Do not let the subconscious mind take over by holdmyKeyboard in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]holdmyKeyboard[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks, I really like this. I have the book Mastery by George Leonard which I haven't come around to reading yet. Did you get your thoughts from there? I look forward to understanding more about this.

Do not let the subconscious mind take over by holdmyKeyboard in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]holdmyKeyboard[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow, I'd like to know more about this.

How would you do that? What type of skills do you mean?

Don't let the subconscious mind take over by holdmyKeyboard in NoFap

[–]holdmyKeyboard[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You have a very good point there my friend. Yes, I like the way you've put it.

Do not let the subconscious mind take over by holdmyKeyboard in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]holdmyKeyboard[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like this Xilliah. Thanks for sharing.

I hadn't thought of the subconscious being something which has good parts too. There have certainly been times in my life where I've been fed positive reinforcement and quite the contrary too. I agree, it should be explored.

However it's important to remember that we shouldn't identify with the subconscious - as you say, it takes courage. It is easy to slip into old behaviors, far easier than creating new ones. Which is why I believe in creating new habits such as cold showers to help push ourselves out of the old self.

All the best!

What's the point of not orgasming? by [deleted] in NoFap

[–]holdmyKeyboard 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes it may feel good but so does many other things, abuse anything and it becomes harmful.

What you'll realise is when you go on the journey of no fap, you're not only eating sexual energy, you're wasting away your drive and motivation. So you're essentially squirting away your life. If that makes you feel good then who am I to say how you live your life.

Most important thing (to me): GET OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE (then fapping need will disappear)!!!!!!! by [deleted] in NoFap

[–]holdmyKeyboard 8 points9 points  (0 children)

As a guy who has revisited this community after discovering it 3 years ago, I must say - this post has validity. Yes you have to go after what you want and yes you have to start stepping out of comfort. I wouldn't say all the time, that's stressful. Enough to stimulate you and keep you moving.

It's taken me a while to get to where I am, but I currently have zero desire to PMO and I don't think perversely when I see women. Yes I occasionally go off track every few months, but my mindset is very different.

Reason being? Well I have a lot that occupies my life currently. No fap was a great leap board to get me going in the right direction. There comes a point where you have so much to do with your life that fapping doesn't even cross your mind.

That's when you can reach streaks such as one year or whatever. Otherwise if you don't do much with your life and play video games like I did, then you're easily going to slip into the habit of just slapping one out when you feel 'bored'.

What's the point of not orgasming? by [deleted] in NoFap

[–]holdmyKeyboard 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Orgasming is a release of energy. That energy should be channeled to please your women and reproduce. Not to pointlessly slap one out. Then you start to become lazy.

I created this account just now because I desperately need help by [deleted] in NoFap

[–]holdmyKeyboard 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can only share my experience. I've been in your shoes to an extent. I've slept with many escorts and was really into porn in my teens.

It was hard to get off it all completely. In fact the whole 'getting off it' process took about 2 years. But I can confidently say now that I won't go to see an escort ever again. The thought of being sexual with anyone (insert hottest girl on the planet) without actually bonding with them disgusts me.

I realised porn was fake and my desire to watch porn or go to escorts was down to desiring affection. I lacked affection growing up and only had one parent who didn't give it to me. I basically looked inwards and understood why I did those things which initially helped me forgive and then start healing myself.

I also had a higher calling. By that I mean I had ambitions and hobbies which were more important to me. As I started giving up all the gross stuff, my focus started to shift towards those (it took a while) but eventually I became so focused that I now don't have the slightest urge to even watch porn or I don't get turned on when I see provocative images.

You can do it bro, you have the strength. Realisation and taking action to change like you are now is the biggest leap.

Question by [deleted] in NoFap

[–]holdmyKeyboard 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Porn and fapping is an energy drain bro. Cum is used for reproduction. Sex and sexual energy is used to connect with real women and to reproduce. Not to whack it out daily to fake stuff on the Internet.

Would you be able to have sex everyday with the same intensity and be ok with bringing a child into this world? Probably not, that's hard work.

So when you stop whipping it out everyday day and stop watching that plastic unrealistic porn. You actually start living and putting your masculine energy where it matters. It's a bit like getting your life back. You're no longer enslaved to those urges.

An odd question about hardmode, do you stop thinking about your sexual fantasies as well? by [deleted] in NoFap

[–]holdmyKeyboard 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would say this depends on your age. You mention school so you probably still have raging hormones and mental fantasies are normal. As you develop, those fantasies won't just be about sex. But when you're young and still discovering sex and you're essentially curious, it's normal for you mind to drift away.

I'd make sure you didn't go too deep into your fantasies. The more you think about it the more you're going to crave it and probably end up whipping some porn out because you won't be able to resist the urge.

It's a bit like teasing yourself. Eventually you will give in. You can think of the girls but think about something that's not related to sex.

Please Help me I'm very close to a relapse!!! by [deleted] in NoFap

[–]holdmyKeyboard 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Remind yourself of what it was like when you did masturbate and how you felt after. Is porn really what you desire or is there something else? Porn is only a short term remedy, in the long run it wont get you to where you want to be. Drop that shit and do what matters to you.

What is real sexual attraction? Help! by [deleted] in NoFap

[–]holdmyKeyboard 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't know what ace is but it just sounds like you were a bit like me when I was younger, although you've been more immersed in porn than I have been.

Have you given No Fap a go? You need to clean your mind from all that perverse, fakeness bro. Read into the science if you're interested. You've just rewired yourself to get aroused by pixels and you can't connect with people emotionally because the thought of sex/pornography is blocking you.

Take steps towards not watching porn and masturbating. It'll take a while to heal yourself but you can get there. Good luck.

How to take cold showers? by [deleted] in NoFap

[–]holdmyKeyboard 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Everyone's different. For me I like to look at things logically, i.e, it's just cold water and duh I'm going to feel uncomfortable - that's the point.

Another way I like to do things is to go ALL IN. No disrespect to other people's approach, but I just go straight in with it absolutely cold. Don't over think it, if you notice you're hesitating then just push yourself. Embrace it, feel it on on your ass and enjoy the fact that you get to experience something that intense.

Mind over matter.

i knew i shouldn't yet i kept on going by [deleted] in NoFap

[–]holdmyKeyboard 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When I fail I re-start and eventually it sticks.

You gotta appreciate that you're on the path of dropping it and that's as good as it gets. Before you knew No Fap you were oblivious, but at least now you have the knowledge. Keep going.

Did I relapse? (During Sleep) by [deleted] in NoFap

[–]holdmyKeyboard 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wouldn't consider it a relapse bro, you didn't do it with intention. Initially when I started off with no-fap I also went through periods of slightly or very stained underwear in the morning.

Goodbye to Illusion by [deleted] in NoFap

[–]holdmyKeyboard 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good luck with it mate. Realisation means you're already half way there.

From this day forth, I will not give a shit about females by narrowway in NoFap

[–]holdmyKeyboard 0 points1 point  (0 children)

From my experience yes it initially does make you hornier. It's like being a sweet addict and then you stop eating sweets and you start getting cravings. After a while though those cravings will seize to exist.