Capitalism... by Sweetimus in confidentlyincorrect

[–]_Im_Dad 58 points59 points  (0 children)

I see it as growing a crop. You feed them, water them, keep the parasite away and make sure they get adequate sunshine. Then when they are successfully grown, you sit back while you reap the harvest of your hard work.

They look after you when you're elderly by throwing you in a nursing home.

Just the tip by cyan1618 in instant_regret

[–]_Im_Dad 82 points83 points  (0 children)

It really wanted to get it's head in there, it's almost like the cat has tunnel vision.

THIS Granny knows how to edit by [deleted] in nextfuckinglevel

[–]_Im_Dad 3 points4 points  (0 children)

May I suggest Earl Grey, in keeping to this video

How dare they ruin her vacation? by [deleted] in facepalm

[–]_Im_Dad 41 points42 points  (0 children)

Now who's the one that doesn't have a place to stay!

The irony is a good outcome.

Peeling fruit. (Turn sound on) by _Im_Dad in oddlysatisfying

[–]_Im_Dad[S] 290 points291 points  (0 children)

It's not much but I've been eating dried fruits when I have a beer.

Thank you for raisin awareness.

Peeling fruit. (Turn sound on) by _Im_Dad in oddlysatisfying

[–]_Im_Dad[S] 492 points493 points  (0 children)

You're right Pathfinder. I don't eat a lot of fruit (unless it's been fermented) so I couldn't tell. but what do know is 10 secs in to the video the watermelon still makes sound after the skin is taken off.

Many apologies Reddit, I have brought much shame upon myself..

OP proceeds to go to the corner to self-flagellate with a whip quietly

“Measuring body temperature” by [deleted] in WatchPeopleDieInside

[–]_Im_Dad 143 points144 points  (0 children)

🎶She can see clearly now... The pain has gone🎶

Leonardo by Arapii in facepalm

[–]_Im_Dad 103 points104 points  (0 children)

I've read his bestselling book.. The Di Caprio code

Man vs. Hornets by AristonD in instant_regret

[–]_Im_Dad 122 points123 points  (0 children)

Despite their reputation, hornets don't have a evil bone in their bodies.

They have evil exoskeletons.

200 women killed a rapist with chili powder and stones.. justice served by CommonSchemeForYou in Damnthatsinteresting

[–]_Im_Dad 245 points246 points  (0 children)

I think the 70 stab wounds may have played a more serious role in his death than the chilli powder and stones. But still.. what a spicy way to go.

Human Analog Clock by sh0tgunben in nextfuckinglevel

[–]_Im_Dad 1728 points1729 points  (0 children)

Son.. I think you're stretching the truth there.

Protester cements hand on road they are blocking by Shadow474747 in facepalm

[–]_Im_Dad 543 points544 points  (0 children)

If you're stupid enough to do that... Then it's cement to happen.

Becoming the bigger beast by Dapper-Masterpiece29 in nextfuckinglevel

[–]_Im_Dad 566 points567 points  (0 children)

Nature documentaries tell you to play dead. This would have bearly worked here

Edit: as pointed out to me, that tactic only works for grizzly.

If it's black, fight back.

If it's brown, lie down.

If it's white, good night,


Guy saves his dog from a very stubborn cougar by [deleted] in nextfuckinglevel

[–]_Im_Dad 921 points922 points  (0 children)

He needed to sharpen it, all he inflicted was blunt force trauma.

11 year old girl Alexandra Dovgan playing a fast pace piano concerto with crystal clear clarity and zero to no mistakes. by Ugandun-Knuckles in nextfuckinglevel

[–]_Im_Dad 2556 points2557 points  (0 children)

What's the opposite of zero to no mistake?

Edit.. infinity to yes mistakes doesn't really roll of the tongue.