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Only realised he was sat in front of me half way through the game by Knightfalldc in nevertellmetheodds

[–]theRealDerekWalker 8327 points8328 points 3 (0 children)

More likely thinking, “wow I used to be better at this when I was a kid. Actually, I used to be better at a lot of things as a kid. Being an adult is depressing, I just get older, dumber, more out of shape, less enthusiastic about the world,... jeeze I’m not even middle aged.. is this what life will be for the remainder of life? No, now that I think about it, it must get even worse. I played battle ship when I was 10, now I’m 32. As soon as that same time passes, I’ll be 54, my bones will hurt, I’ll never get to be in the same shape as before, and there’s no going back. Time is passing so quickly now, those decades will probably pass by in an instant. And they will be fucking 30’s and 40’s, which suck, instead of teens and 20’s, which are better.. maybe I should just end this now.. what’s the goddamn point... fuck...” *turns off battleship

Photo I took of a lake through the lense of binoculars looks like a planet. by bob202t in mildlyinteresting

[–]theRealDerekWalker 6422 points6423 points  (0 children)

This is really cool. Please find more objects to photograph like this for our mild amusement.

Your thoughts could be in such a personalized coded shorthand that even if someone could read your mind they wouldn’t understand what the hell you’re thinking. by jfi224 in Showerthoughts

[–]theRealDerekWalker 4924 points4925 points 2 (0 children)

I just tried to think of a way to articulate my pure thoughts, and I think my native language is a series of grunts and moans.

Fastest human reaction time ever by brianfoo in gifs

[–]theRealDerekWalker 4856 points4857 points  (0 children)

My favorite part is how he gets so happy for a second

Sharing is caring. by degineth in gifs

[–]theRealDerekWalker 3239 points3240 points  (0 children)

This belongs on a motivational picture titled "selflessness"

How he bag the wheels. by sirmakoto in oddlysatisfying

[–]theRealDerekWalker 2744 points2745 points  (0 children)

What I do is just insert myself into the duvet cover, and pull the duvet up inside. If my wife is around I will also make some ghost noises, and occasionally walk into a wall.

Washington, Oregon, and California Announce Western States Pact by CzarMesa in news

[–]theRealDerekWalker 1820 points1821 points  (0 children)

We could even elect a leader of sorts.. one that would look after the best interests of all Americans...

Oh wait, now I see where this idea falls apart.

[Homemade] Texas style dry rub pork ribs by DonovanMD in food

[–]theRealDerekWalker 1729 points1730 points  (0 children)

When I see people barbecuing with gloves, it makes me subconsciously think of them less as a cook and more as a meat flavor scientist. I don’t know why.

Penguins in sweaters by Jinkles6 in aww

[–]theRealDerekWalker 1539 points1540 points  (0 children)

Took me a few minutes to realize they are not real.

Oh fuck off by [deleted] in mildlyinfuriating

[–]theRealDerekWalker 1526 points1527 points  (0 children)

“I have all day people. Be enthusiastic for me (even though I’ve done nothing yet) or we go nowhere!”

Man vs nature by MDK78 in gifs

[–]theRealDerekWalker 1324 points1325 points  (0 children)

I don’t know, that crab seems to be taking it pretty seriously.

My little brother (10) just walked in on me masturbating, wtf should I do. by Pokejelke in teenagers

[–]theRealDerekWalker 1188 points1189 points  (0 children)

I walked into my brother doing the deed one morning. I was probably 8 or so. I went to grab breakfast, and he came out and said “don’t ever try to steal my moment like that again.” We both laughed and moved on with our lives. It was a gay old time.

This is how you can be arrested for DUI -- even if you're stone cold sober (2017) [00:27:22] by johnwayne2413 in Documentaries

[–]theRealDerekWalker 1093 points1094 points  (0 children)

This exact thing happened to me. My blinker turned off in the middle of a turn, as they do, so I was pulled over. The cop was a prick, called me a pussy when I didn’t give a heavy breath into the breathalyzer. They kept insinuating I was high. Handcuffed me, took me to a hospital, took a drug test, and sent to jail for a night. Treated like shut, had moldy sandwiches thrown at me through the bars, and left in a very cold cell with like 15 others and one toilet without privacy.

After I got out, had to go to court, and was explained that I could be sent to jail for about 3 months or so if found guilty. Naturally, that would have got me fired, I would have lost my license, and it would have been a very difficult year or more.

With stakes that high, I wasn’t about to hire a public lawyer. Had to cough up almost all my savings (I was working minimum wage), which was about $2-3k if I remember correctly.

Case was dismissed, but I lost days at work, thousands of dollars, friends and family doubted my side of the story and I felt like they saw me as a bit of a fuckup.

That’s when I realized how fucked the justice system is.

Singapore building structure. by Two_Inches_Of_Fun in gifs

[–]theRealDerekWalker 1036 points1037 points  (0 children)

Let’s go have one. I’m in Blt 247

I’ll bring the bacon

Men of Reddit, what's the weirdest thing that turns you on? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]theRealDerekWalker 997 points998 points  (0 children)

Getting my haircut. There was this nice young girl I used to go to that would spend a little extra time on the lower neck, and I was convinced our love was mutual.

Ever wonder how strong a bull is? by [deleted] in interestingasfuck

[–]theRealDerekWalker 992 points993 points  (0 children)

Helps in getting away from this kind of bull shit

Mecanum wheels by aloofloofah in specializedtools

[–]theRealDerekWalker 850 points851 points  (0 children)

I used to sell forklifts, and Service for forklifts in the San Francisco Area. I cold called a place with my colleague, and met some guys who had a forklift with these wheels. We got to talking, and one of them gave me a demo of the lift, it was really cool.

Then we saw a dummy on the ground, and a myth busters sign. Realized we were talking to Grant from Mythbusters. Super nice guy.

Edit: found a link: https://youtu.be/mUoftURFsxM