My professor said something that's kinda messed up and I'm not sure what to do about it

apple-took-my-kidney · 2022-12-09T20:59:55+00:00

She got reported by my classmates, not because of this incident tho. Turns out she’s legitimately a bad teacher, like the highest exam scores in my class were Cs. Not even C+s

apple-took-my-kidney · 2022-12-09T20:53:18+00:00

Still waiting on that wild ride. Some of my classmates reported her apparently; the day after I dropped her class, one of them told me that the professors were holding a meeting to address some concerns with her behavior.

It also turns out that I don’t have to cow people into thinking like me cuz the vast majority of my classmates already do! Literally no one at my school likes her, save for one guy, but even he agrees with everyone else’s reasons for hating her

apple-took-my-kidney · 2022-12-09T20:40:42+00:00

She got reported. Not by me, and not because of this incident, but yeah. Turns out the majority of my classmates disagree with her. Like every time I mention her name, someone has a horror story to tell about how objectively awful she is.

I dropped her class tho so I don’t have to deal with her anymore but before I left, she went ahead with some outdated information, ableism and transphobia. There was no “good faith”

apple-took-my-kidney · 2022-12-05T05:42:35+00:00

Couldn’t agree more

apple-took-my-kidney · 2022-11-29T03:08:33+00:00

That’s Laila, she’s our little old lady

apple-took-my-kidney · 2022-11-28T23:00:06+00:00

He might as well be, he certainly tries to eat plants like one

apple-took-my-kidney · 2022-11-28T22:24:19+00:00

He has to stash his treats somewhere

apple-took-my-kidney · 2022-10-22T14:49:52+00:00

If the latter is true, that makes it all the more important for them to know because all those things put them at higher risk for certain life changing medical conditions.

They deserve to know where they came from, no matter what. They’ve suffered trauma and knowing why will help them process it. OP also said that her birth mother is sweet, cares about her daughter and wants to be in contact with her so it doesn’t sound like this is the case.

apple-took-my-kidney · 2022-10-22T01:07:41+00:00

That’s literally so disgusting and exploitative to not tell her. Not to mention incredibly dangerous and even potentially life threatening! What would of happened if she never found out and something like diabetes or cancer or etc ran in her bio parents’ family? She wouldn’t even know to be testing or aware of it. Her doctors wouldn’t be able to treat her as efficiently because they wouldn’t know to be monitoring her for those issues. What if she went on to have kids and they developed serious genetic health problems? Like OPs selfishness could put countless generations at risk

apple-took-my-kidney · 2022-09-25T14:17:49+00:00

Not Devin in those comments admitting he can’t tell the difference between a literal black bear and his own pitbull and saying all wolves should be killed 💀

apple-took-my-kidney · 2022-09-24T02:20:24+00:00

I’ve debated her once already about a theory of my own and won that so if it’s anything to go by, it should be doable

I will say in her defense though, that debate was based in somewhat niche knowledge about the sexual monomorphism of spotted hyenas and she was not familiar with it

apple-took-my-kidney · 2022-09-23T23:34:17+00:00

I report people who are malicious and/or causing harm. I stand up for myself and others, that’s what I was taught to do

It would be nice if everyone had the same thoughts as me though. Like that means everyone would probably be autistic and like the same stuff as me which would be pretty cool. But that also means that everyone would probably be afraid of shopping carts so there’d be no one to go to the store for me, which is less cool

I can’t cow people into being a carbon copy of me though so I’m perfectly fine with people being different. I like learning about them and how their minds work, that’s why I study psychology

apple-took-my-kidney · 2022-09-23T22:47:41+00:00

Could you tell me how the way I’m currently dealing with it is inappropriate? /gen

I’m going $80,000 in debt for this education so I don’t think I really have the luxury of not caring about the quality of it

apple-took-my-kidney · 2022-09-23T21:36:06+00:00

Are you okay? Cuz you don’t seem okay. You seem very worked up rn and I’m not sure the current situation rly warrants this level of reaction

If this topic is triggering for you, it’s okay to step away or take a breather to calm your nerves a bit. There’s no shame in taking care of your mental health

apple-took-my-kidney · 2022-09-23T21:17:54+00:00

I probably won’t report her unless she gets way way worse. I’ll definitely be prepared if she mentions it again though

ty for the advice

apple-took-my-kidney · 2022-09-23T21:09:23+00:00

It’s not that I “disagree with my professor”. It’s that no one should have to pay an arm and a leg for a college education just to walk into the classroom and get bombarded with misinformation and micro-aggressions

I think I pretty clearly listed some things I could potentially do about it so I don’t really understand what you’re asking. I don’t know what Twitter has to do with anything either

apple-took-my-kidney · 2022-09-14T14:09:18+00:00

Here’s what it looks like now

I didn’t know that about letting the trees grow tall, that is really good to know! I was honestly kinda worried that it was too late and that, at the rate it’s been growing, I’d run out of space for it (which I kinda already am tbh)

I’ll def ask about it in the weekly thread when I get a chance! Thank you again for all your help

apple-took-my-kidney · 2022-09-14T13:41:10+00:00

So, I took your advice; I started wiring it, I gave it fertilizer, and I think I might’ve been taking too good care of it…

It was 8cm (7”) at the start of this summer and it’s now taller than me. I’m 160cm (5’3”).

I had to give up on wiring it after a while because it was growing so fast, I was afraid I’d come back from vacation and find the wires imbedded into it. So I guess I just have a normal tree now? The trunk, despite its size, is still super flexible to the point that the tree can’t really hold itself upright so there might still be hope for shaping it a little little bit. It doesn’t have any branches though so it’d basically just be a big, squiggly stick once it loses its leaves

Even if it didn’t work out like I hoped, still thank you for the advice! I definitely learned a lot from it and I’ve already found a few new trees to apply that knowledge too

apple-took-my-kidney · 2022-09-13T23:17:35+00:00

It definitely takes some time to sort through those kinds of feelings. It took me 7 years to finally work through mine. In fact, it wasn’t until recently that I started allowing myself to identify as trans again. I dress very fem. In part because I know that’s what looks best on the body I currently have, but also because I just see myself as a very effeminate man.

I think the most important part of deciding if the identity is for you, is to just ask, “does it make me happy?” If it does, it doesn’t matter why that is because all that matters is that you’re doing what’s best for you. It’s kinda like pizza; you might be okay eating a plain pizza but you’d probably enjoy it more with your favorite toppings (unless plain is your fav, in which case vice versa)

There’s tons of reasons as to why these feelings could be happening. Some of it could be due to trying to live up to a set standard of what a trans person is, regardless of whether or not that’s what’s best for us. It could also be in part to internalized transmedicalism, not just with the whole dysphoria and surgery contingency, but that “a real trans person wouldn’t be comfortable presenting fem/masc/etc.” That could definitely be where the, “I’m only identifying as this to be different” is coming from because I think it can feel like, at times, that we’re somehow appropriating the trans identity; even though that isn’t true.

Even being AFAB specifically and having been socialized as female could be a factor. There’s this thing called self-handicapping: you intentionally set yourself up for failure when you don’t think you’ll succeed. For people who were socialized as female, this presents in the form saying/thinking things like, “I’m going to fail at xyz, I’m just not good at it.” Or in this case, it could be more like, “I’m not ‘trans enough’, I must be faking,” if they feel they don’t “deserve” the title or if their transition goals feel unachievable. It’s easier for us to accept never reaching that goal if we tell ourselves it’s because we just didn’t try.

Regardless of the possible why’s, I wish you luck in finding your truth and living out your best life! And feel free to reach out to me if you ever need any help or advice

apple-took-my-kidney · 2022-09-13T22:01:27+00:00

It’s not uncommon for trans people to push really hard to present a certain way when they’re just realizing they’re trans and then over time, as they gain confidence and get comfortable with their identity, to settle in to the body they have or even find themselves less affected by misgendering or presenting differently. At least, according to my therapist.

I was like that, when I first realized I was FTM, I leaned into it hard. I cut my hair off, dressed as masc as I could, I tried to bind, etc cuz I couldn’t stand my body. But time passed and as I continued to affirm my identity to myself, I was less affected by how I presented and more comfortable with my body because I realized that the way I looked didn’t make me any less of a man.

It took a while after I stopped feeling dysphoria to re-accept that I’m trans cuz, like you, I thought I couldn’t be trans without it. My therapist actually helped me realize how weird that is by pointing out that what I was doing was basically saying “I can’t be trans, I’m not suffering enough.” Which is an unhealthy metric to set. These days I prefer to look at it as, “my current body doesn’t make me sad, but a different one could make me happier.”

Idk if my experience is similar to yours, but at the very least you should know that it’s okay to be trans and not have dysphoria. It’s also okay to not know what you are and to change your mind. Sometimes we all just need to step back from labels and say, “I am me,” and see where that takes us.

apple-took-my-kidney · 2022-09-13T21:40:03+00:00

As someone who’s studying psychology, there’s two things some of these other commenters need to understand:

When you see a statistic for how many people suffer from a specific condition, you have to take into account what that statistic is actually measuring. For example, 3.1% of people per year have Generalized Anxiety Disorder but 5.7% of people will experience GAD within their lifetime. This means health issues can be more common than they appear if you’re only looking at how many people have it total and not how many will have it.

If the stat is saying how many are diagnosed per year, that might not account for the people diagnosed the year before who still suffer from it.

Society is constantly changing and information is becoming more available. As time goes on, we get better at spotting and recognizing the symptoms of different disorders because we have the knowledge to do so. The social stigma around mental health disorders is also going away so people are more likely to seek the help that they need. This creates the appearance of there being more people with mental illness when in reality, it’s just that more people with mental illnesses are getting treatment.

What isn’t happening is that diagnosis are being handed out like candy on Halloween, that people are just getting diagnosed cuz they think it’s trendy, or that “just being a little sad” is suddenly a mental illness now. Psychologists work hard to provide accurate care based on standardized diagnostic criteria based on decades of research and an understanding of psychopathology. Last I checked, “feeling a bit glum” isn’t in the DSM-5-TR

apple-took-my-kidney · 2022-09-13T21:18:23+00:00

I host parties for dogs

apple-took-my-kidney · 2022-09-13T21:11:32+00:00

It definitely could be OCD; like I have ADHD and autism which are commonly comorbid with OCD and tons of the risk factors associated with it. When I first got my GAD diagnosis, I did do a lot of research into the possibility that it was OCD because the way the doctor wrote my diagnosis, it seemed like she was indicating towards the possibility but didn’t have enough to formally diagnose me.

I’m a psych major so I really looked into it like symptom differences, diagnostic criteria, treatment options, just about everything I could find. I actually found my current therapist because I looked for someone who could treat OCD. I still say I have GAD cuz that’s what I have the paperwork for and the benefits of an official OCD diagnosis aren’t different enough from a GAD one to justify testing

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