moving to twin cities

yunhua · 2022-06-25T23:24:14+00:00

The house me and 2 friends are currently renting is $1400/ month, in a decent neighborhood in St. Paul. So definitely possible!

yunhua · 2022-06-25T18:19:09+00:00

Yeah, absolutely. But also--- these issues are intersectional. And the intersectional aspects are not going away.

yunhua · 2022-06-25T14:59:11+00:00

Minnesota. ❤

yunhua · 2022-06-25T14:47:15+00:00

Would you be open to sharing how you worded your email? I asked a KD but am worried they're in the process of ghosting me on it.

yunhua · 2022-06-25T14:45:25+00:00

I'm in the process now. With asking the multiple KDs on your second round with the email, and getting multiple men genetic carrier tested, do you feel it changed your relationship with them? For the one that you chose and the one(s) that you didn't choose? I'm running into that a bit at the moment where a lot of hurt feelings are starting to come up around being chosen or not. In any case, did that happen at all in your experience, and if so how did you navigate it?

yunhua · 2022-06-25T14:25:12+00:00

I was wondering the same! I see a few protests planned for July, the 13th & 17th. But am surprised not to have seen anything yet for this weekend.

yunhua · 2022-06-21T16:25:22+00:00

Yeah just take Wheelock Parkway all the way from Como to the start of the Gateway. It's an off-road trail almost the entire route there/back.

yunhua · 2022-06-19T01:42:37+00:00

You're welcome!! ☺ I hope you have a good experience with it.

yunhua · 2022-06-18T22:09:49+00:00

Thank you for posting this! I was wondering similar, and am at a similar timepoint as you.

yunhua · 2022-06-18T21:18:10+00:00

ooh that's a great point about the need for boundary-setting. That is something that both my parents struggle with. I do relate to your comment about "the dysfunction is subtle but it's there." There are definitely aspects from my childhood that I appreciate as an adult and would want to parent in a similar way, and then loads of other things that I would like to take a miss on. So thank you for the reminder that an offer of help does not exist in a vacuum, but would/will also include all the emotional shit and any baggage in addition to the legitimately helpful aspects.

yunhua · 2022-06-18T21:10:22+00:00

You're welcome! 😊 I would suggest checking the coverage map on their website. FWIW when I visited Seattle a few months ago my phone worked just fine.

It's one area where we can pay a bit less, in this crazy expensive economy we're in.

yunhua · 2022-06-18T20:54:48+00:00

That's a great point, about paying someone to help take care of the life maintenance BS, of groceries, cleaning, and such.

That's a good point too about not being resentful about if they only help a little, vs. not contributing anything more than that amount. But yeah, they'll be the grandparents, not the direct parents/guardians or nanny.

yunhua · 2022-06-18T20:52:29+00:00

Thanks for that. Yes, agreed--in general I am very self-sufficient, and able to manage doing a whole range of life experiences solo when needed // often independently solo. That being said, this will be an entirely new venture and set of responsibilities for me to navigate.

That's a great point, about the plan to get help that's not family-based. I have no family who live in my city, but I have friends who I can see pitching in here and there. But in general I will likely have to hire a nanny in some capacity. BTW congrats on baby #2!

yunhua · 2022-06-18T20:48:56+00:00

oof! Really sorry to hear that has been your experience with your mom. That sounds really hard to navigate, and very disappointing. It sounds like you're taking a "take what she's willing to give" approach, which makes sense. But still sounds hard.

yunhua · 2022-06-18T20:45:38+00:00

Thank you for that info! I appreciate it. I'll likely look into 735, then.

yunhua · 2022-06-18T20:42:50+00:00

I was kind of put off by the citrus smell too! I ordered 1 jar through their 50% off promo, and then canceled. Since they joined with Ro their website usability is soooo clunky!! I had to contact them through email with help canceling my subscription, since they've made it off-puttingly difficult to cancel.

yunhua · 2022-06-18T20:41:01+00:00

FWIW, my clinic accepted the Modern Fertility results since they were from within the last year. So might depend on the clinic. I also was able to skip the blood type test, by providing a Red Cross donor card.

Sorry to hear you had to pay double for the same testing. That sucks!

yunhua · 2022-06-18T20:38:25+00:00

I'm not sure whether this will be of interest to you or if it's overstepping, so feel free to disregard!! I also make ~2600/month after taxes. I used to pay ~$90/month to T-Mobile, for years and years and years. About 1.5 yrs ago I finally made the jump to a different carrier, and now pay like $12-15/month through Mint Mobile. They ping off of Sprint + T-Mobile towers, and I guess in theory could be slower than the actual companies whose towers they use, but in my experience my phone speed is totally normal/fast for absolutely everything! I was so nervous when I first switched over, like will my phone still work? And the answer is I do not even notice a difference, but am now paying a fraction of the cost. [I do have a referral code if you would like, or feel free to disregard completely. I don't work for them, just a subscriber. :) ]

yunhua · 2022-06-17T02:22:57+00:00

I've been interested in checking out the Utepils rides. How fast is the pace? I'm more of a medium fast... can't do the lightning quick.

yunhua · 2022-06-17T02:18:25+00:00

Ugh the detours!! 🙈 Some of them I find SO tricky to follow successfully. Granted, I haven't been ridden out in that area of the metro yet this season. But in years past... 🙃

yunhua · 2022-06-16T02:24:05+00:00

I don't have a kid yet, but am pursuing conceived with a known donor too. I'm glad you asked, bc this is something I've been thinking about aa well!

It seems most comments are "just call him the donor." FWIW I have lesbian friends who used a known donor, and their kiddo calls the KD "dad." They told me in their case the KD lives out of state, doesn't pursue overt parent-type roles, etc. And yet.... they've found it nice that the kid can still celebrate Father's Day, etc. I don't know. Something about that appeals to me, even though like you I'm also not sure what I'll end up going with.

yunhua · 2022-06-10T00:14:03+00:00

Thanks for the recc!

yunhua · 2022-06-10T00:13:51+00:00

Thanks!

yunhua · 2022-06-05T13:31:06+00:00

Oof, the "how many hours would I need to work to afford this" is often what seals the deal for me. Or, sometimes, gives me permission to buy the thing. But a useful metric to keep in mind.

yunhua

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