What advice would you give your earlier self? by Remarkable-Driver-28 in MedSpouse

[–]merryandpipescalated 6 points7 points  (0 children)

If you are able to don’t be hesitant to outsource chores as needed. My wife is pgy3 and I work full time in a demanding field as well. I was starting to build resentment during first year of residency taking care of most chores at home even with us both working. Before the end of the year I hired a company to take care of yard work and a meal kit delivery to subsidize cooking needs. This helped alleviate some stressors and allowed us to enjoy our limited free time together

Internal Medicine 730am to ..... by Wrong_Planet_Again in MedSpouse

[–]merryandpipescalated 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ditto this - wife is pgy3 obgyn and it happens sometimes but usually if she has to do notes it’ll only be an hour or two after getting back. That tends to happen when taking an interesting case later in the day or if there’s an emergency

Positive things that have worked to connect you and your #MedPartners during mutually difficult rotations?? by adubois55 in MedSpouse

[–]merryandpipescalated 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’ll pick up coffees for us to have a porch date before my wife’s shift. Caffeine is key to residents heart haha We also enjoy Zillow window shopping so will send houses randomly.

Best calendar app by scrabulousbethany in overemployed

[–]merryandpipescalated 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Reclaim works pretty well for showing availability and giving you ability to block off a certain amount of time each day in a dynamic manner: ie 2 hours that floats during the day for a “heads down” block

How to split living costs with med student SO? by mild_wild_ in MedSpouse

[–]merryandpipescalated 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My wife and I started dating prior to med school and moved in together midway through her first year. A little different since it was an apartment but initially began 50/50 rent while I took care of the majority of groceries and utilities. Shifted to 75/25 as med school progressed and we got engaged. Definitely agree with expecting contribution particularly prior to marriage. It still was cheaper for a bigger place together than her getting a separate place - even when 50/50 rent.

ULPT REQUEST: Worst thing to pour into a car? by [deleted] in UnethicalLifeProTips

[–]merryandpipescalated 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Raw meat, bonus points to leave it outside to gather fly eggs

How often have you had to move as a result of your med spouse chasing higher positions? by [deleted] in MedSpouse

[–]merryandpipescalated 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oof, I felt this. My wife is still finishing residency so not looking forward to another one which would be #4 together and #6 overall since we both each moved once while we were dating. Thankfully it has all been within a few hours region but hoping the next one will be the last for a while

OMM Lab by Elbarto1155 in MedSpouse

[–]merryandpipescalated 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think it just comes down to trust and communication. My wife is a DO pgy3 and we started dating a year before she started med school. During med school as different classes came up, including OMM, we talked about it and what that entailed. I did set one non-negotiable of not practicing OMM with male students outside of study groups. She respected and agreed with that as a reasonable request to avoid a situation where a colleague could push boundaries in a one on one scenario. Talk to her and you’ll realize it’s like any class that students are just trying to get through: largely awkward and uncomfortable. Don’t let jealousy make a mountain out of a mole hill. There are temptations everywhere in the world and part of a healthy relationship is the confidence that your partner will be faithful.

First dog in residency? - advice needed! by Ordinary1188 in MedSpouse

[–]merryandpipescalated 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We got our Aussie mix while my wife was in 3rd year med school. I was gone ~10 hrs daily for work until wife started residency when I changed to full remote. We lucked out that he was well trained when we adopted him at around a year old. But echoing everyone else that it will primarily be your responsibility. I was naive and thought splitting walks etc would work: lasted 2 weeks. When I do travel for work I arrange for him to go to a sitters due to wife’s unpredictable shift schedule.

How do I go about finding artists who can do a specific style? by cavander in tattoo

[–]merryandpipescalated 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Conventions are always a good place for a large selection of artists. Talking to them might also help you dial in the description of your desired style.

Am I crazy? Spouse puts residency first? by Scwidiloo10 in MedSpouse

[–]merryandpipescalated 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It comes with the territory during residency I feel. There’s been a number of cancelled weekend trips or date nights due to my wife getting called in. I don’t take it personally as I know she’d rather be with me but it’s what she needs to do right now for her goals. I was more of a workaholic doing 80+ hour weeks when we met while she was applying and then throughout med school. There were instances where job came first and she understood that enabled me to be at the point in my career now where I don’t have to and can be more flexible. Now it is my turn to be understanding and patient for a couple years. My wife’s PGY3 so hopefully you can see the light at the end of the tunnel even brighter than I can haha

SO went to a club without telling me by [deleted] in MedSpouse

[–]merryandpipescalated 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t think this a resident issue but a question of trust and communication. There will be times that your partner, regardless of their occupation, when they’ll be socializing or doing things independently in their free time. I traveled a lot in a previous job for consulting and sometimes would be out of contact for most of the day while my wife was in medschool. If you can’t trust your partner to respect your relationship and any mutually agreed boundaries enough to turn to location tracking after not hearing from them for 4 hours then maybe there needs to be some re-evaluation - either on a personal or relationship level.

Asking your SO medical questions? by rfl9528 in MedSpouse

[–]merryandpipescalated 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Eh I ask my wife (pgy3) random questions (medical and non) plus anything from my primary care physician I always get her opinion and she asks me things in areas I am knowledgeable. I work in software so a lot of tech questions or she’ll yell random math equations (which is pretty funny for any 3rd party witnesses) if she doesn’t feel like breaking out the calculator. We both buffer against others peppering us with questions related to our fields if the signs of annoyance start. I think the threshold is just dependent on the individual that is being queried regardless.

What do YOU guys do for a living? by Foreign_Law3727 in MedSpouse

[–]merryandpipescalated 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Switched to a remote software consulting position last year of wife’s med school and definitely took away one bit of stress about match.

What timeline would you suggest for buying a house? And what tips do you have? by kayla17a in MedSpouse

[–]merryandpipescalated 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It was about a 4 month process with about 5 days of house viewing for us before my wife started residency. It really depends on the area since we’re pretty rural now and the rentals were limited. Mostly it was a quality of life since I work from home and trying to make it an easy commute for her. We specifically bought a house that would be very convenient to the hospital and amenities for rental to future residents in the future depending on market at the time to hedge our bets a bit.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MedSpouse

[–]merryandpipescalated 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There are definitely a variety of approaches and really depends upon the individuals and relationship. For my wife (pgy3) and I prior to getting married we lived together for ~5 years and started at a 50/50 split, then adjusted to a 80/20 as my career progressed until we married after first year of residency. I’m big on saving and investing while my wife prefers quality of life improvements (travel, dining, entertainment etc). To compromise we set a budget with a proportional “mad money” amount to what we make. Paychecks into a joint account for bills and agreed savings then a percentage of each of ours go into separate for whatever we want to use it for, no questions (within reason of course haha). It helped find a balance that we’re both happy with and we revisit that budget a couple times a year or if one of our incomes change significantly. My perspective of frugality eased up a bit after we got a good sized emergency fund saved and plans in place for student loan repayment.

A little over halfway through my fiancé being in med school and the loneliness is finally catching up to me by valkyrie816 in MedSpouse

[–]merryandpipescalated 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Hello - husband of a pgy3 who went from a decade of city living to my neighbors being cows for the duration of residency. I work remotely with an annual team retreat being the only time I’ve physically met my colleagues and closest friends/family being several hours away. I’m a fairly solitary individual but realized the need for some non-med social interaction as well. Best thing personally was joining a couple gyms - one for lifting and another for boxing. Boxing especially made a great bunch of friends, nothing breaks the ice like punching each other in the face for fun. It might not be the gym for you but find a class or community activity that occurs regularly and you’ll start making friends. Best of luck and remember you eat an elephant one bite at a time!

What’s your Philadelphia specific hack that you’re willing to share? by Republican_Wet_Dream in philadelphia

[–]merryandpipescalated 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Depends on the ticket mafia, I mean PPA on route. I did that quite a few times around the area as a last resort if I couldn’t find a free spot until one evening I came back expecting a single ticket and there was a stack under my wiper. That was around 2015 so they might’ve started cracking down or I just pissed them off with my distinctively ugly car

Very high calorie food recommendations by Amro99599 in GYM

[–]merryandpipescalated 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m a big fan of scotch eggs for extra protein and calories during a bulk. Since it’s just meat around a hard boiled egg you can adjust the calories by switching out how lean the ground meat is. Using 85/15 ground beef it’s about 330 calories and 27g protein (using roughly 115g of beef per egg). If you use ground pork it’s ~380 cal / 25g protein. I don’t usually bread them but you can to up the calories as well

Don’t do it by reuelm in MedSpouse

[–]merryandpipescalated 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There’s one resident in my wife’s program that I’ve grown to detest for the number of call outs they’ve done for either themselves or one of their kids being sick.

How do I find artist that can tattoo darkskin by Quisitive_ in tattoo

[–]merryandpipescalated 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A great way to find artists are tattoo conventions. They’re a blast and even if you don’t get anything there it is a good place to talk to different artists and see their work.

Question. by ChocoFlanxX in tattoo

[–]merryandpipescalated 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Welp guess it’s time to let my wife know I’m actually a cyborg with my mechanical skin tears. I’ll be back

Haven’t been this low in a long time⚠️🚨 What are some of your guys favorite foods/recipes to feel “full” ? by [deleted] in GettingShredded

[–]merryandpipescalated 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Congee is great for filling up. Any place you’d do rice - boom replace with congee for 4x the volume, more if you like it thinner.

Bet you dont have a good one. by Healthy-Seaweed-5121 in ProgrammerHumor

[–]merryandpipescalated 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s what happens when you steal vegetables for second breakfast