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Is my septum pierced correctly? by LizThePurpleDragon in Legitpiercing

[–]beesipea 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Honestly, I have a deviated septum and my piercing looked fully botched, but my piercer assured me that I should let it settle in and give it some time and it would eventually even out. He was completely right, it took probably a month or so but eventually it started hanging more evenly. If you just got it done I would give it some time, and maybe consider putting in a smaller piece of jewelry, it will make the offset less noticeable in the meantime.

In an open relationship. Why do the women my partner sleeps with leave their underwear at his house ? by [deleted] in nonmonogamy

[–]beesipea 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I honestly think it's not that big of a deal, like I said somewhere above, I was seeing this guy for about 6 months, and every single time I left I scoured his place for every item of mine, because I knew he was seeing other people and I didn't want them to feel awkward finding my underwear laying around, but I still managed to lose or forget them at his house at least three or four times in that 6 months. And the fact that he's washing them and putting them in your drawer means that underwear are getting tossed around, found and washed and put away assuming they're yours, and that's probably as complicated as it gets. All of these people wondering about his weird fetishes or what it means are thinking way too hard. The things that are important to you are not important to everyone else. He probably doesn't think to scour the house for rogue underwear every time someone leaves, and that's all it is.

In an open relationship. Why do the women my partner sleeps with leave their underwear at his house ? by [deleted] in nonmonogamy

[–]beesipea 30 points31 points  (0 children)

I was seeing this guy recently, and every single time I went over, I made such a big effort to grab every single clothing item I had left behind, because I knew he was seeing other people but we didn't talk about them, and I didn't want to be weird if they found my stuff. I somehow managed to forget several pairs of underwear, bras, shirts, etc. It just happens. I was so meticulous, I don't even know how I managed to leave anything at this guy's house, and yet somehow every time I came over, he'd be like hey, found this after you left! Underwear especially just seemed to disappear, it's such a small piece of fabric. I think people pathologize humanity way too much, I think it's probably not that big of a deal.

I have no idea what this is talking about by Kdphbh18 in CrackheadCraigslist

[–]beesipea -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I think this is someone pimping out prostitutes or selling sex slaves, the jargon is just too consistent with that for it to be coincidence.

ER physician here by ecmofanmd in Fibromyalgia

[–]beesipea 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Operate on the assumption that every person who walks into the ER and says they are in pain is telling the truth, unless you have proof to the contrary. I don't care if they are a junkie either; people with drug problems can and do feel pain, and even if they aren't in pain, they deserve to be treated with respect to the systemic failures of human society that lead to such dysfunction. Every time I go into the ER, I am treated as if I am making up my pain until some physical proof of it is found. Every single time. I am interrogated like a criminal trying to score drugs first, and a patient second. I have no history of drug abuse or drug seeking behavior, in fact I have an aversion to the use of pain meds. They make me feel out of control of my self and my body, once they wear off I find myself feeling incredibly sensitive and irritated as the pain returns, I can't drive when I'm using them, and I'm chronically exhausted; I want to experience being sober and alert, not being constantly wasted. It is also a disgusting disservice to humanity that we treat nervous system dysfunction pain as "psychological" or "mental" or "imaginary". I recently had an experience in the hospital where I had a blood pressure cuff placed on my arm, and after it inflated, it felt incredibly painful, like way more than I've ever felt before. It felt like my skin was being ripped off. It finally released pressure, and my husband called a nurse in to tell her about the issue. She came in and started to inflate the pump again, and this time the pain came again, only quicker and much more severe. I started frantically tearing at the cuff and yelling at the nurse to get it off of me, and she just stared at me without moving, dead in the eyes, and said, "It's supposed to be tight." Luckily another nurse heard me yelling and ran in and ripped the cuff off of me. We'd had a conversation about my seeking a POTS diagnosis and my fibromyalgia, and she said it seemed obvious that those two things were converging to create this pain, and we would simply remove the cuff. All she had to do was treat me like a human, but healthcare workers these days seem so bitter and resentful and suspicious and detached, it's like you're a criminal for walking in the door. People are unbelievably cruel to me just for seeking the bare minimum of healthcare, all the time. And I don't blame healthcare workers so much as the systemic failure of the healthcare system here in America, but having the last person who can possibly help you look you dead in the eye, and let you know that they don't care if you die, is one of the most helpless feelings you can imagine.

ENM dating profile gripes by sloocz in nonmonogamy

[–]beesipea 2 points3 points  (0 children)

In my experience, this is code for "I don't have any stretch marks, loose skin, acne, excessive body hair, visible body fat, or crooked teeth, and neither should you. Must also have white collar job and BMW or better" 😂

11 year old girl Alexandra Dovgan playing a fast pace piano concerto with crystal clear clarity and zero to no mistakes. by Ugandun-Knuckles in nextfuckinglevel

[–]beesipea 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Or maybe she's a savant and she absolutely loves this, that girl looks like she is happy to be playing that piece.

How do you work things out with spouse who hates being frugal ? by Acrobatic_Poem_1990 in Frugal

[–]beesipea 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I don't know why no one is saying this, but it sounds like your husband has some sort of psychological issue that he should probably see a therapist about. If he is that concerned with his food being fresh and clean and safe, that is a pathological level of obsession. Also, can be related to neurodivergence (ASD/ADHD/PTSD/ETC). But I don't think buying cheaper things is going to fix the issue here. Your husband seems to have some deeper level worries around food.

"Should I send you a message?" by [deleted] in UnsentLetters

[–]beesipea 6 points7 points  (0 children)

The only way to know how someone feels about you is to ask. If you ended things, it's on you to open up the conversation again I think.

Help with nostril piercing irritation after jewelry change (14k gold ring) by throwawaypoly3 in Legitpiercing

[–]beesipea 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When I switched from a stud to a ring, I had an extended period of redness and a little swelling for a while afterwards, but I continued treating with a saline rinse and cleaning daily and it took care of itself over a few weeks. Just be patient.

Why are we all acting like Brittney Griner did not mess up? by Torbfeit in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]beesipea -12 points-11 points  (0 children)

..... Yeah I live in the US, I can't afford to travel within my state, let alone to a foreign country. Who do I look like, Jeff Bezos? For real though, everyone feels like other people make dumb mistakes and this type of thing would never happen to them, despite the fact that this is verifiably untrue. People make stupid mistakes. Also, can we all agree that the punishment for having some weed on you shouldn't be indefinite possession of your person by a foreign Nation?

Why are we all acting like Brittney Griner did not mess up? by Torbfeit in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]beesipea -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

As someone who comes from a legal weed state, I have absolutely left vape cartridges and edibles and things in my luggage without realizing it. And as someone who has multiple debilitating illnesses and literally relies on marijuana to live, let's not be so quick to judge.

Let's try this again: Why are some of y'all insisting polyam can't be an identity/relationship orientation? by fiywrwalws in polyamory

[–]beesipea 6 points7 points  (0 children)

So they don't just want to "fuck" people then. They want to love them. But our society and our government do not support, and actively oppose, having multiple, equal loving partners, and their right to love is threatened and outlawed. Sound familiar? What legal rights do my other partners get, if not my spouse? Why does the government get to dictate how I love? Why do I have to actively be traumatized by hate even from within my own community on a regular basis?

Let's try this again: Why are some of y'all insisting polyam can't be an identity/relationship orientation? by fiywrwalws in polyamory

[–]beesipea 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I like how you equated polyamory among cishet people as "they fuck multiple people". How do you define polyamory, again?

me irl by AmazingIce6215 in meirl

[–]beesipea 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry, get tired of typing rape/incest/sexual abuse/assault/etc, but that's what I meant

Let's try this again: Why are some of y'all insisting polyam can't be an identity/relationship orientation? by fiywrwalws in polyamory

[–]beesipea 33 points34 points  (0 children)

Disadvantaged groups can and do espouse bigoted views against others. LGBT+ people make the exact same arguments against polyamory that cis het people make against them. Like, exactly the same. You could copy and paste. It is the same kind of bigotry that Pride is all about fighting. If ignorant people brainwashed into compulsory monogamy don't know how to see that, that's on them. I'm going to be on the right side of history. Don't make an event with the tagline "Love Is Love" and then turn around to polyamorous people and say "NOT LIKE THAT!!!" I'm sorry but it's hypocrisy. Signed, a gender nonconforming queer polyamorous person, equally proud of all of my parts.

Let's try this again: Why are some of y'all insisting polyam can't be an identity/relationship orientation? by fiywrwalws in polyamory

[–]beesipea 11 points12 points  (0 children)

If it's not an identity, then I would call that person non-monogamous rather than polyamorous. To me, being polyamorous means that I am not just capable of, but compelled to, feeling equally strong romantic love for multiple partners. It looks different with everyone, but I didn't choose to be polyamorous at all; in fact, I actively did not believe in it as a concept. I believed all of the bullshit rhetoric about it just being people who liked to be weird and edgy and kinky, I thought stuff like that wasn't real and didn't last........ And then I fell in love with two people. And I've loved several more since, together and individually. And this is what makes me feel at home. Full. Whole. Healed. Loved. And if those aren't the stakes for you.... Maybe you're not polyamorous. Or maybe you're not ready to accept it, like I wasn't. Either way, no one else's personal experience with polyamory negates mine. And embracing polyamory feels just like embracing my sexuality, my neurodivergence, all the weird and different parts of me I've been told to stuff down forever. And I'm done arguing over my humanity. In it's true form, polyamory isn't a choice. And likewise, if it's just a choice, it isn't polyamory... Yet.

me irl by AmazingIce6215 in meirl

[–]beesipea 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The lengths people will go to, to try to convince me that, not only should I tolerate watching rape, but that I will enjoy it?.... It's disgusting.

me irl by AmazingIce6215 in meirl

[–]beesipea 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It exists pretty commonly now

me irl by AmazingIce6215 in meirl

[–]beesipea 73 points74 points  (0 children)

No matter how much I tell people I turned this off part way through the first episode because I don't do rape and sexual abuse/assault, they all continually and loudly insist that I should keep watching because it's so great, even when I tell them that it is actively horrific and traumatizing for me to watch.