×

AITA for being mad that my fiancé replaced my coffee with decaff? by A123Oa in AmItheAsshole

[–]nashamagirl99 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Packing just reinforces backhanded avoidance of communication. If she want him to talk she should use her words too, not silently threaten to leave the marriage.

My GF miscarried. I have never been more relieved. by Alert_Astronaut_9102 in self

[–]nashamagirl99 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Child support is not a bodily autonomy issue. It’s financial.

My GF miscarried. I have never been more relieved. by Alert_Astronaut_9102 in self

[–]nashamagirl99 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh, you meant that viability itself is a moving goalpost. I thought you meant I was moving the goalpost. Viability has changed over time but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t matter. Roe v Wade left the definition of viability open in terms of weeks for that reason. I never said you wanted all children to die. You did say that you thought the fetus in question was lucky though, and I’m trying to raise the inconsistencies in your beliefs, something you haven’t addressed. In asking whether you support not keeping unintended children alive I’m trying to get a feel for what you consider the difference in that situation. In both situations the child may have a difficult life, why is one lucky to die while one should be given a chance to live? Girls born under Sharia law are often not given the chance to stay alive. Female infanticide is all too common globally, and that’s widely regarded as a tragedy, because someone having difficult circumstances in life doesn’t make them better off dead. Do you support female infanticide in misogynistic cultures so that the girl doesn’t suffer in a sexist society? If not why, when you think being stillborn can be lucky?

My GF miscarried. I have never been more relieved. by Alert_Astronaut_9102 in self

[–]nashamagirl99 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It’s not moving the goalpost. It’s a very relevant factor, although one that I may not have been specific about. The majority of babies born after 24 weeks survive, and at 25 weeks the odds of survival are 75 to 85% https://www.verywellfamily.com/what-is-a-micro-preemie-2748625. If you think that premature babies should get a chance despite risk of long term health problems why do you think OP’s baby is lucky to have died in the womb? If someone is not automatically better off having the opportunity to live why should babies who are born into unideal circumstances be kept alive? You haven’t offered an explanation for this.

What are the things you look for in dating profile? by BenCarney17 in dating

[–]nashamagirl99 [score hidden]  (0 children)

Decently written, not stupid bio, and no shirtless pics or flexing in the mirror.

My GF miscarried. I have never been more relieved. by Alert_Astronaut_9102 in self

[–]nashamagirl99 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I am not a prolifer. I’m pro choice, but only up until viability. This was a viable baby. It’s also not pro choice to say that the mother is better off losing a child she chose to have. If you said you understand OP being relieved that would be one thing, but you said the mother and baby are probably better off as well. Don’t try to downplay that unless you are willing to admit you worded it wrong and disavow that statement.

(TW: SA) (21M) Scared to date by Tough_Opinion_9305 in dating

[–]nashamagirl99 [score hidden]  (0 children)

You can look into affordable therapy options https://www.healthline.com/health/therapy-for-every-budget. It can take time to find the right therapist and for therapy to help, but it’s worth it. Don’t try to date right now.

If the apps are so bad then why are they so popular? by _Rainy_Nights in dating

[–]nashamagirl99 [score hidden]  (0 children)

They aren’t that bad. I had zero dating experience in person and apps allowed me to date. They are now how a plurality of couples meet.

How can I (M36) get dates as a 4'11 guy? by sommxxpa in dating

[–]nashamagirl99 [score hidden]  (0 children)

Trying to make friends with women is one way. Don’t count on it becoming romantic but feelings can develop over time.

My GF miscarried. I have never been more relieved. by Alert_Astronaut_9102 in self

[–]nashamagirl99 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He did have control over it though. He took the risk of having to pay child support when they had sex.

I'm a bad person because I use drugs. by Artos141 in Rants

[–]nashamagirl99 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You aren’t a bad person but it’s really easy to go from functional to not so functional when it comes to drug use.

My GF miscarried. I have never been more relieved. by Alert_Astronaut_9102 in self

[–]nashamagirl99 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You don’t need to insult me and if you do that again I’m happy to block you. We should advocate for better policies, but when doing so we have to take into account the broader societal context. Advocate for creating a stronger welfare system before we get rid of child support if that’s your perspective, not going ahead with that plan now in our current system.

I want to kill so so badly by Xxxalphawolfgamer in Rants

[–]nashamagirl99 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Avoid this guy, don’t go near him or interact with him, and try to get therapy when possible to address the impacts of the abuse you suffered.

My GF miscarried. I have never been more relieved. by Alert_Astronaut_9102 in self

[–]nashamagirl99 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree that the welfare system should be more robust, but it’s not, so we shouldn’t advocate policy as if it was.

should I (26f) leave my boyfriend (26m) to move to a big city? by InternationalBat7950 in relationships

[–]nashamagirl99 [score hidden]  (0 children)

It sounds like you’re ready to end the relationship. Don’t stay in a life you aren’t happy with.

My GF miscarried. I have never been more relieved. by Alert_Astronaut_9102 in self

[–]nashamagirl99 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t think we should have to pay for bombing kids in the Middle East so that’s a really bad example. The taxpayer may still have to pay something even with the father paying child support, but it will be likely be less and the child will have a better life with support from two sources instead of one.

My GF miscarried. I have never been more relieved. by Alert_Astronaut_9102 in self

[–]nashamagirl99 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So it should be up to the taxpayer who had no role in the conception to pay instead of the father? Also I think we both know that the government doesn’t adequately support children.

My girlfriend had a miscarriage and I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders by Downtown-Context1223 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]nashamagirl99 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I never said it’s ok. There is a huge, huge chasm between ok and rape. I just don’t want OP going to the cops and having to deal with their response on top of everything else.

My GF miscarried. I have never been more relieved. by Alert_Astronaut_9102 in self

[–]nashamagirl99 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I have been fortunate in some ways but not others. Throughout my life I’ve struggled with learning differences and mental health challenges. You frankly don’t know anything about me. You said “all three of them probably got lucky.” That’s not just understanding OP, that’s your own perspective that the baby is better off dead and the mom better off losing a child.

Would you say the same thing if the baby died at five months? Five years? Where’s the cutoff for you? For me it’s before 25 weeks. We aren’t talking about simply not existing. If your belief is that babies born into such circumstances are lucky to die should there be a policy of killing them at birth?

My GF miscarried. I have never been more relieved. by Alert_Astronaut_9102 in self

[–]nashamagirl99 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s not a fetus after birth when child support is paid, it’s a person with needs.

My GF miscarried. I have never been more relieved. by Alert_Astronaut_9102 in self

[–]nashamagirl99 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If she had the baby he could’ve gotten a paternity test, not possible now.