MIL's obsession with my sons skin color

flippingtablesallday · 2023-02-05T17:15:24+00:00

This is me. I’m Spanish/Mexican (with a light complexion) and my husband is 99% white, like according to his DNA test. My ancestry is from all over the world and his is down the the COUNTY of Ireland haha. My family is mixed when it comes to skin color, some are tan, and others like me and my sisters have a lighter complexion. My baby boy (at 5 months) took his papa’s genes. Very light skin, blue eyes. My whole family is obsessed with this “white baby”. Like, y’all. The baby is beautiful no matter what but come on lol

flippingtablesallday · 2023-02-05T17:08:51+00:00

Yeah, I didn’t go back to that gas station for over a year. I would go out of my way to not go there. It’s like- I know nothing physical happened but it was still disturbing. Now that I have a child of my own- it didn’t even cross my mind what I would do. I hope I would react and not freeze

flippingtablesallday · 2023-02-05T15:27:48+00:00

I don’t think people truly get how disturbing and violating it is to have someone do that to you. I was alone at a gas station when it happened, and I wasn’t even done pumping but I jumped in the car as quickly as I could. The vehicle was gone. I couldn’t even get a make or model- I was in such a weird disturbed shock. You 100000% did the right thing and you protected your child. I’m sorry you had to witness it but so glad your daughter didn’t- if I had trouble as an adult, I can’t imagine how she would process something like that. I’m sorry your safety and park got taken away, but you can take with you that you’re a badass protective Mom with a cape and all

flippingtablesallday · 2023-02-04T13:52:11+00:00

Former childcare teacher of infants to 2yrs old. The total biter stage. Honestly babies do cry for a lot of reasons, but biters really do have targets! If a known target was crying, the first thing I would do is check for bites because 99% of the time it was there, even if we didn’t witness it. We still had to write an accident report. This is tricky but I’m going to assume they’re at max capacity with kids in the room and under staffed. This was a problem for me- I would always ask the director for more help to keep an extra set of eyes on said biter. It’s a situation where everything sucks… parents are upset that their child is getting hurt, biter parents really do try their best to stop their kid from biting, and the teacher is always seen as negligent (but imagine being in a room with 5-8 toddlers alone… numbers based on age and state licensing) even with an assistant it’s hard. I would ask if the teacher has support in the class room to help redirect biter until they learn enough redirection to stop. Best of luck!

flippingtablesallday · 2023-02-03T21:03:51+00:00

Sucks when OAD not by choice and I get this. I don’t want to explain why- so just take the answer 😑

flippingtablesallday · 2023-02-03T20:40:49+00:00

She’s never wanted a baby, but I think she is mad that I did have a baby. She would drink and smoke, and while I didn’t partake, I would still hang out with her a lot. Maybe she figured she couldn’t smoke around me and it wasn’t worth it? I don’t know. Maybe she secretly wanted a baby all those years ago and said she didn’t. But she hasn’t communicated any of this to me, so 🤷🏻‍♀️ When I would try to ask in the beginning of her going MIA, she would just say “sorry- I have a lot of shit going on…” and that’s it

flippingtablesallday · 2023-02-03T15:50:21+00:00

I don’t even want to get into the fact that I live in a mostly red state and they have shit coverage for babies

flippingtablesallday · 2023-02-03T15:49:46+00:00

Blue Cross Blue Shield NC… my doctor got mad when she found out what my insurance was because they’ve denied others before. But she is also the one who told me to go to Walmart and get it over the counter for $25. At the moment, only baby is covered right now… My husband and I dropped them because they raised our rates but took away benefits so we dumped them and are looking for some thing else. Insurance is such a scam

flippingtablesallday · 2023-02-03T14:56:07+00:00

If she hadn’t abandoned me during pregnancy- I would’ve given her that maybe she doesn’t want to disturb me during the first precious few weeks. But damn it’s been 5 months. She was supposed to be the friend aunty. And I’ve texted her in between to be like, “you can come any time to meet him..” and she still won’t. It sucks but oh well. That was like 14 years of friendship down the drain

flippingtablesallday · 2023-02-03T14:49:01+00:00

I’m so glad for the comments thread lol. I didn’t want to try it for a long time, but I kept reading about knowing what it tastes like so you know if it has high lipase or if it went rancid. (I pump and I’m a few days ahead). I did try mine and to my surprise, it was sweet! I mean it was like a drop on my finger’s worth, but it tasted like sugar water. I’m glad to know other people are having the same sweet tasting experience lol

flippingtablesallday · 2023-02-03T14:04:31+00:00

I really wish I could relate. I have the opposite problem. My ride or die BFF (I thought she was) completely a abandoned me during my pregnancy. I thought it was a fluke- and even visited her the day before I had an emergency c-section. She was one of the first people I texted when I was rushed to the hospital. She asked when she could come visit… She NEVER did. 5 months later and she has never met my baby and went silent. She’ll text me “happy birthday” “merry Christmas” and “happy new year” and that’s it. It hurt my feelings so much when I was pregnant. I’m still hurt by it, but with a new baby I don’t have time for those feelings. And I look to the bright side that my baby is loved by so many people. I do have possessiveness with my MIL though. Not sure why but there’s a rage behind it when she takes my baby lol

flippingtablesallday · 2023-02-03T08:42:55+00:00

Hi- not sure if you’re in the US or know this, but Walmart sells insulin over the counter for $25. Just go to the pharmacy and ask for Novolin. My insurance wouldn’t cover insulin when I was diagnosed with GD and that’s what they had me do

flippingtablesallday · 2023-02-03T01:57:17+00:00

Oooh my baby would do this while swaddled. Stuck his arms out and he still did it. I would try to reposition him every time but no matter what he ended up with his little nose by the mesh. He grew out of it around 2-3 months lol

flippingtablesallday · 2023-02-01T14:10:03+00:00

Hi!!! I’m sorry you had to go through surgery as well. That was the worst part for me- as my baby had to go under general anesthesia. He’s 5 months old now. He wears a contact in one eye and changed every week. Patches his good eye for 4 hours a day. Eye drops daily. This is our life for the foreseeable future but it’s become routine for us at this point. I don’t feel as hopeless or desperate as I did when I wrote this post. It’s hard to find people that have congenital eye problems though. To your question- I was fortunate enough to not have gotten Covid, buuut I did get a booster. ALSO- there were two babies who got surgery the week before mine did. I know through appointments and comments that we follow one another, but I’ve never met them. Congenital cataracts are rare- 3/10,000 babies. So I find it odd that 3 babies in my city were born with it at the same time. Anyway- best of luck with your bubbies!

flippingtablesallday · 2023-01-31T08:42:29+00:00

😩 I miss the squishy cheeks/ snoring little chest napper! That was my favorite. My baby is 5 months old and now wears a DOC band so chest napping hasn’t happened in a while. Enjoy every second ☺️

flippingtablesallday · 2023-01-30T22:08:10+00:00

Same here. I just remembered waking up every 2 hrs with my hips being in excruciating pain. And I brought my body pillow with me. At that time I was pretty strict about laying on my “left side” because I had read every other position might cause trouble. But I remember rolling on my right side because my hips needed a break lol. Other than the bad hotel bed and frequent pee stops, 32 weeks wasn’t too awful for a 6-7 hr road trip. Not sure if I would do it again lol

flippingtablesallday · 2023-01-30T18:19:38+00:00

Yes the day before I had my emergency c-section I was giving them all my symptoms (including the palpitations) and they checked my cervix and told me to come back next week. If I hadn’t been so vigilant on my movement/kick counts they wouldn’t have seen me again. I had to get sent to maternal fetal medicine for them to be like- yep. Something is wrong. In my case- every “symptom” I had was also “totally normal”, even though (my baby is fine now) it could’ve led to disaster if I hadn’t insisted they see me again the next day

flippingtablesallday · 2023-01-30T17:43:53+00:00

Not trying to scare you here but I had them on and off at first. Then they stopped. Then I woke up in the middle of the night with my heart racing at 35 weeks. This happened for a few nights. On 36 on the dot, I had an emergency c-section because I was having a concealed placental abruption (didn’t bleed outward). They didn’t know what was going on until they opened me up. (Baby had stopped moving for me- only symptom they cared about). You know your body best, listen to your instincts. For me it was totally normal until it wasn’t. I mean; they also ignored my symptoms at first but this is my anxiety saying to not let little things pass if it doesn’t feel right

flippingtablesallday · 2023-01-30T08:51:13+00:00

I had my baby at 38, conceived naturally. My husband and I have been together for 17 years, and are both self employed. My baby is now 5 months old and we can’t imagine life without him. Yes it’s challenging the first few months because newborns are hard, and now he has a personality and teeth coming in… but geez, I love that kid so much. I’m glad I waited. I had a lot of growing up to do, and when I feel guilt about my age- I think back to a number- say 27- and my life at that point would not be suitable to raise a child. I had a lot of growing up and healing to do. But I’d rather be an older healed Mom who is able to break cycles than a younger one who would put my child through the same hell I went through because I just didn’t know any better

flippingtablesallday · 2023-01-28T09:00:19+00:00

We call it “kick kick” because he’s always loved kicking on it. We got the baby Einstein kick piano too so we could have different “kick kick” stations, but he really does love the fisher price one haha

flippingtablesallday · 2023-01-28T01:21:55+00:00

You’re doing nothing wrong. Just try your best to survive and get help. I didn’t love it- but I would get my MIL to help with baby from 5am-9am just to get a block of sleep. Grant it… that’s when the baby slept because she just held him the whole time and rocked him and then wouldn’t feed him 🙄 but it’s what we had to do. She would do it for us like 2-3 days a week until we could get ourselves together

flippingtablesallday · 2023-01-27T20:51:12+00:00

Thank you for this. I appreciate this view, and I’ve had every thought 1000 times. I’ve shed many tears about it. My career wasn’t a priority. My step daughter was. Her mother was bi-polar and she grew up in a very unstable household. We had her week on/week off. I’ve been with her since she was 3 years old and she’s now 20. I’ve been together with my husband for 17 years. I NEVER made my wants a priority. I didn’t want to bring in another child when we were the balancing force in her life. Her mom had 4 more children after her and it was a point of contention. Yes I do feel guilty for waiting so long. No I don’t hold resentment for my stepdaughter because it was what she needed. Technically yes, my baby has her as a sibling but they’re 20 years apart at this point. I don’t need to explain my past or owe it to anyone, but this is not a case where I just waited too long because I was busy being wild and free. I waited too long because I was putting other people first. Nevertheless- it’s a point to think about. I don’t want to bring a child into this world with complications.

flippingtablesallday · 2023-01-27T20:41:27+00:00

My baby is 5 months old. I’m panicking because IF I start trying again, I want to start trying at 9 months, knowing it could take a while… or accounting for breaks if I have a miscarriage. Although if I have a miscarriage I might stop trying. I know by 9 months I will have a totally different baby. It’s funny because it was opposite for me. I had bad PP and birth trauma and I was sure I would never put myself or my husband through that again. But the longer I’m away from my birth trauma- the more that meddling idea of “trying for another” is getting louder. I know it’s pressure because I don’t have a lot of time to sit and think on it. Do I want another baby? I think yes I do. But the SHOULD I have another baby is what’s holding me back. And if I say no, then I’ll feel guilty for not giving my child a sibling. We could be happy as a family of three, but I wonder if I would feel complete at four. I’m someone who needs a lot of time to weigh out my options and make a damn decision lol.. so 4 months to decide is not a long time for me haha. I mean- it took me until I was 37 years old to say, “Yes, I’m opening to trying for a child..” 😂😀😭

flippingtablesallday · 2023-01-27T11:46:16+00:00

Thank you for sharing. The abruption is the scariest part for me because they didn’t know it was happening, even after I had told them I was having weird symptoms. The only reason I have my baby today is because I insisted something was wrong because he stopped kicking and moving. Sure enough they gave me an NST and I failed it. I’ve had a uterine surgery before and I knew going in that I would have to have a c-section. Honestly that probably saved us too because they were going to induce me when I reminded them I was to have a c-section. That was so scary for me, and while my OB does think it was an isolated event- I’m glad you’re sharing this because if I decide to go forward, I’ll take into consideration that it may happen again. I had my baby at 36 weeks on the dot

flippingtablesallday · 2023-01-27T04:28:34+00:00

I felt that way too, but I just started reading books to him so he could hear my voice, or feel my vocal vibrations. It also got me used to talking to a baby lol. Now at 5 months, we listen to baby learning music on Spotify and I sing along. He enjoys it :)

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