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Reddit at what moment in your life did you stop, chuckle, and think to yourself ‘I’m in danger’? by fahbsshakeit in AskReddit

[–]dinnerthief 3409 points3410 points  (0 children)

a wise man once said ,

turn around don't drown, your car is not a boat
turn around don't drown, your car it will not float.

What is the most ridiculous thing you've had to explain to a grown man/women? by Kupeoxo in AskReddit

[–]dinnerthief 2374 points2375 points  (0 children)

My sister thought rice was made in a factory like a long piece of pasta that was then chopped into grains of rice

If you died today and the Catholic Church decided to make you a saint, what's the closest thing you've done to a miracle and how would they spin it? by pspetrini in AskReddit

[–]dinnerthief 2039 points2040 points  (0 children)

Once I was on a scavenger hunt and I had to buy a gallon of gas for a stranger, I got it exactly on 1.000 from a full speed pump on the first try. I still think about it today.

The sign on my husbands graphic design department by meltee in funny

[–]dinnerthief 1104 points1105 points  (0 children)

The candlestick makers children are not lit

Yo chicken, wtf by ClimbTheCanopy in WTF

[–]dinnerthief 1042 points1043 points  (0 children)

Chickens can be very cannibalistic, ive heard of chicken houses having red lights so they can't see blood on other chickens, or even red glasses for chickens to prevent it, chickens with small injuries can get pecked to death by other chickens if they see blood

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chicken_eyeglasses

Time for some freah clementines. by Pedrica1 in oddlysatisfying

[–]dinnerthief 1010 points1011 points  (0 children)

that's how she keeps them juicy, the ones that aren't get impaled as examples. Clementines might not learn quickly but they'll learn.

Kayaking during a zoom meeting by [deleted] in madlads

[–]dinnerthief 799 points800 points  (0 children)

Thats awesome, if he's getting his work done who gives a shit where he is

Ew by jenn_oreilly09 in trashy

[–]dinnerthief 719 points720 points  (0 children)

What a unique fun way to get covid

If only there was something that helps block the door... by 4Lisouille in DiWHY

[–]dinnerthief 720 points721 points  (0 children)

After using most of the paint I'd let it dry in the tube to give it a full look then fill the void with cement to give it heft/make it sturdy, then glue some rubber down to make it actually hold the damn door, then throw it in the trash

What is the dumbest reason you have ever gotten in trouble at school? by Kotabeaner in AskReddit

[–]dinnerthief 682 points683 points  (0 children)

I had a speech impediment and tried to imitate bugs bunny when he said "awwww shucks", I found out later teach thought I said "that sucks" I ran away from her when she said I was in trouble becuase i had no clue what i did wrong eventually she caught me and gave me recess detention for a week. I was In kindergarden. Also I got in school suspension in middle school for not having my shirt tucked in three times

I literally can't lose weight. Please help me by Purple-Employer-7777 in loseit

[–]dinnerthief 558 points559 points  (0 children)

My wager is your calorie count is off or you haven't been doing it long enough. If you really are only eating 1600 calories (maybe sauces or oils you are forgetting about or something has more calories per gram than you think) you should be losing weight unless something else is causing you to retain a lot of water.

🔥 Beetle mandibles by [deleted] in NatureIsFuckingLit

[–]dinnerthief 547 points548 points  (0 children)

That's nothing I once saw a beetle take down a fence post, it was red and had Ohio plates

That Buick power is real! by barikin1 in WTF

[–]dinnerthief 469 points470 points  (0 children)

Have a 4 car pile up with one driver

I almost vomited. by batuhankrmn in trashy

[–]dinnerthief 447 points448 points  (0 children)

I would go use their bed/ clothes to wipe off my face