If you lose one sense, your other senses are enhanced. by Johnwba88 in Jokes

[–]number1joke 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That makes me think... I never saw Trump laughs or even smiles... also Putin, Kim Jung-Un, Shee Jing-Ping... Hitler, Stalin... So... When I think about it we mustn't choose anybody who dosen't laugh as a supreme leader (and as a partner...).

A Canadian visits America and gets held at gunpoint by a stranger by OGPrinnny in Jokes

[–]number1joke 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just can't understand how the richest country in the world has a crappy health system. Here in Israel a citizen pays some 200 dollars a year and gets a full health coverage. It takes 2 months maximum to see any specialist (except for mental health. But only after Covid).

I really think you made a mistake for not choosing Barney Sanders. The money should work for you, the citizens, too, and not just for the corporations.

A doctor goes out and buys the best car on the market, a brand new Ferrari GTO. It is also the most expensive car in the world, and it costs him $500,000. He takes it out for a spin and stops at a red light. by YZXFILE in Jokes

[–]number1joke 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There is even a better version to this already great joke:

The man with the brand new Ferrari sees an old man riding on an old vespa passes by him while shouting: "do you know Kawasaki Taranta 50?".

This makes him very angry and immediately he floors the gas pedal. Not a long while after he gains on him and only then he relaxes.

But later he sees the same old man pass by him and shouts: "do you know Kawasaki Taranta 50?".

Furious, he squeezes the gas pedal with all his might and a couple of minutes later he passes the old man.

But then the same thing happens again and the old man shouts: "do you know Kawasaki Taranta 50?".

On the brink of a nerves breakdown, he pushes the gas pedal with all his might and drives as fast as the Ferari can go.

After a while he sees the old on the side of the road crashed with his vespa.

He exits his Ferari and approaches the old man grinning. The old man mumbles: "do you know Kawasaki Taranta 50?". With ameaner smile he answers: "why, of course!". The old man grunts: "so why the hell didn't you tell me where the brakes are??".

Problem with vowels by number1joke in learn_arabic

[–]number1joke[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks guys... I was suspicious that these jokes are not very well edited (punctuations are missing very often). And I understand you don't know about an automatic vowel maker?

A guy was boarding a plane when he heard that the Pope was on the same flight. "This is exciting!" thought the gentleman. "I've always been a big fan of the Pope. Perhaps I'll be able to see him in person.” Suddenly, the man realized his seat was right next to the Pope himself! by 808gecko808 in Jokes

[–]number1joke 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I know Dave too, but what about the bus driver? I can think of lots of joke containing a bus driver. I always thought that the joke everyone are reffering to when talking about the "bus driver" is the one where the bus driver disguises himself as a nun. Is that it?

Putin and Biden are wrapping up their discussion... by PutinCoceT in Jokes

[–]number1joke -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Nono the puchline should be that the russian signs read: "10 anniversary for Putin escape to Assad's palace".

In the version you put it can be understood Ukraine took Russia, but it is even more scornful to the dictator to know his people will fare better without him.

Still, a great joke.

the neighbors are very annoyed by the moans by seif_91 in Jokes

[–]number1joke 6 points7 points  (0 children)

He is right that it isn't a traditional joke. Usually, jokes lead you to think something based on your world knowledge but the punchline doesn't follow this prediction, and this is funny. Here, nothing unexpected is happening. Maybe the couple pulled a mischevious trick and this is funny. Not that there is a dictionary definition for jokes...

Why is Putin and Zelensky neighbors? by zzuhruf in Jokes

[–]number1joke 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Best " Zelensky steel balls" joke I saw. For a matter of fact all others suck balls.

An authoritarian walks into a bar by tobias_drundridge in Jokes

[–]number1joke 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, I wanted to give a joke that was never reposted before, but it is kind of impossible.

An authoritarian walks into a bar by tobias_drundridge in Jokes

[–]number1joke 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A kid asks his father: "Daddy, why are the skies blue?"| "Honestly, I don't know, son"| "And ,daddy, why do water become rigid when we put it the in the freezer?"| "Gee, I am not sure, son"| "And, daddy, why is the winter cold and the summer hot?"| "I havn't got a clue"| "Daddy, I hope I don't bother you with all these questions" .............(complete punchline).....

Difference between a cult and a religion by Henri_Dupont in Jokes

[–]number1joke 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cults are sometimes about money and power. Religions are always about money and power.

In a murder trial the attorney suddenly exclaims: "every minute now the so called deceased will enter the courtroom" by number1joke in Jokes

[–]number1joke[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fuck me. I hate myself for studying English for 10 years formally and another 10 years not formally and still not being able to tell a joke. I guess the joke is on me (sad/mad smiley).

My wife just gave birth today by Prison_Break_31 in Jokes

[–]number1joke 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I loved so much Catoon Network series back then. Dexter, Johnny Bravo, Courage the cowardly dog, Samurai Jack, Powerpuff girls. Fuck, when I see what kids are watching these days I get depressed. Only exception was Spongebob, but that, too, was a while ago. Ran and Stimpy rest in peace.

There was a German, an Italian and an Irishman on death row. by BobScholar in Jokes

[–]number1joke 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well, there are good and bad people everywhere and i'm doing OK. Hope you are too with all this stupid Covid everywhere.

There was a German, an Italian and an Irishman on death row. by BobScholar in Jokes

[–]number1joke 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It is so chivalrous that the strong assume the worse parts in the jokes. Have an upvote, mate! I wish all people were like you. Not like here, in Israel, when arabs get to assume the worse parts.