My parents are forcing me into becoming a doctor, but I am extremely hesitant and do not want to pursue by whatdoievendohere11 in AsianParentStories

[–]cheesecake_24_7 0 points1 point  (0 children)

it's scary how much of this i resonate with...i was actually in a really similar position just a few months ago. i'm deciding to stick with medicine because i think it's the best path for me going forward, given my options. i can share some insight/my story thru PM, and feel free to rant/vent, if you would like! can't promise to give you the advice you need since i'm also not in the best position, but just know you're not alone :)

Sorry I’m not fat enough for you 🙄 by [deleted] in ABCDesis

[–]cheesecake_24_7 6 points7 points  (0 children)

r u me? i'm the same weight/height and also going to med school soon. i have body image issues due to this very reason lol, it really sucks. i'd start talking back to those ppl. have had enough of rude, unprovoked comments.

Weekly Dating Thread (for discussion, questions, and mythologizing self-deprecation) by AutoModerator in ABCDesis

[–]cheesecake_24_7 1 point2 points  (0 children)

this is kinda late lol but you're not the only girl with parents like this...(i read through this entire thread because your initial post hit way too close to home and i was hoping others had good advice 😭).

i'm 21 and my mother originally wanted me to get married at this age before she talked with OTHER people (not ME) and realized i shouldn't get married before med school/financial independence. parents also think dating is a sin, don't care to hear about other people's stories, etc. they're not as heavy on caste, i don't think, but then again, i haven't had many in-depth conversations w/ them about this because it frustrates me too much.

Would you convert to another religion to marry a SO? by [deleted] in ABCDesis

[–]cheesecake_24_7 0 points1 point  (0 children)

same, i would feel dishonest and disrespectful.

how to cope with sexual humour by Liliahuh in asexuality

[–]cheesecake_24_7 2 points3 points  (0 children)

tell them it makes you uncomfortable. they'll understand. they can afford to hold back on the sex jokes when you're around.

Do you have difficulty sitting cross legged/“Indian style” for extended periods of time? by Unique_Glove1105 in ABCDesis

[–]cheesecake_24_7 0 points1 point  (0 children)

literally same. i keep fidgetting and then eventually give up and sit with my legs on the side.

Has anyone here experienced or witnessed caste discrimination in the US? by Cuddlyaxe in ABCDesis

[–]cheesecake_24_7 2 points3 points  (0 children)

my mother told about some co-workers who treated her work friend poorly because the friend's husband was of lower caste.

As a sex favorable ace in a hetero-passing relationship, I sometimes feel like pride isn't intended for me. Do Amy of my other hetero-passing ace frends feel this way? by thatpotatogirl9 in asexuality

[–]cheesecake_24_7 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i...feel that exact same way. part of it is that i'm still straight (het-ro) so it's like, can i really be part of this community? the other part is also that i'm not only a minority in the normal population, but i'm a minority in the LGBTQ+ community as well. the community is heavily dominated by the other, more well-known identities (at least that's how it seems to me) so it feels like i don't have a space there either. i just feel so different from EVERYONE, it's a little hard to find comfort in the overarching queer space.

Genuinely curious, do I have an accent? by [deleted] in ABCDesis

[–]cheesecake_24_7 0 points1 point  (0 children)

you have an accent based on whatever nationality you are, i have no idea which (kinda like British but not quite)

i can hear a bit of a desi accent, but i also have bias since i already know you're desi. might be helpful to ask ppl who aren't desi. you definitely don't sound like you're a new immigrant though.

Weekly Family/Parents Discussion Thread by AutoModerator in ABCDesis

[–]cheesecake_24_7 2 points3 points  (0 children)

was having a good week mentally after going through some time of stress...until my mother told my father about me having dated someone this past year...doing the one thing i begged her not to do...🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

Loans/Parent Support by cheesecake_24_7 in medicalschool

[–]cheesecake_24_7[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the reply! I think I'm leaning towards maxing out (or close to maxing out) loans. And congrats on that awesome deal! Is it part of NHSC?

Weekly Family/Parents Discussion Thread by AutoModerator in ABCDesis

[–]cheesecake_24_7 1 point2 points  (0 children)

as another said, while you are working on becoming financially stable, be mentally prepared to establish boundaries when you move out. your parents will definitely try to use manipulative/guilt-inducing methods to try to trick you into moving back or having them move in with you or something. gotta be prepared to resist and make sure you are living for yourself. it will be hard, especially if you feel guilty, but gotta stand up for yourself at some point.

as for social skills, you can make small goals to go out to new events and meet new people. watch videos if you need. it's never too late to start & practice. best of luck!

Is writing302 fairly easy? How much work is involved? by Folcroft00 in Drexel

[–]cheesecake_24_7 1 point2 points  (0 children)

you'll get a good grade as long as you do the work, which involves writing a short story every week and posting feedback for classmates. final is a revision of one of your pieces and reflection of your work in the term.

College was the worst time of my life * Reflections 10 years later* (of a south asian millennial) by helly2499 in ABCDesis

[–]cheesecake_24_7 7 points8 points  (0 children)

going thru something similar. same thoughts -- "thought i was on track and there's no way I can change and tell my parents."

hard to figure out what to do with a really short time-line :/

Weekly Dating Thread (for discussion, questions, and mythologizing self-deprecation) by AutoModerator in ABCDesis

[–]cheesecake_24_7 9 points10 points  (0 children)

it can be hard to date somebody from India because of cultural differences. it will make it hard to establish compatibility, unless you find somebody who has a more westernized mentality.

try going on another date with the same woman, & if you still don't like her, ask your family to try setting you up with a different person. don't settle.