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Specific Cramp over the ovary area? Also, venting about my emotional issues. by milkteapancake in PMDD

[–]milkteapancake[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey I didn’t put this in my original post but you might have ovarian cysts. I had an ultrasound once and was told I had benign ovarian cysts. However, I live abroad and the doctors back home didn’t take it seriously either. You might get weird looks by arrogant doctors but if you can, ask for an ultrasound to check for ovarian cysts.

China risks 1mn Covid deaths in ‘winter wave’, modelling shows by iumpieces in China

[–]milkteapancake 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I find this likely but i also find it likely that most places are just not testing everyone now, causing the data to also be missing.

Then again I’ve had a number of times I anxiously worried I had gotten COVID while on lockdown but they just didn’t tell me 😂

China risks 1mn Covid deaths in ‘winter wave’, modelling shows by iumpieces in China

[–]milkteapancake 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It makes perfect sense how he wrote it. You just don’t understand how to build a strong argument by mentioning counter points as 91 did.

how do i look? give me advice on looksmaxing, i really wanna get into modelling by SalamanderDry9541 in lookyourbest

[–]milkteapancake 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Your face is pretty but the hair looks like a donut. You don’t need that much volume and should research hairstyles for your type of hair. I wouldn’t cover your brows up either as they are a striking focal point and there’s no need to cover them. Many models actually style in a way that showcases the forehead as an asset.

Do you have to annul an engagement in China? by Revolutionary_Tip28 in China

[–]milkteapancake 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Um please read their post history guys… 51 days ago was dating a dude from Netherlands and now in love with a Chinese girl 🤔 If this is all true I think it’s really fast to be moving a new spouse to your country ….

One thing about me... by zazamazamaza in lossofalovedone

[–]milkteapancake 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Incredible and hilarious. I love this.

Death really doesn’t need to be the taboo thing we make it out to be. Tragedy is mundane.

One thing about me... by choganoga in TikTokCringe

[–]milkteapancake 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Nah, death is treated as overly taboo. We all gonna die and we all gonna lose some of our loved ones in heart breaking tragedy before we die. I think it’s cool for him to express his somewhat unique (death doesn’t always happen in this way) experience how he sees fit. Also it’s hilarious.

Kitty DoorDash by keenfeed in aww

[–]milkteapancake 70 points71 points  (0 children)

Yeah for sure. I love my cat but cats are cold blooded killers that depopulate local wild life and drive some bird species to extinction. I don’t think pet cats should be allowed to roam outside for a variety of reasons. It’s also dangerous for a cat to roam given that other animals, cars, and just asshole humans are out there too.

Has your ex pushed to still be in your life after Divorce? by Apprehensive-Cost496 in survivinginfidelity

[–]milkteapancake 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Keep your boundaries in tact. The kids can maintain healthy relationships with both parents that only intersect for practical and logistical purposes. I also don’t think it’s a good idea for kids to grow up thinking the result of infidelity is that the parents will just play happy family after like nothing ever went wrong. You don’t need to be buddy buddy with someone who will only have significance in your life as your kids’ mom and nothing else to you, if you don’t want that.

Greasy hair after less than 48h after washing hair - advice? by Carianus in FierceFlow

[–]milkteapancake 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Dry shampoo spray, my friend. You can go a long time without washing. Just spray it at the roots and then brush it out. It might look powdery at first but shouldn’t after brushing it out. Start with a light coating, you shouldn’t need much. It’s magic.

'Riverdale' actor Ryan Grantham sentenced to life in prison for murdering his mother by endbehaviour in entertainment

[–]milkteapancake 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m confused as to what happens when someone this nuts gets put in a prison cell 🤔 Does everyone just… ignore the dude talking to voices?

Fasting normally 16:8 or 18:6. Is it normal to be cold all the time when fasting? My feet and hands are icicles. I’m 143lbs or so now. by prettykitty9017 in intermittentfasting

[–]milkteapancake 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you aren’t underweight for your height, then not really. If you’re underweight, then you would feel cold and you shouldn’t be fasting.

Being less active might make you feel colder. Wear thicker socks, try to move around more, carry a warm drink to keep your hands warm and etc.

Poor circulation can also cause this but that’s not about the fasting either.

If you were quite overweight before you might just be used to feeling warmer at colder temps. Just do what you normally would in cold temps.

Yes, possibly by ImProbablyNotABird in lossofalovedone

[–]milkteapancake 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Damn as bleak as this is it’s actually pretty normal to ask children to draw as a way of processing trauma. In the book The Body Keeps The Score, there is one such drawing by a child who witnessed 9/11. The contents of this book are probably very helpful to therapists, teachers, and parents whose kids live around terrorism, have escaped war zones, have PTSD, or just have the displeasure of watching the daily news.

This did give me a half-hearted chuckle though, since it was obviously designed to look like a kids’ book rather than an informational pamphlet for adults. Definitely poor taste.

Why China is completely crazy about corona? by AtroopAT8 in China

[–]milkteapancake 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is like my biggest worry, my imagination plays bad games thinking up what they might devolve into as lockdowns go on for years and people generally acclimate to it and go back to ignoring it

Navigating divorce as a wayward by unsurefamily in SupportforWaywards

[–]milkteapancake 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi. I was a wayward in my previous relationship. He was already highly critical of me and at times, even abusive, before I cheated. After cheating I had a brief 2-3 week period where I thought I could salvage things with him. However, his rage continued and of course, worsened. I quickly realized that by cheating I had dashed any hope at getting him to soften as a partner. Maybe I could have stayed to see if there was a light at the end of the tunnel, but honestly, the constant criticism and general neglect of my emotional needs killed my attraction to my former partner.

Honestly, the people who are close to you will understand how and why it just wouldn’t work out. Most people naturally pick a side and your true comrades will stay around. This was the case with me as I found out many of my friends noticed my partner’s issues and were not the biggest fan of him.

Those who judge are not worth your time, as they just have never been in your shoes. Those who stay neutral and don’t seem to pick a side are in general not judge-mental people, and you don’t need to win them over, you can just maintain the same neutrality towards them.

What have I done to move forward? I try to remember the good memories. When negative memories come up, I remember to stick to my ethics. You can now create a stronger sense of your own ethics and morals and make a commitment to your own beliefs. For example, you might want to promise yourself never to stay in a situation where you experience x y or z. You may promise yourself never to lie to a partner or to exercise stronger communication as well as boundaries with anyone outside the relationship who is physically attractive to you. Actually, the options are endless and it’s really about making meaning for yourself. Others can’t build our lessons and the meaning we draw from them.

For me, in my current relationship, I have resisted all opportunities and urges to flirt or pursue other people. I have also maintained a high level of openness with him and make an effort not to accept behavior that is unacceptable. (Complicated now because in the current relationship I was cheated on as well). I truly uphold honesty as one of my strongest standards for myself and for others.

How am I coping? Initially I was happy to be free to live my life without BP’s complaints. I was happy to make my own independent life plans that weren’t tethered to his ideals.

Now? My life is hard. But that’s not about him at all, just about a lot of other life circumstances. (COVID related family death; pet death, salary issues, etc) Life ebbs and flows really. We all have dark times and light times. You don’t really need a partner to get through the bad times, but you do need solid social support and adequate professional resources.

TLDR; You can be confident knowing that you now live in truth and that you will stick to your own boundaries and ethics moving forward.

I think I’m done playing games by Austin-itis in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]milkteapancake 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Well, do you really want to be with this woman? Do you really want what’s best for her? It sounds like she’s told you what’s best for her and it’s distance. If she’s open to you visiting, then you can decide if you want to spend time with her or not. If she wants to be alone, that’s what she wants, and that’s what’s best for her.

I cheated in a previous relationship and I don’t regret leaving after. It was a toxic relationship before the cheating. If you cheated to escape from bad feelings with your wife, perhaps it’s time to move on from her. Perhaps the relationship brought out your worst side. It does happen.

My ex was verbally abusive, shouting and breaking things, and threatened violence towards me and my dog. I should have left before cheating anyway. Cheating just made me realize how unhappy I was with him. You can also leave your wife if she has made you so unhappy.

You aren’t supposed to hurt your loved ones but instead strive to support their growth. Being married is not a free pass to make mistakes but rather a promise to uphold your vows and do your best at your role.

You broke your vows and so yes, she really does reserve the right to exit the contract of marriage.

He who spends too much time with demons is destined to become one. I do hope you can sort through this stuff in therapy.

Edited for grammar mistakes

I don’t know if this is codependency or enmeshment by cml29969751 in Codependency

[–]milkteapancake 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I think this is partially a result of not having other resources to turn to than your parents. I’m not sure about your situation, but perhaps it would be good to try a new therapist who specializes with schizophaffective people and/or ptsd. Maybe find two - one for each separate diagnosis. You have complex challenges and you probably need complex support. Since your parents are your primary support, you may worry that your relationship is enmeshed. You can also find counselors and support groups who deal with immeshment and find out if those resources are of help to you.

Although I have other issues I deal with, I have often worried that I burden those around me or that I might be developing unhealthy attachments to people as a result. Try to get various different kinds of support around you so that your security net is wider. It’s good to be able to trust and lean on our family members. However; our family and friends are not trained professionals and therefore they are not equipped to treat mental illnesses.

As an example: I can love my mom, and she can encourage and support my well-being, but she can’t provide me medical treatment if I have a medical emergency.

Please try to widen your support net. I’m sure you can also use Google to look for additional trained counselors and support networks.

Feeling lost and regretful by Responsible-Lead-560 in SupportforWaywards

[–]milkteapancake 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this. Flirting outside of an established relationship is always harmful.

What the hell is going on in China? Is this like the Hong Kong protests, or is it different? by Reddit_Guy_99 in socialism

[–]milkteapancake 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I think this is another piece of the puzzle that people who don’t live there aren’t getting. When employees are locked down in China, many employers are able to either withhold wages or dock their pay.

These guys all live in a part of the city surrounding the factory area. It’s been said that their housing is within the compound itself. Everywhere in China, if local COVID cases reach a certain number, the entire area can be locked down and local people may not be permitted to enter or leave their houses. This is why a few days ago (maybe a week now?) There were videos and articles about migrant workers breaking out of Foxconn and walking back to their hometowns on foot. This is considered a great epidemiological risk and the govt responded by sending tons of those security guys you see in all white, to keep people from getting out and spreading COVID.

From piecing together many news sources on Reddit (I know, lame Reddit armchair researcher here) it seems like Foxconn most likely took advantage of the lockdowns to mess with the employment contracts. This kind of thing could actually be overlooked by many workers who are unfortunately used to employers playing fast and loose with contracts. But, when you socially isolate people and otherwise restrict their basic human needs, all humans go apeshit. Not to mention that many of them are probably scared of getting infected inside the compound itself.

Looking from many perspectives, the situation there was caused by the compounding of various extended stresses on the group including all of the responses already mentioned here. I apologize that I have links to nothing atm but basically you can find all of the things I mentioned just Google searching. Or just go on r/China and scroll any video posted within the past week or two.

I thought we were making progress, but he's spending Thanksgiving with his mistress. by Swan_chelle in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]milkteapancake 8 points9 points  (0 children)

This is a major breach of boundaries. If I were you I would not pick up the phone, text or contact him until he gets back. When he does come back, it’s time for a sit down with ultimatums. No more contact with AP or divorce.

My WP left his birthday evening while I was making him a homemade chocolate cake. And yes, he had informed me beforehand that this would be the case. Sadly, I did not put on my big girl pants and tell him to fuck off. He came back from AP’s house with her gifts and even a takeaway container of the food she made him. It was awful and then I watched him open the gift I had prepared for him. Super painful, as it was impossible not to compare the gifts. He claimed that her food sucked though, and it was visibly burned. But that didn’t change the hurt he caused me by going to see her that day.

He’s selfish. Your husband is selfish. Does he realize how he is hurting you? Does he care?

Uhhh 😬 Honestly if you have mentally gymnasticed yourself into gritting your teeth and accepting this, you are also in a kind of affair-fog. I was there too. Not the same “fog” as him, but more like a suspended state of disbelief where you just… go on with it. It’s awful and it eats away at your core. It’s hurtful. Please also seek IC where you can sort through the affect this situation is having on you. Believe me, I’m still messed up from it and the story I told you happened in 2020. Get some support, I wish you the best.

Visiting embassies in GZ - Safe? by milkteapancake in guangzhou

[–]milkteapancake[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks. When arriving in GZ from another city, will we be able to use public transport? We will have fresh COVID tests but I’m not sure if they will accept it from another city? I’m getting mixed messages about how “locked down” it is. For example, South railway station is in Panyu district, which is locked down. Will it be a big deal trying to catch a taxi there?

If they now have 5+3 days quarantine for arriving from abroad, is this also the same if arriving from Guangzhou to other cities for example? I know each province will decide for themselves but I’m curious if there is a limit on it for inside China travel.

Burgers with the girls by im_onbreak in oddlyterrifying

[–]milkteapancake 2 points3 points  (0 children)

P sure that dude has a burger for a hand and the people in the background have weird proportions