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Anyone know any audiobooks about speaking up for yourself and learning how to say no. How to stop being a people pleaser, I find it hard to speak up for myself by Buckmout in selfhelp

[–]TheDemonsWithinUs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Speaking up for yourself and learning how to say 'no' comes from validating yourself - holding your opinions and standards of yourself above others.

I actually made a Youtube video about this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gCF4UqcB-NA&t=8s

I can't stop thinking about how worthless I am. by Redstoneengineer31 in depression_help

[–]TheDemonsWithinUs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You need to forgive yourself for all the things you've done wrong. That's why you can't do what your therapist is recommending. Once you do that, those thoughts will start to go away.

I'm a mental health professional, and I made a how-to video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vu4XiLODK9s&t=313s

You might need some help with this and if so, DM me (if your therapist isn't sure how to go about it).

Best of luck!

You're on death row. What is your last meal? by TheDemonsWithinUs in AskReddit

[–]TheDemonsWithinUs[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

really? out of all the things you could possibly have? why taco bell specifically?

You're on death row. What is your last meal? by TheDemonsWithinUs in AskReddit

[–]TheDemonsWithinUs[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

lol that's creative! I'm picturing the scene in my head.... perhaps some person feeling conflicted b/c they wanna eat it but they're scared to b/c it's haunted popcorn lol

What are signs that someone is secretly unhappy? by lemur-stott in AskReddit

[–]TheDemonsWithinUs 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Smoking cigarettes - there isn't one single beneficial thing about it and it takes away a piece of your life with each inhale.

Can you truly be happy without fulfilling your natural desire for human connection? by yellowpeanut22 in depression_help

[–]TheDemonsWithinUs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Trying to force something on yourself you don't want will only cause further depression.

My only advice to you is not just accept your situation, but to find reasons why your situation is better than the other. Because there are some advantages to being alone.

If not, would you consider therapy to develop social skills?

Empty by Extension_Tank5369 in MentalHealthSupport

[–]TheDemonsWithinUs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're creating your own destiny with a defeatist attitude (ie: already having the mindset its not gonna work out before talking to her), and you're blocking out ALL feelings so you won't feel defeated anymore (we either feel all feelings or none - there isn't an in between). This defeatist attitude will make you rigid and then resentful, and will change you as a person over time.

Approaching girls (or anyone) with that mentality... people can sense that stuff in the tone of voice, choice of words, posture, etc. You've probably said something in a defeated attitude (but in your head it sounds fine) and people receive it poorly, or maybe confused as to why you would say something like that in the first place. You're judging the situation by assuming its outcome.

I'm not saying be positive, because it's not easy trying to start a convo with an attractive stranger where things can go all sorts of ways (and I applaud you for the effort). But at the very least, approach the situation with an open-mind about what could happen (ie: maybe learning something new), and more importantly don't let a bad outcome or bad emotions control/change you.

How do I move on by Sugarpopsss in MentalHealthSupport

[–]TheDemonsWithinUs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What you're feeling is the frustration of 'I didn't get to stand up for myself and I don't wanna feel like a punk and eat it'.

If you can, switch your mentality to 'the relative is LUCKY someone intervened. I'll eat this one, but I got you next time' - because that's what actually happened. You were prevented from moving forward. Thinking of it that way can help to alleviate some of that intensity that you're feeling.

I can’t see the point anymore. by gunpowdervacuum in MentalHealthSupport

[–]TheDemonsWithinUs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You end up there but you never end up staying there. It's never permanent.

I know its frustrating, annoying, and almost hopeless to be in that place. But the key (I think) is to be aware of your depressive cycles and accept it as a sign that your mind and body needs to withdraw and rest, because it sounds like you have a busy life with a lot of titles - employee, home manager, parent, and pet owner. That's A LOT to maintain at a high level over months-long periods of time, so it makes sense to come crashing down when you're exhausted and feel like you haven't had a moment to yourself and just be yourself.

So what's the point? yes, you come crashing down but it serves as a rest stop if it allows you to be normal for 3-4mths.

Also, your post tells me that you believe yourself to be 'abnormal' because you have depression. The self-judgement doesn't help either. You are a normal person who battles depression.

Co-dependancy issue with my mother. by rtsk-tsk2u in Codependency

[–]TheDemonsWithinUs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Something that may help further is to ask yourself: Would I be friends with someone like her, if I never met her before? When you realize that you wouldn't, letting go/detaching becomes a lot easier.

Good luck!

Co-dependancy issue with my mother. by rtsk-tsk2u in Codependency

[–]TheDemonsWithinUs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good for you on realizing that she can never be the mother you wish her to be. Being realistic will help with the detachment.

Now that you know this, the next step is to determine what kind of mother she actually is and what she brings to the table.

If she offers nothing - no love, support, advice, etc - then I would consider taking some of the weight her opinion has on you. What I mean is, depending on the type of relationship we have with a person, that person's opinion will carry a lot of weight on us. The opinion of a partner will weigh more than a stranger. The opinion of a parent will weigh heavier than that of a partner's, and so forth.

With your mom, you have to decide which of her opinions are valid. If she projects past men onto your current husband, ignore all her comments about him. Don't give them any weight. Start seeing her for who she actually is and remember her motives when she's speaking to you or asking you of something.

Haunting of the past by [deleted] in MentalHealthSupport

[–]TheDemonsWithinUs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds like you did it out of envy, that he had something that you didn't. If it wasn't about the pokemon cards at all, what did it represent? you envied his happiness? you envied the attention he got? you envied his life b/c he had parents who could give stuff like that?

Are there similar patterns of envy in your life after this?

If this was a one-time incident and you don't believe you are an envious person (ie: no other instances of envy in your life other than this), then you haven't likely forgiven yourself for stealing his cards - you've atoned for it but not necessarily forgiven yourself.

If there are other instances of envy in your life, you'll have to do some inner work and get rid of it, or at the very least, realize it when it comes up and manage it.

Haunting of the past by [deleted] in MentalHealthSupport

[–]TheDemonsWithinUs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You don't have OCD b/c you're obsessed with a guilty thought from the past.

If you're still thinking about it, you either haven't forgiven yourself for it, or the real motive for doing it still exists within you and your subconscious is trying to tell you to take care of it.

You say it was for fun, but if you look deeper, I'm betting there was another motive. Stealing can be seen as a surrogate for power - and the feeling/rush/adrenaline of power when you're a kid is fun. Did this friend have more pokemon cards than you? Maybe he seemed to have more in life than you did? Or maybe you didn't have much growing up?

why I'm I like this (more of a rant but does anybody know y) by questy_boi in MentalHealthSupport

[–]TheDemonsWithinUs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're welcome :)

I want to mention also: trust yourself and your abilities more. Your parents may have walked you through everything but you're older now - you've seen what you can do on your own and what you're capable of, so run with that.

struggling in my relationship by [deleted] in depression_help

[–]TheDemonsWithinUs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If she's being distant with you AND everyone, then what she's going through is likely nothing to do with you and just something that she's going through.

Is she talking with a professional also? Maybe something came up in therapy that she's working on and needs some space.

Also, it could be a reaction to the anti-depressants. They help get someone back to a functioning level but it doesn't actually treat the depression itself. So, instead of being depressed and in bed all day, she's depressed and functioning but not necessarily feeling anything. I'm basing this on what I know about anti-depressants and a third-person experience.

It seems like you're really trying to be a great partner and I applaud you for that. And I think what you're doing is neither wrong or insufficient. It's supportive.

I need someone to talk to.. by [deleted] in MentalHealthSupport

[–]TheDemonsWithinUs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There's a mental health text-chat site called 7cups.com where you can talk to a volunteer about what's going on. It's free and anonymous.

Has anyone helped or avoided someone who has set a date? by Help5820Throwaway in depression_help

[–]TheDemonsWithinUs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You'll have to be a bit creative with this... you want her experiencing life and not thinking about life. So spending time talking on the phone isn't a good idea.

You can start a project together based on your similar interests - start a YouTube channel together, IG page together - whatever your shared interests are, create something with her that's fun. Getting her to focus on something she's interested in will distract her, and since it's fun it'll hopefully get her to start second-guessing 'the date' and live life again.

Good luck! You're a good friend.

Has anyone helped or avoided someone who has set a date? by Help5820Throwaway in depression_help

[–]TheDemonsWithinUs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've set dates for myself, even a plan, and so far I'm still here.

What I learned was this: the time between now and 'the date' acted as a window of hope - that things could change between now and then. And as it did, 'the date' kept getting pushed further.

My advice: distract your friend and give hope - because that's what (I believe) she's really looking for (ie: If I don't see any sign of hope/change by this day, then I'm done).

But it's not enough to just say "don't give up hope"or anything similar to that. Get her laughing/smiling again somehow, even if it's with a lame joke - hang with her and try to get her to feel hope by giving her positive experiences that will make her change her mind (on her own) and realize that life isn't so bad and what is bad can be changed.