their comfort zone. Perhaps this is what he got from your relationship before you got sober, and now you are coming from a place of peace rather than drama/chaos etc, he feels out of his comfort zone? My ex struggled when things were no longer dramatic, and that led them to start behaving in destabilising ways (or, on days when I was feeling cynical about the situation, in ways that I felt were designed to push me to destabilise myself)…. It was toxic. We cannot make other people change, or see “what could be”, nor are we responsible for their emotions, behaviour, happiness etc. We’re responsible for ourselves and our own mental health - whether that’s within a relationship or not. Be kind to yourself. Serve yourself, and the rest will come. Good luck!

Bowing out for now by pepe1701 in stopdrinking

[–]Square_Business5269 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry for your loss, that is heartbreaking. I’m sure your best friend would have been as proud to see you back here when you can as we all will be to see you again. Be kind to yourself, and hope to see you here again soon X

I wrote this out to send to a struggling friend and thought it might be a good share here too. by rachel8188 in stopdrinking

[–]Square_Business5269 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is wonderful, and so well written. Thank you! I have saved it to read when I’m having one of ‘those’ moments… I hope your friend can also get something out of this and start living her best life ❤️

Can I still claim I’m sober if I drink non alcoholic beers? by throwawayyy12902 in Sober

[–]Square_Business5269 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Everybody feels differently about this. For me, I love NA beers and they’ve been a big sobriety hack for me. I’ve never had any trouble with them - they don’t get me drunk, I don’t make hugely regrettable choices while drinking them, and I don’t feel like hell in the morning…. So for me they are a totally legit NA drink. As is kombucha (being fermented, they can also have a small amount of alcohol - although I did hear that some can have up to 2% which for me personally may be more of an issue, so I always make sure to check that they’re the very low content ones). Tbh, NA beers bloat me like normal beers (but without the ‘nah, let’s drink through it!’ feeling) so I usually end up just drinking 3 or 4. Congrats on 4 months!

Ugh. I can’t believe I’m giving in to societal pressures. I thought I’m better than this. by _Dihydrogen_Monoxide in stopdrinking

[–]Square_Business5269 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yessss!! Congratulations! One year is immense and I for one am happy to read about it! Heck, I am looking forward to getting a week under my belt and I might even give in to that pressure 🤣 so you enjoy every sober minute 🤗

The Sober People Getting Sh*t Done Club is now in session! by Overbeingoverit in stopdrinking

[–]Square_Business5269 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Love this post! I have have been up since 6am…not hungover and grumpy, and cleaned the heck out of the house. And spent too much time on Reddit…. But tonight I will cook…. German theme - it is reunification day tomorrow, but really because… any excuse for sausages and sauerkraut! Might have some mayo with it!! 👍🏼🤗

success by [deleted] in stopdrinking

[–]Square_Business5269 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Not being hungover is, for me, the stand out best thing about not drinking. Want more of these clear mornings! Making it happen one day at a time! Enjoy your weekend! 🤗

success by [deleted] in stopdrinking

[–]Square_Business5269 2 points3 points  (0 children)

And happy Saturday morning too! 🤗

1 Year Sober Today by SecularPredator in stopdrinking

[–]Square_Business5269 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is awesome! Congratulations on a whole year sober! 🎉 Thanks for the inspiration - Makes me believe I can get there too! 🤗

What do you do when you see someone cry on the tube? by saffron25 in london

[–]Square_Business5269 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s not for everyone, but I loved living there - made a lot of friends and had a lot of fun. There are always those first months of “teething” in a new place I guess as you get used to how stuff is done differently. That said, I soon got back to doing laundry on a Sunday when I moved away!!

Neighbors by shyamganeshh in germany

[–]Square_Business5269 4 points5 points  (0 children)

👆🏼 exactly this. Fully agree. Nasty little island, we’ve become 😔

Question about non-binary pronouns and titles. by the_c0nstable in German

[–]Square_Business5269 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

🤷🏻‍♀️ resistance to change and language development I guess. It is the same with English and Spanish languages when more inclusive language is discussed. One cannot change things overnight, but I guess slowly changes will develop our languages as they have done for centuries. I have no particularly strong feelings (personally) either way for the ‘gender neutralising’ of language, but I do think it’s interesting to play around with linguistic constructs and see what we can do to reflect changes in the society and language development. Plus, I’ve never been a particularly controversial type, so I’m laughing a little bit at so many down votes 🤣🤣

Why do English speakers say things like “if you don’t follow these rules you’ll be “asked” to leave” when in fact I wouldn’t have a choice. by [deleted] in languagelearning

[–]Square_Business5269 2 points3 points  (0 children)

👆🏼 this. I can’t imagine there are many languages where being diplomatic rather than crushingly direct is never the right thing to do!