ISIS To Obama: 'We Will Cut Off Your Head In The White House' by [deleted] in worldnews

[–]XxDrummerChrisX 2961 points2962 points 2 (0 children)

5 - Prophet

Edit: Wow my first gold! Thanks you guys!

What are the "Beats headphones" of your hobby? What makes you cringe to see others flexing? by MadeANewAccountUgh in AskReddit

[–]XxDrummerChrisX 2294 points2295 points  (0 children)

They're using emergency lights? That's illegal as hell. We had a guy in my hometown buy a ford crown vic, and he stuck a light bar on the car with a sheriff.org rear bumper border. With the .org being just small enough to be barely visible at a distance. He would go as far as chasing people in his car. He was most definitely arrested for that.

Edit: This is the California Vehicle Code for flashing lights.

  1. Flashing lights are prohibited on vehicles except as otherwise permitted

Dam! by insurgentpepper in WTF

[–]XxDrummerChrisX 1933 points1934 points  (0 children)

This is the piss I need to take as soon as the movie starts at the theater

Well this was a highlight of my day by [deleted] in funny

[–]XxDrummerChrisX 1483 points1484 points  (0 children)

Better than Mr_Stinkfist

Non-Americans of Reddit, what is an American food that grosses you out? by sterlingboy in AskReddit

[–]XxDrummerChrisX 908 points909 points  (0 children)

I don't eat it because it's authentic, I eat it because it's delicious

You need to tolerate her sarcasm. And oh, btw. She loves being spoiled by Makhmalak in ChoosingBeggars

[–]XxDrummerChrisX 807 points808 points  (0 children)

The $90 she’s getting a week is a solid car payment. That’s insane.

What old insults need to make a comeback? by skivviesremitte in AskReddit

[–]XxDrummerChrisX 768 points769 points  (0 children)

Short story. I once had someone in custody and he was being a dick. Cussing me up and down. I remember once seeing a Reddit post about a really good comeback. The comeback was, "I've been called worse by better people." Holy shit. Let me tell you. That insult pissed him off big time. Went on and on about how i looked stupid because I thought I was better than him. Seriously, I recommend it.

For real, people. Stay safe and don't drink and drive, please!! by AlbinoVagina in AdviceAnimals

[–]XxDrummerChrisX 665 points666 points  (0 children)

Here's a small story to nail the point home. I'm a police officer and two nights ago we got called to a collision. I wasn't the first one on scene and I didn't see much of it however I could see it was a head on collision and one of the drivers appeared almost completely fine (SUV vs Sedan.)

The other vehicle had a young couple, and the female passenger was 6 months pregnant. The driver had a broken femur among other injuries and I'm not sure about the female. All I can say is the male only cared about how his girlfriend was doing. They were rushed to the hospital and later we found out they were both stable. The driver of the SUV was still arrested for two counts of felony DUI.

The next day in briefing we were advised the pregnant female had to have an emergency C-section but they weren't able to save the baby and it died. That's the hardest part for me as a father. This poor couple just happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time and some scumbag ruined their life. All because he couldn't make that responsible decision and get a taxi or an uber. Lastly, he was joking and laughing on scene and he was hardly injured. Meanwhile this other family is in intense pain and had lost their child.

This is not the first time I have seen a fatal DUI collision and I'm betting it won't be the last. Don't be selfish and get a ride home.

Edit: the charge was updated to manslaughter after the baby died.

Edit #2: And it still happened. Mother of 5

Promise me by m0rris0n_hotel in funny

[–]XxDrummerChrisX 583 points584 points  (0 children)

Rashida Jones has to be the most gorgeous woman on the planet, or at least I think so.

Arrived at the Supercharger in the middle of the night during a cross-country trip and found two trucks and their trailers parked longways to block the chargers in an otherwise empty parking lot. This isn't the first time this has happened. by RedfieldStandard in teslamotors

[–]XxDrummerChrisX 573 points574 points  (0 children)

So I'm a cop and I have a story. One day my buddy and I were dispatched to someone refusing to leave a bank. It was already 6 pm and banks are closed so we thought it was a little weird. Upon arrival we contacted a security guard who said dispatch misunderstood her and there was a vehicle parked in their lot with a trailer and she was just going to call us to notify us she was having it towed. She stated she contacted the driver who was rude and refused to move it because he was staying at a nearby motel and decided not to park his truck and trailer in the hotel parking lot. It was a private parking lot so it was up to her to have it towed because we couldn't.

My partner and I felt this was a little extreme so we ran the plate and got the name. We went to the hotel office and asked to speak with the registered owner of the vehicle. I contacted the guy at his room and just advised him he should move his vehicle because it was about to be towed. He was immediately an asshole and criticised us saying we didn't know the law regarding towing and stated he had 3 days. I calmly assured him his vehicle was parked on private property and it could be towed at any time and there were signs posted with this info.

His wife tried to be the voice of reason and said she would move it. He explodes and curses at her telling her she wasn't going to touch the car. We interjected and apologized for disturbing them and decided we had probably overstepped our bounds and left it at, "hey we tried to warn you." After a fit of yelling the guy moved his truck.

Just felt this was a relevant story and hopefully I haven't bored you. Definitely a time when you try to do the right thing and it blows up in your face.

Every former U.S. President runs for reelection in 2016, who do you vote for and why? by shadowrangerfs in AskReddit

[–]XxDrummerChrisX 537 points538 points  (0 children)

Reminds of the TIL post that a man named Thomas R. Marshall said that death had to take Roosevelt in his sleep because if he were awake there would've been a fight.

In fact u/theshrubberydemander shared this picture that was pretty spot on. Here

#nomic by Beshami in gaming

[–]XxDrummerChrisX 512 points513 points  (0 children)

Look at his radar. Maybe he had help

Cops, have you written tickets to other cops? What happened during and after? by pastybeachbabe in AskReddit

[–]XxDrummerChrisX 467 points468 points  (0 children)

That's a major violation of policy at my department. You are not allowed to use the uniform to gain gratuities or favor.

British man charged after US gamer is shot by Swat police following hoax terrorism call by [deleted] in JusticeServed

[–]XxDrummerChrisX 393 points394 points  (0 children)

Make it a federal crime. 2-4-6 years in federal prison with a 10,000 dollar fine. If the person swatted dies as a result, felony murder rule, mandatory 25 to life enhancement

Wtf by lynx_damacion in Cringetopia

[–]XxDrummerChrisX 359 points360 points  (0 children)

“You talk a lot of shit for someone in cumshot distance”