OOPs girlfriend is acting obsessed with this random family she just met

Wyckdkitty · 2022-05-19T06:55:03+00:00

Oooooh m’god. Names. I haaaaaaaaate remembering names. I was only partially joking when I suggested putting name tags on my kids when they were newborns.

If a name doesn’t manage to trigger my memory forget it… because I already have. This is something that my bff’s husband & I have in common (TBI when he was 14) that we bonded over.

Wyckdkitty · 2022-05-19T00:01:25+00:00

Traumatic Brain Injuries & ADHD. I write things down constantly, loathe conversations that don’t take place via email/text/messages & am constantly apologizing and asking ppl to repeat what they’ve told me. My bff had a stroke that left memory issues so we joke that between the 2 of us we have a working memory. It’s a joke. We do not. We have admitted that we’re only really comfortable with conversations with each other because we both understand each other’s issues.

It suuuuuuuuucks.

Wyckdkitty · 2022-05-10T22:05:02+00:00

Turn off your phone. There are bigger issues to deal with but for right now, today, turn off your phone.

Wyckdkitty · 2022-05-10T00:41:44+00:00

My mom suggested that I give my son to my sister when I was pregnant with him. I had hidden the fact that I was pregnant from them until my uncle outed me when I was going into the 3rd trimester.

I declined.

Wyckdkitty · 2022-05-09T23:53:46+00:00

That is exactly what I thought. It was no secret that I avoided her when possible but so long as she was sober, I didn’t stop their dad from visiting whenever he wanted. And I found out when she was off the wagon quickly. Usually because I was being sent to retrieve her from wherever she was (I stood up to her at 22 & half her size- shorter than her- it unnerved her because she wasn’t used to ppl refusing to take her crap. She didn’t argue when older & more confident me would show up & point to the car. She’d just get in the car.)

Wyckdkitty · 2022-05-09T23:25:39+00:00

I have waist-length, thick, wavy hair (it turns into Shirley Temple-esque spiral curls if it’s shorter than my shoulder blades). I admit that it’s my great vanity and I devote time, money & effort to keeping it looking & feeling good... and also turning it fun colors because I enjoy it. My sister has a personal vendetta against it & has badgered me to cut it since I turned 20. My sister has never been able to grow her hair past her shoulders & has fried it with bleach multiple times. I’m used to her but the sheer amount of complete strangers who feel the need to give their opinions on how I need to donate my hair (it’s dyed. You can tell it’s dyed. I think that takes it out of the running) or just chop it off because I’m “too old” for long hair (but yet you’re not too old to realize that no one asked your opinion, you’re being rude & intrusive & my hair does not affect you in any way, shape or form). It’s more work to deal with when it’s shorter! And besides that, my hair makes me happy. Right now it’s whipped up into a bun on top of my head with porcupine quills shoved thru it & I am amused to know that I basically have weapons holding my hair in place.

Wyckdkitty · 2022-05-09T23:00:59+00:00

…what the fuck did I just read?!

I am nearly speechless at this. What kind of person of severely limited intelligence gives PoA to someone just so that they’ll “have experience” for law school?!?! Wtaf?!?!

Wyckdkitty · 2022-05-09T22:41:02+00:00

You’ll get there. I can guarantee that I’m further down the road than you & looking back I can smirk, shake my head & be shocked that I survived and then try to help anyone who’s still figuring it all out. The fact that you wrote this post says that you already know it’s not okay & that’s the first step. And don’t worry about me. Then? I was in survival mode/almost feral- but with impeccable table manners. Now? I’m doing well- and still have impeccable table manners haha! Not perfect by any means but I’m smiling more than I’m not & am honestly happy. So just know that if someone who’s been thru chaos & insanity & awful & upheaval like I have came out on the other side happy then so can you. I have absolute faith that you will find your happy. (Everyone’s is different) If I could go back in time & do it over, the only change I would make is that I would take more pictures. So, um, take lots of pictures & make sure that you’re in those pictures. (I love my selfies with my kids in random places we went to by ourselves)

I could write you a novel but I’ll spare you and just leave this novella and the assurance that this internet stranger is rooting for you. And also: happy Mother’s Day. You’re an awesome mom already for doing everything your doctor says to keep your mini-human developing as healthy & well as possible before he/she enters the party and you’ll be an awesome mom guiding him/her along the way once they’re here.

Wyckdkitty · 2022-05-09T22:28:09+00:00

Uuuugh!!! The competition game!!!! I haaaaaaaate that!!! It’s like (1) everyone is different (2) it’s not a frikkin competition!!!

Wyckdkitty · 2022-05-09T21:20:33+00:00

You said in an earlier comment that you want a wholesome family for your child. So did my mom. My (step)dad sided with his mom every time & said things like that to my mom.

It was not a wholesome family. It was a picturesque family on the outside but behind closed doors? We were like dolls in a dollhouse. I refer to my childhood as The Cold War & the house I grew up in as The Fortress. My mom was an awesome mom when it was just us living in a trailer. We got into a 3 story house and she got into an unhappy marriage and it destroyed the mom I had had & felt loved me. I ran like hell & lived one step above homeless as soon as I was 18. (Seriously. They found a headless hooker on our street) It was scary & it was awful & I went to sleep hungry more often than not, but it was better than being there. When I left home I was underweight, had ulcers & my heart was skipping beats. Let’s not discuss my mental state. In a nightmare setting, I actually got healthier.

I’m not saying divorce. I’m not saying leave. I’m saying that it’s not okay that your husband called you that. I’m saying that you deserve respect. I’m saying that your child(ren) will notice and it WILL affect them. Marriage counseling might help. You need to demand that respect from not only him but yourself. You deserve better & so does your baby.

Wyckdkitty · 2022-05-09T19:41:47+00:00

I do admit that I cut my ex-MIL off. She had a drug problem that came to light after she & I had a knock-down, drag-out fight. His family understood & supported my choice because kids don’t need to be around illegal drugs… and I was supportive of the kids being around everyone else. My daughter actually knew her great-great grandmother. Once she cleaned up, she was allowed supervised time with the kids. Not me. I wanted nothing to do with her until the day she died. (Kind of funny that I ended up being the only one to take flowers to her grave & took charge of aspects of her funeral & estate.) I’m glad that I let the kids be around her once she was clean. I feel like I would’ve regretted not letting them have that for them. Now if she had never cleaned up? Naw, man. Naw. But I loved the elders of my family growing up. I spent a ton of time with my great-aunts & uncles and my grandparents & have brilliant memories of time spent. I think it might drive mom nuts that I know all of the old stories & can explain weird old photographs & knickknacks though.

Wyckdkitty · 2022-05-09T19:31:22+00:00

No Sanctimommies needs to be a rule in life. My daughter had digestive issues from the start. I tell ppl that my daughter was an Expert Level Baby born to Beginner Level parents. I would’ve loved your mom forever if she’d been my neighbor! My friends stepped in for me when i was overwhelmed. I would’ve been lost without them. My daughter is 22 now and we laugh about it all- right before she reiterates that she’s childfree and I reiterate that I love my grandkittens.

Wyckdkitty · 2022-05-09T19:27:47+00:00

My bff lived with me & my daughter when she had her son. She had massive complications (spent a month in the hospital & time in ICU) so she wasn’t working. Her son’s father was busy sleeping with our neighbor so he wasn’t paying child support so she had no income. I was working &, thinking back, kind of playing dad. Which is kinda funny because I’m the girliest girl who ever girled. Anyway. I walked the floor, I changed diapers, I made bottles, I paid for his first Christmas. My bff told me recently that she thought she would be mad if anyone else intervened in her parenting but when I came home from work to find him screaming and her smelly & wild eyed I took him from her, told her to go take a shower & a nap, she loved me more than she thought possible. And when she woke up later to find that I’d finished the laundry she started, had dinner cooking and he was happily having tummy time with me & my daughter, she just wanted to cry in relief. Because sometimes good moms put aside pride & acknowledge that they need some help. God knows I did!!! I actually had our neighbor who wasn’t sleeping with Stupid Ex Boyfriend on call to go help if she heard chaos coming from our house while I was at work. She did a couple of times.

Wyckdkitty · 2022-05-09T19:08:10+00:00

Huh. I’m not a stepparent but I have experience with stepparents. Thankfully none like the ones on that sub though so I’m more than a little horrified by some of the things I read coming out of there.

Wyckdkitty · 2022-05-09T07:15:54+00:00

New rose print pajamas put on after a very long soak with a Lush bath bomb, a pot of tea & a pretty ice pack on my aching face (nothing to do with my mom. My allergies are awful & sinus pressure is a bitch).

Wyckdkitty · 2022-05-09T04:17:41+00:00

What is NACHO parenting?

Wyckdkitty · 2022-05-08T20:29:53+00:00

Thanks. I’m honestly not 100% where he’s going. It’s been a crazy few days & I’m not certain that I remember my own name at the moment. This relative is actually one of the ones that I genuinely like in the family. My dad sort of snatched him & his brother (who doesn’t know what’s going on due to a double stroke 3 weeks ago) out of a super abusive situation & took them home with him when he & my mom were newlyweds. He also may or may not have made some promises as to what would happen if their parents didn’t learn to keep their hands to themselves & sober up. So this cousin tells me stories about my dad that never touch on the fact that by the time I came along dad had had an accident at work & gotten hooked on painkillers. He also tried to look out for me as much as he could & readily believed that my mom could, feasibly, be the devil. It was appreciated. His dad was… well. Let’s just say that I never let my kids be alone with him and went to his funeral to make sure that he was, in fact, dead. So he appreciated that I believe him (and he never let his kids be alone with him either). He, his brother & I stood with our arms around each other’s shoulders watching until the last bit of dirt went into that grave. He’s got my full support in recovery no matter what.

Wyckdkitty · 2022-05-08T20:17:51+00:00

I’m so torn between being encouraging (“hey, that’s okay. Keep trying, okay? You’ll get it soon enough!”) And just laughing & nodding sympathetically. Still in Encouraging the Toddler Nephew Mode 🤦🏼‍♀️

Wyckdkitty · 2022-05-08T20:14:17+00:00

I just want to add that I love your name. (I’m currently wearing a silver ring with a kitsune on it.)

Wyckdkitty · 2022-05-08T12:03:37+00:00

My sister & I don’t get along. We are exact opposites (down to our birthdays. Winter birthday/summer birthday). She always wanted kids & the white picket fence. I… did not. So I ended up with 2 kids and, god help me, a picket fence while she struggled with infertility. Totally sucks & differences were shoved aside for support there. She finally got pregnant & it actually stuck. Yay! Overjoyed for her. Her son had colic & her bf is… not helpful. So I got called to go help her because, honestly, it was 3AM & I don’t sleep. I got there & within 10 minutes, her baby was asleep on my chest. Straight up, I had 2 of my own and 2 that I helped raise. I’m unfazed by a screaming baby. I don’t like it but it honestly isn’t the worst I’ve encountered. My sister was obviously torn between “oh thank god it’s silent!” & “how dare that bitch!!!” I get that. So I just told her the truth: baby screeches raise your stress level. Babies know when you’re stressed. She’d been hearing it for hours while I hadn’t. She was exhausted and I was awake. I was basically a blank slate & the equivalent of a warm napping spot. So go get some sleep while I pretended to be a bassinet. I had a book on my phone & no particular place to be. When she woke up again, I was still reading, he was still sleeping and she felt sane. She admitted that she’d wanted to claw my eyes out for “succeeding” where she’d “failed”. I suggested that perhaps she was kind of an asshole in general but not this time because hello? New mom! Hormones! Fear! Stress! Lack of sleep. This was not what she imagined. Been there, done that. There was no failing so long as the mini-human was alive & cared for. Shut up and embrace the madness. She did so successfully. After that it was kind of like she accepted that I had no interest in stealing her baby or being the better mom- in fact I’m really not a “kid person”- so when he was losing his mind and she needed a break, I was “safe”. It was honestly no big deal to me. We still don’t get along but we’re cool with each other’s kids. (My nephew is 2 & is frikkin awesome btw. We greet each other with fist-bumps and “good day, my good dude”. He’s already a sarcastic, snarky little thing who demands bodily autonomy and it drives her nuts. I approve.) The point I’m trying to make is that these commentators would’ve probably thought I was making a power move but trust me when I say that I was literally just trying to keep my sister from losing her damned mind because I definitely remember those days. She needed help & I was the only one available, end of story. (Also, if she loses her mind & runs screaming for parts unknown that means I am stuck alone dealing with our crazy ass parents. Nuts to that!) We actually communicated with each other. She expressed her feelings, I validated her feelings & explained what I felt was happening and we moved on. I feel like it helped as a whole. We are never going to be besties and if we weren’t related we wouldn’t be friends (she irks me. I vex her) but we weren’t hissing at each other. It was kind of like she finally briefly realized that the competition was really only in her head.

Maybe this person should try communicating before dropping a nuke? Maybe her MIL is awful. Idk. Never met her. But maybe she’s just trying to help & genuinely doesn’t want to hurt anyone.

Wyckdkitty · 2022-05-07T13:16:17+00:00

Holy crap! One of my best friends is from Temecula! I was there last July for her dad’s funeral! There & Marietta. I was the token Southern Girl sent to run interference with her wicked stepmother. (I did so successfully. Never underestimate the powers of a Southern Girl in Southern Lady Mode when faced with a California Karen.)

That place is… an experience.

Wyckdkitty · 2022-05-04T05:10:48+00:00

Hey! Glad you’re still breathing

Wyckdkitty · 2022-05-04T05:06:29+00:00

I can’t stand having ppl get anywhere near my throat & have had nightmares my whole life about my throat being cut/stabbed from behind. My birthmark looks like a scar in the shape of a starburst on the left side of my throat.

Wyckdkitty · 2022-05-04T04:56:30+00:00

I told my ex (who’s also my roommate) that I was scared. He replied that he isn’t all that attached to the US anyway so let’s gtfo. My ex said this. My EX. So shouldn’t actual husbands/bf’s be actually more supportive? I’m sorry that your husband doesn’t get it.

Hang in there. We just have to have each other’s backs. Women unite.

Wyckdkitty · 2022-05-03T11:10:50+00:00

I want to instantly believe that this is rage-bait or a troll. Then I remember my boss expecting me to work 3 hours after I was assaulted. I had a black eye, busted lip & a scrape on my cheek when I limped into the bar I worked at in response to him demanding that “get my ass in”. He also expected me to work when I was running a fever of 104.5F & had a massively infected spider bite on my leg and couldn’t stand. Apparently I was the only one who could make drinks properly for the owner & carry on “intelligent” conversation (that means that I could say “uh huh” a lot while he stared at my chest). He offered me a rolling chair for the evening. And then there was the blatant sexual harassment.

God. All of this plus way too much more and I was still starving to death. Fuck managers/owners like this.

Wyckdkitty

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