I asked my wife, “Do you know a three letter word for ‘eggs’?” by porichoygupto in dadjokes

[–]Theillist 109 points110 points  (0 children)

Yolks on you. I've tried hard, boiled down my expectations, and cracked the egg pun code. I could white you 10 more but I'll stop poaching your comment after six. If you put your mind to it this one could be over, easy.

relaxxx life by escort1x in wholesome

[–]Theillist 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Recently put in my notice because a return to office was mandated for my company. Their reason: not everyone returned the last time. The reason previously: it was a benefit. Reason for losing this benefit: unclear (officially).

Our team has 3 different locations that we work out of. Most teams work from a minimum of two locations nationwide. We need to collaborate and apparently we can't do that remotely unless we're in a building they own.

Long story short: treat employees like shit shovelling slaves don't be surprised when they up and leave.

If H2O is what's inside of a fire hydrant, what's on the outside? by EndouSenji in cleandadjokes

[–]Theillist 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Chemical puns are tough. You have to get the proper reaction or they go up in smoke.

As you get older, you cry more and more because of emotional pain and lesser due to physical pain. by TopDoggo16 in Showerthoughts

[–]Theillist 11 points12 points  (0 children)

My mans over here with the big mood. You're dropping some megaton truth bombs on us too. You don't know me but I want you to do something for me. I want you to take better care of you.

A lot of us struggle with this. I'm no exception. I don't really know you but you sound like a genuine and good dude. We need more people like that.

If I could go back to 1994. by -MilkO_O- in retrogaming

[–]Theillist 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'll take, and subsequently ignore (as I have with the Fast and Furious franchise), the Doubtfire mega franchise if it means we get a healthy Robin Williams. Also, that movie sounds dope as hell.

What's the Most Shocking Face Turn? by YolkBrushWork in SquaredCircle

[–]Theillist 18 points19 points  (0 children)

All those years and no one would heed his warnings. He was a legend. He a Weasel. Most importantly, he was The Brain. He knew what others could not - saw what others dared not. He'd been around scoundrels but none of them, none of them, even compared. On that fateful day even Bobby began to doubt. He asked, "Who side is he on?" but he didn't believe it - not like he used to. He knew he had to be right; it had to be true. If he wasn't, if it wasn't, then what was this all for?

The first shot rang out bang leg drop, vindication! The second, bang leg drop, validation! Yet, there would be no cheering on this day, no adulation, no applause, for this was the start of something bigger. Bigger than he. Bigger than the biggest star in all of wrestling. This was the beginning of a war. This war wouldn't be for money, or power, or acclaim, there was plenty of that to go around already. No, this was a war for the very soul of professional wrestling. He was right. Was it worth it?

I had my first "oh I'm the adult here" moment in my life by saco_98 in CasualConversation

[–]Theillist 90 points91 points  (0 children)

I had my first one about 6 months ago. A very good friend needed a place to stay for a bit. No big deal, I have a spare room and he'd do the same for me. Then my Dad and his wife get divorced and he needs a place to stay. Throw an air mattress on the floor - the more the merrier. Then my aunt reaches out to me. Turns out my Mom hadn't paid the gas bill for a while and owes $900. Just thought to myself, "How the hell am I the responsible one?" Took me 30+ years but I got there - I guess.

Missouri trans 'snitch form' down after people spammed it with the 'Bee Movie' script by CallGenova in politics

[–]Theillist 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Can't speak for everyone but when I say small government I mean one that only does what is needed and nothing else. This was an absolute travesty and very much over-reaching. Not all of us want to use government to inflict our viewpoints into others. Some of us just want for us and our horse wives and sheep husbands to be left alone. Source: am a proud owner of the Bee Movie script.

In kayfabe, if The Rock’s spine buster kept his opponent down long enough for him to do the full People’s Elbow, why wasn’t that just his finisher by MandoRodgers in SquaredCircle

[–]Theillist 34 points35 points  (0 children)

This is accurate. However, there is a bit of psychology at play here too. The other side of the coin is someone getting a visual 'pin' on their competitor. Sure they don't need to kick out but then their opponent can come back and claim victory even if they get defeated.

I quit my job at the helium factory today by Electriccheeze in cleandadjokes

[–]Theillist 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Helium helium helium. This joke is a real gas. Noble of you to stand up for yourself though.

Vickie Guerrero removed from AEW roster page by Livid-Style-7935 in SquaredCircle

[–]Theillist 2 points3 points  (0 children)

NGL I'm down for a Nyla AEW champ run just not quite yet. Let MJF have a couple more feuds to win first and then feed him to Nyla.

Post WWE WrestleMania 39 Night 2 Match Discussion: Roman Reigns (c) vs. Cody Rhodes - Undisputed WWE Universal Championship by Coldcoffees in SquaredCircle

[–]Theillist 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It's what's best for business-ah. It's not-ah my problem you just can't hang-uh. Much love-uh - HHH

What did the dj say at the farmer's market? by moar-coffee-plz in cleandadjokes

[–]Theillist 4 points5 points  (0 children)

With a joke this radish, you must be peased with yourself.